This Was Your Life: The Homophobe

This comic is the 21st episode in an ongoing series in which Loki and his supernatural friends taunt the recently deceased. 

Homophobe

See who else Loki and his friends have taunted:


Questions Christians have to struggle with that non-believers can answer in three words

It’s possible for Christians to answer all of the questions listed below, but those explanations will be thousands of words longs, and they’ll be full of speculations and mental gymnastics. Non-believers can explain every single one of these questions elegantly and completely in three words: Christianity is mythology.

The principle of Occam’s Razor states, “… among competing hypotheses that predict equally well, the one with the fewest assumptions should be selected. Other, more complicated solutions may ultimately prove to provide better predictions, but—in the absence of differences in predictive ability—the fewer assumptions that are made, the better.”

It’s possible that all the complicated, speculative explanations Christian apologeticists have reverse-engineered to answer the Bible’s hard questions are true, but if we’re being intellectually honest with ourselves, the probability of that being the case is extremely slim. If you find yourself having to go to absurd lengths to explain your way around objective criticisms of your beliefs, at some point you should ask yourself if the reason your answers have to be so round-about is because reality is that complicated, or because you’re trying to explain your way around reality.

  1. What is the Holy Trinity?
  2. What does it mean that Jesus is the son of God?
  3. Why does God want blood sacrifices?
  4. Why did Jesus say, “God, why have you forsaken me,” before he died?
  5. Was the universe really created in 6 days, about 6000 years ago?
  6. Was the Garden of Eden real? If not, is original sin real? If not, why did Jesus have to die?
  7. Did the entire world really flood, and did Noah really fit two of every animal on a boat for 40 days?
  8. Why did the story of Noah’s ark first appear in the Epic of Gilgamesh?
  9. Why does God kill people for petty reasons in the Old Testament?
  10. Why are there no longer talking animals?
  11. Why are there no more prophets?
  12. Should you eat shellfish and wear clothes with mixed fabrics?
  13. Why can’t people perform miracles at will anymore?
  14. What is sin?
  15. Does God approve of polygamy?
  16. What did Jesus mean when he said he came to fulfill the law, not to abolish it?
  17. Why was it so important to God to include long lists of lineages in His one book of instructions to humans?
  18. Why does God approve of slavery?
  19. Why did Jesus turn water into wine instead of doing more important things with his infinite powers and short time on Earth?
  20. Why does the God say to stone adulterers to death and then say, “He who is without sin, throw the first stone?”
  21. Does God have a plan for you?
  22. What would God want you to do?
  23. Does God give people signs?
  24. Should you go to church?
  25. Should you give money to churches?
  26. Which church, if any, does God approve of, and how do you know?
  27. How do you repress your sexual instincts?
  28. Why is it so important to God that you repress your sexual instincts?
  29. How much fun and self-indulgence is too much?
  30. Should you punish yourself for sinning?
  31. How can you love sinners and non-believers if they’re evil and deserve to go to Hell?
  32. How do you cope with the fact that most of the people you know and love are going to Hell?
  33. Why do you need to be baptized?
  34. Do babies who haven’t been baptized or believe in Jesus go to Hell?
  35. Do people who never heard of Jesus go to Hell?
  36. Do mentally handicapped people go to Hell?
  37. Should you pray to an all-powerful, all-knowing being?
  38. What does anything in the book of Revelation mean?
  39. Do you only need faith to be saved, or do you need good works also?
  40. Should you give away everything you own? If not, how much should you give away?
  41. Why aren’t there any first hand accounts of Jesus’s existence?
  42. Why were the Jews God’s chosen people?
  43. Why would God choose one ethnic group as his favorite group of people?
  44. Why did God need a house built for him in Jerusalem?
  45. Why are there contradictions in the Bible?
  46. How do you know you can trust The Council of Nicaea?

However you felt about this post, you’ll probably feel the same way about these:

The Bible is mythology

Christianity is bad for you and society

Churches and Christian Culture


Search terms people have used to find The Wise Sloth’s blog

 

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America never should have made polygamy illegal

There is no solid, logical, coherent reason why polygamy should be illegal. There has never been one form of marriage that worked better than all others, and no society has ever suffered from giving people too much freedom to marry. The strategy that has worked best throughout all of human history is to adapt to the needs of the local environment. About 25% of the countries in the world today allow polygamous marriages, and while those countries have their problems, those problems aren’t caused by people living together happily in love.

4 illogical arguments against polygamy:

1. God hates polygamy: Some conservative Christians Americans would argue that, according to God and the Bible, marriage is supposed to be between one man and one woman. This is simply not true. Polygamy is very common in the Bible. So legalizing polygamy would be a step towards Biblical standards of marriage. However, while there are good reasons to legalize polygamy, the fact that the Bible approves of it isn’t one of them. If we’re going to base marriage laws on Biblical law, then women should be slaves, and fathers should sell their daughters for silver and beat them to death with rocks if they’re not a virgin on their wedding night… unless they were raped. In that case the father should sell his daughter to her rapist. The “traditional Christian” concept of marriage being between one man and one woman who are in love, has no basis in Christianity. That’s a modern, secular tradition. If you want to live in a Christian theocracy, then you shouldn’t be standing against polygamy. You should be standing against adultery, divorce and equality for women.

Click picture to enlarge

2. Polygamy is a slippery slope: Some people would argue that polygamy is a slippery slope towards legalizing incest and bestiality. However, incest is illegal because it causes birth defects, and bestiality is illegal because an animal can’t consent to sex. Neither of these apply to polygamy.

3. Polygamy oppresses women: You should not use this argument if you’ve never met a polyamorous/polygamous family, because you don’t really know what you’re talking about. I’ll concede that there have been polygamous families where women were treated poorly, but that was the decision of the individual men involved. It was not the inevitable result of people living together. If we’re to assert that people shouldn’t have the freedom to marry who they want because things could go bad, then that same logic would require us to make all marriage illegal. There are mountains of statistics of women being mistreated in “traditional” one-man-one-woman marriages. If you’re concerned about protecting people from themselves, then you should be petitioning to end marriage completely.

4. Polygamy would complicate taxes: It’s noble to be concerned with other people’s taxes, but that’s not a solid enough reason to take away people’s freedoms. If tax laws are oppressive, the solution isn’t to accept oppression.

There is no solid, logical, coherent reason why polygamy should be illegal. The only reason for wanting polygamy to be criminalized is because you don’t understand it and don’t want people to live differently than you. That’s just cut and dry oppression. It’s not yours or your government’s place to criminalize love or domestic partnerships.

The only thing criminalizing polygamy accomplishes is demeaning, frustrating and destroying people’s lives. Legalizing polygamy would reflect enlightened values of adaptability, love and freedom. We’ll never live in utopia as long as we’re taking people’s freedoms away for subjective, fantasy-based reasons.

Check out these other posts about dating, relationships and sex:

Dating and Relationships

Philosophy of Sexuality

Sex Positions and Techniques


Advice on anal sex for beginners

Note 1: This post is directed to people who have zero anal sex experience. These are just tips to get you started safely and enjoyably. This guide is also directed towards people who are nervous about anal sex. So these instructions take the longest path to the goal. If you’re 100% ready to jump into anal sex, and your partner is an anal pro, you might be able to fast-forward the process and use more exotic positions than are listed here. This guide may still be worth reading to help you see the bigger picture, and some day you might have a partner who is nervous about anal; on that day, this guide may be more useful to you.

Note 2: Men and women can both receive anal sex, and with a strap-on, even women can give it. Since anal sex is gender-neutral, this blog will refer to the person doing the penetration as “The Top,” and the person being penetrated will be referred to as “The Bottom.”

What should you to do prepare?

Step 1: Communicate. The first step towards having virgin anal sex with your partner is to talk to them about it. Never pressure anyone into doing anything they don’t want to. Just express your interest, and explain the benefits and the process. Create a plan and agree on your boundaries. The better they understand what they’re getting into, the less misconceptions they’ll have holding them back.

Step 2. Acclimate The Bottom’s mind and body. If you don’t loosen the anus before penetration then you run a high risk of tearing the tissue. So you’ll want to loosen it with some light stretching before you penetrate it with your penis or strap-on. It’s a good idea to begin the process a few days before you do the real deed. Not only will this prepare the tissue for preparation, but it also acclimates your partner’s mind. It’s a natural reflex for the body to tense up when the anus is penetrated, and if you try to force your way through you increase your risk of tearing tissue. If The Bottom is already used to being penetrated, they’ll be more relaxed and more able to safely and enjoyably receive deeper penetration.

You’ll definitely want to loosen the anus immediately before penetration every time. You can use a finger for this, but if either of you have anxieties about poop, this could be a turn-off. You could wear a medical glove to keep from getting your fingers dirty, but some people may find still find that awkward. Also, many people have latex allergies. So you may want to use a non-latex glove just to be safe.

Your other option is to use a sex toy. There are a dizzying number of sex toys on the market. The most important thing you need to remember when picking an anal sex toy is that the anus tends to pucker when penetrated, which can suck toys into the anus resulting in an embarrassing trip to the E.R. to have it removed.

There are anal pros who will tell you that you can safely use vibrators and dildos for anal play, but most X-Ray technicians would advise you to only use toys that are designed not to get lost. The safest, simplest toy is a butt plug with a wide base. An added bonus to using a butt plug is that you can insert it and leave it there while you make out or have oral or PIV sex prior to anal penetration. Both partners can also wear a butt plug so that The Bottom doesn’t feel like the experience is one-sided. Not only is that a fair compromise, but it’s actually a great opportunity for both people because hey, anal penetration is fun.

Wearing a butt plug can give a man a higher-level orgasm, but he can get an even higher-level orgasm by having a vibrating prostate stimulator inserted in his anus. Again, make sure you use one with a wide base. If you give a man a blow job while probing his anus with a vibrating prostate stimulator, he’ll have a mind-blowing orgasm, and it’ll be a great bonding/equalizing experience for both of you.

Whatever you stick into an anus, it’s absolutely vital to lubricate both the object and the anus first. You’ll want to use 5-10 times the amount of lube as you would use to lubricate a vagina. When in doubt, err on the side of caution. Nothing bad is going to happen from using too much lube, but you can easily create a worse-case scenario by using too little.

When lubricating the anus, the thing to remember is that, unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t produce its own internal lubricant. So if you apply a generous amount of lube to the opening and the object, then stick it in, the object will slide in easily for an inch or so, but the lube will quickly rub off on the sides of the anal cavity, and then the dry object will hit dry tissue and tear it. So you want to lube the hole and the object, penetrate the anus a little bit. Then re-lube the opening and the object and penetrate it again. Then do that again. Keep in constant communication with your partner to determine how many times you have to repeat the process, and be prepared to re-apply even more lube at any time during anal play.

Not everyone wears a condom for anal sex, but until you’re in a long-term monogamous relationship with someone, you should, because it prevents the risk of STDs and UTIs. It defeats the purpose of having fun if it’s going to make you sick.

If you’re worried about poop, you can take a laxative or get an enema earlier in the day to clean out your colon prior to having your anus penetrated. Beware though, if you take laxatives or receive enemas too often, your body will become dependent on them, and then your life is going get a lot harder. The simplest thing you can do to keep your colon clean is eat plenty of fiber like Shredded Wheat. Just don’t eat too much fiber or you’ll get constipated.

Anal sex positions

There’s no one right or best position for anal sex. They all have their pros and cons. The question is which position you and your partner most comfortable with and what mood you’re trying to set. Here’s a list of the pros/cons of the basic positions to help you figure out what’s best for you and your partner:

Normal doggy style

Of all the sex positions, doggy style is the most synonymous with anal sex for one good reason: It angles the anus perfectly to slide an object in comfortably (though other positions can be just as comfortable). It also allows The Bottom to play with their genitals while being pleasured from behind.

The downside of doggy style is that it’s the least intimate position. So if you’re doing anal for the first time, you might want to start in the doggy style position for a few minutes and then switch to a different position in which there’s no chance of The Bottom feeling like they’re being used as an impersonal fuck toy. Having said that, you should revisit the doggy style position when you’re both ready for hard, wild, uninhibited anal sex,

Laying on the stomach

Have The Bottom lay flat on their stomach (possibly with a pillow under their hips), and have The Top mount them. This is more relaxing for The Bottom than doggy style, it provides a good angle for penetration, and it allows The Top to hug and kiss The Bottom thus making anal sex a more intimate full body experience. The only problem is it’s difficult for The Bottom to pleasure themselves.

Spooning

Spooning gives you just as good of an angle for penetration as the previous two positions, and it allows for more intimacy. Plus, it gives The Bottom plenty of room to pleasure themselves with their hands or toys. The Top can even reach around and pleasure The Bottom’s genitals. This way, The Bottom isn’t just someone that anal sex is happening to, they’re the center of attention, and they have a good chance of having an orgasm (as long as their genitals are being stimulated while their anus is being penetrated).

Missionary

The missionary position is arguably the most intimate sexual position. It gives both partners the most room to kiss and use all their body parts to express their passion. If you put a pillow under The Bottom’s hips, they can be comfortably penetrated.  The Bottom has the freedom to relax on their back completely or take control of the speed and force of the thrusts. Both partners also have room to pleasure The Bottom’s genitals with their hands or toys. If your goal is to make your first anal sex session as romantic as possible, you may want to use the missionary position.

Cowgirl

The cowgirl position gives The Bottom more control over the speed and force of thrusts than any other position. So if you’re nervous about anal being too intense and damaging your bodily tissue, this might be a good position to start in. If The Top lays flat on their back, they may not get the intimacy they’re looking for. But if The Top sits on a chair or couch and has The Bottom straddle them while they’re sitting upright, then both partners can experience lots of intimacy, and if The Bottom is a female, she can rub her clit against The Top’s abdomen and possible get an orgasm. If your main concern is that anal sex be as physically pleasurable for both partners, you might want to use this position.

Reverse Cowgirl

Everything I just said about the cowgirl position applies to the reverse cowgirl position. The two biggest differences are that if The Bottom is a female, she can’t rub her clit against The Top’s abdomen. However, if The Top is sitting upright, he/she can easily reach around and pleasure The Bottom’s genitals using hands or toys. So more than any other position, this gives a female Bottom the most potential to be the center of attention.

Speeds

If you or your partner are nervous about anal sex, talk with each other about what speed/s you’re going to use ahead of time. The more everyone understands what they’re getting into, the less reason anyone will have to be anxious.

Slow

You definitely want to start out an anal sex session very slowly to give The Bottom’s mind and body time to acclimate. If it’s their first time, you might not even want to ever build up to medium or fast speeds. There’s nothing wrong with penetrating The Bottom and then holding your penis or strapon inside them without ever thrusting at all. This way you can use all your time together to focus on pleasuring The Bottom’s genitals while  they’re statically/passively penetrated from behind. This will give them a safe, pleasurable, intimate experience that could wet their appetite for more vigorous anal play later on instead of shocking them and scaring them away from experimenting with anal in the future. Another option is to statically/passively penetrate them for a few minutes and then work your way up to slow, fluid pumps and stick with that pace for the rest of the session. This can make for a nice, soothing introduction to anal sex.

Medium

You always want to start an anal sex session with slow thrusts for the safety of The Bottom. However, if you only ever have slow anal sex, both partners will probably get bored eventually. It’s hard to go wrong with a nice, even medium pace. It allows both partners to feel what’s going on, and it’s probably not going to hurt anyone. Just make sure that your movements are fluid and everyone should have a good time.

Fast

For the safety of The Bottom, don’t start with fast thrusts. Start slow, then speed up to a medium pace. Stick with that for a little while, and then rev up your speed. Check with your partner first to see if they want you to be that aggressive, and make sure their anus still has plenty of lubrication. Fast anal sex can be great as along as everyone and everything is ready for it.

Is it morally okay to have anal sex?

I’ve never heard a logical, coherent argument for why anal sex is immoral. Sure, it involves poop and the butt, but life involves poop and butts. Poop and butts is a mundane non-issue. There’s no reason for it to be a taboo. It’s just there. Actually, it’s better than just there. It’s a gift. It’s an opportunity for intimacy with the ones we care about. There is only good in that. If we’re not here to live and love, then what the hell are we doing here? I can’t, don’t and won’t believe that we’re here to fear and loath any part of our bodies. I believe we’re here to live and love, and anal sex is one way of doing that.

Having said that, anal sex is not a moral imperative either. There’s no logical reason why anal abstinence would make you a bad person. Your prerogative is your choice, and your choice is your right. You do your thing, and don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something you’re not comfortable with.

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My experience with the TSA

tsa second base

I recently flew from Colorado to Texas, and I arrived at the airport 30 minutes before my plane was scheduled to leave. Normally this airport isn’t very busy. So I wasn’t worried… until I reached the security checkpoint, which had about 50 people in it.

Luckily, the line was moving surprisingly fast. So my anxiety was shrinking as I got closer to the body scanner, which I like to call “the dignity evaporation machine” or “D.E.M.” for short. I’ve traveled around the world, and America is the only country I’ve ever had to walk through these. I loath these things, because they blast you with radiation, microwaves, and/or who knows what. They used to take naked pictures of you, but that was supposedly changed, but how would I really know what goes on inside them? Either way, when you stand inside them you have to hold your hands above your head like you’re a criminal being arrested. The invasion of privacy and the submissive posture really drives home the point that everyone who attempts to board a plane in America is considered guilty of terrorism until proven innocent.

As I approached the D.E.M. I noticed a male TSA agent standing idly next to the old metal detector that nobody walks through anymore. I knew you can choose between going through the D.E.M. or getting a pat-down. I assumed a pat-down would be quicker, and if I was going to lose my dignity anyway, I felt it would be more just if the TSA had to get their hands dirty taking it from me.

So I told the TSA agent that I preferred a pat-down. He looked at me in disgust and then shouted over his shoulder at nobody in particular, “We’ve got an opt-out.” Then he stood there staring into space for 4 minutes while I watched in horror as people who were originally behind me in the line passed through the D.E.M. Finally, I said to the agent, “I’m running a bit late. If this is going to take a while, I’ll just go through the machine.” He barked at me with a mixture of amusement and disgust, “Too late for that.” Only then did he take me through the metal detector to a place with a floor mat with two foot prints on it where I was instructed to stand.

As I assumed the position the agent asked me in a voice dripping with suspicion and accusation, “Why did you choose to opt-out?” I told him, “I don’t know what that machine is. I don’t like it, and I don’t want anyone to see me naked.” He replied, “Eh, it’s not that bad.”

Then he took his time finding a box of plastic gloves, and then he made it a point to show me how slowly he put them on and adjusted them. Then the frisking started. Mind you, I was wearing a fitting T-shirt and fitting blue jeans. Since I was flying on a cheap airline that charged $50 to check a bag and/or carry on anything bigger than a small purse, I had all of my luggage (3 pairs of socks, three pairs of underwear, and three T-shirts) in a plastic grocery bag. So there was nowhere for me to hide anything.

Still, he wrapped his hands tightly around each of my arms and acted like he was squeezing a tube of toothpaste. He even ran his hands down my bare arms past the sleeves as if I could be hiding something under my skin. He stuck his hands down my shirt collar and inspected all 360 degrees of my neck. Then he did the same thing to waist band. Then he squeezed both my legs like they were tubes of toothpaste. He did that to each leg from the front and then each leg from the back. On each pass he jammed his hands up into my groin, which meant he made firm contact with my balls 4 times.

After the frisking was over he swabbed his gloves and put the swab into a machine that looked like a futuristic cash register. The machine beeped, and a bright red light started flashing. I said, “What does that mean?” He said, “Nothing good. It means you tested positive for bomb residue.” I wanted to shout at him, “Bomb residue! Bomb residue! Where’s the bomb? I’m just a guy in a t-shirt and jeans with a plastic bag full of underwear, and you just squeezed every inch of my body!” Of course, there wasn’t any need for me to state the obvious. He knew there wasn’t any bomb or any residue for that matter. We both knew I was just a guy getting harassed, and there was nothing I could do about it.

The agent called his supervisor, who was an older black lady. She looked at the machine and looked at the gloves. Then she started chitchatting with the agent, completely ignoring me. I asked her, “So what happens now?” Without even looking at me she said in a bored, monotone voice, “Sir, your clothing tested positive for bomb residue. So we have to take you into a private room for another pat down.” Then she just walked off and left us to wait for an elderly white guy to come and escort me to a private room along with the agent who had just frisked my balls.

As we entered the room I asked, “Can I just take off all my clothes to speed up this process.” With a mixture of annoyance and glee, my original frisker said, “No. We have to do it this way.” He stood in the corner of the room and nonchalantly picked through my plastic bag while the older agent frisked me in exactly the same way as I had just been frisked out in the open. So I don’t know why we had to go into a private room. He also jammed my balls into my groin a total of 4 times. The only thing he did differently was make me take my shoes off and rub the bottom of my feet. When he was finished he went and tested his gloves in the bomb residue machine while the younger agent guarded the door.

When the second glove test came back negative the agent at the door said, “Ok. We’re done here,” and sauntered off. None of the agents showed any relief or surprise by the outcome, because they knew from the first second they saw me that I was nothing more than a guy in a T-shirt and jeans carrying a plastic bag full of underwear who was critically late for his flight. Needless to say, I didn’t get an apology for wasting my time and violating my personal space.

So I collected everything I brought with me except for my dignity and ran for my gate just in time to board my plane where I spent the next two and a half hours lamenting how much of my tax dollars are spent dehumanizing the American public under the guise of safety. On my return flight to Colorado a few days later I opted to go through the dignity evaporation machine like the powerless peon I am.

There are some people who would say that everything that happened to me was my fault, and I should have arrived at the airport earlier to schedule time to be humiliated, and I should have just submitted to having my body radiated or microwaved or whatever instead of exercising my barely existent freedom of choice because I should have anticipated the TSA agents would be annoyed by the fact that I want to travel.

Call me crazy, but I feel like this is blaming the victim, and it sets a dystopian precedent. How about instead of making humiliation, bullying and sexual assault a normal part of travel, we just get rid of the TSA since they’re completely ineffective at preventing terrorism anyway.

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Why “Tomorrowland” made me facepalm

Tommorowland” is a movie produced by the Disney corporation. The premise is that in the 1950’s a group of scientists create a portal to another dimension where they create a Utopian society with futuristic technology called, Tomorrowland. The greatest invention this new society produces is a machine that can see into the future, and it reveals that humanity back on Earth will destroy itself along with the rest of the planet very soon. The leaders of Tomorrowland decide not to intervene because they believe Earthlings aren’t worth saving. More about that later.

Just like “The Pirates o the Caribbean,” the movie, “Tomorrowland” is based on a theme park attraction at Disney World in Florida. Walt Disney originally intended the Tommorowland attraction to be a planned community where people could live, work and grow in a city that takes full advantage of all the technological advancements of the 20th century. In fact, Disney’s famous Epcot Center stands for “Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow.” However, Walt Disney died before his dream could be realized, and his would-be city of the future simply became an overpriced resort that embodies the worst aspects of consumerism.

The working conditions in Disney Land Paris are so dystopian that the workers there famously came to nickname the resort, “Mousewitz.” When management discovered what their workers had nicknamed “the happiest place on earth” they threatened to fire any employee caught using the term, “Mousewitz.” So eveyrone started calling it “Duckau.” Apparently, Disney World in Florida isn’t any better.

Click image to view source

Keep that in mind when you watch the movie, “Tomorrowland,” particularly at the climax of the plot, when the villain and leader of Tomorrowland (played by Hugh Laurie), gives the following speech:

“Let’s imagine, if you glimpsed the future and were frightened by what you saw, what would you do with that information? You would go to politicians, captains of industry? And how would you convince them? With data, facts? Good luck. The only facts they won’t challenge are the ones that keep the wheels greased and the dollars rolling in. But what if there was a way of skipping the middle man and putting the critical news directly into everyone’s head?

The probability of widespread annihilation kept going up. The only way to stop it was to show it, to scare people straight, because what reasonable human being wouldn’t be galvanized by the potential destruction of everything they’ve ever known or loved? To save civilization I would show its collapse, but how do you think this information was received? How do you think people responded to the prospect of imminent doom?

They gobbled it up like a chocolate éclair. They didn’t fear their demise. They repackaged it to be enjoyed as video games, as TV shows, books, movies. The entire world wholeheartedly embraced the apocalypse and sprinted towards it with gleeful abandon. Meanwhile your Earth was crumbling all around you. You’ve got simultaneous epidemics of obesity and starvation. Explain that one. Bees and butterflies start to disappear, the glaciers melt, algae blooms.

All around you the coal mine canaries are dropping dead, and you won’t take the hint. In every moment there is the possibility of a better future, but you people won’t believe it, and because you won’t believe it you won’t do what is necessary to make it a reality. So you dwell on this terrible future, and you resign yourselves to it for one reason, because that future does not ask anything of you today. So yes, I saw the iceberg and warned the Titanic, but you steered towards it anyway, because you want to sink. You gave up. That’s nobody’s fault but your own.”

Double_facepalm

I literally double facepalmed when I heard this speech, because the dystopian working conditions at Disney ‘s theme parks is a microcosm of the United States. America claims to be the greatest country in the world, the happiest place on Earth. It claims that everyone has the power to make their dreams come true, but nearly half of all Americans have less than $500 in savings, and that’s not because they’re all irresponsible. The way the economy is designed, everything is as expensive as possible, and jobs pay as little as possible. You can’t afford rent on a minimum wage salary in any state in America. American workers get the least time off of any first world country, and healthcare in America is more expensive than anywhere else. At least America has cheap food, but that’s only because the food is unhealthy processed crap, and the agriculture industry is built on slave labor from third world countries (which is why there are simultaneous epidemics of obesity and starvation). Life in America may be dire, but people in third world countries have been living in the apocalypse their entire lives.

The world didn’t get this way on accident. Corporations, like Disney, made the world this way so that workers wouldn’t have any leverage or freedom to stand up for themselves or demand higher wages. And that’s why people love apocalypse stories, because they hate the system they live under. They can’t wait to see the gates of Mouswitz fall. They’d rather spend the rest of their lives fighting zombies than running the rat race to nowhere in corporate hell.

When Hugh Laurie gives that speech in Tomorrowland, he’s speaking to a global audience of powerless wage slaves who are living in fear and struggling just to survive. Most people can’t afford their own home or education much less to build a Utopian city. Telling the average person that it’s their fault the world is burning is blaming the victim.

What makes the speech even more absurd is the fact that Hugh Laurie is a millionaire, and in the movie he’s talking to George Clooney, who is also a millionaire. Granted, George Clooney has done some humanitarian things with some of his money, but he’s still sitting on enough money to build a small sustainable city where people can live and work free from fear and indignity.

It cost $190 million to make the movie, Tomorrowland. That’s more than enough to build an experimental prototype community of tomorrow. Much like the fictional leaders of Tomorrowland, Disney has the resources to begin saving the world, but it won’t use it for the public good. Instead, it uses that money to mass produce cheap junk destined to pollute the earth and idiotic media that is dumbing down the population and placating them while they sit in their suburban prisons waiting for the rich to stop running the world like a consumer concentration camp and devote their resources to building sustainable infrastructure.

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