They’re giving away free super powers at the library.

Everyone has wished they had a super power like the ability to fly or run super fast, but super powers don’t exist. There’s no hope of finding radioactive ooze or a magical totem that will imbue you with the ability to do anything out of the ordinary other than maybe get cancer.  We’re going to die in the same bodies we were born in, and that’s it.

However, there’s more than one way to skin a cat. You don’t need magic or fantasy to get super powers. I hate to sound this hokey, but you’ve got the best super power of all. You’ve got the super power that unlocks all the other super powers. You’re like Peter Petrelli from “Heroes.”

You’re a human, right? And you wish you could fly? Humans have already made flight possible. Do you want X-ray vision? Humans have already created X-ray machines that can do that. Do you want to breath under water? We figured that one out too, and scuba divers have been doing it for years. We can see all the way to the moon. We can shoot bullets out of our hands. We’ve got friggin lasers.

If you want a super power, don’t go looking for mythical beings to give it to you. Go ask a really smart person who thinks a lot. Then they’ll study the actual  universe we live in and reverse engineer a way to have that super power out of what we’ve got. Think about it. All the technological super powers we have came from the same source: people studying the way things work and thinking about it. Point in fact, that’s where you got the super power to not have to live in caves and shit in bushes. You take that for granted now, but that’s quite the super power you’ve got there. Your ancestors would be in awe of you anyway. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty for taking modern comforts for granted. Your ancestors are cheering for you. If you want to honor them, then show them their sacrifices weren’t in vain by living the dream.

This raises the question, what about you and your childhood dream to have a super power? When you got older you probably laid that dream to rest with other childish things… and for good reason. It’d be great if you could fly, but if you could fly it’d probably be fun at first, but after a few years, one way or the other, it’d either turn into your job or you’d be turned into an experiment. So you don’t spend your days wishing you could fly any more.

But there is something you wish you could do, and it’s probably not as exotic as being able to fly. You might wish you could give fantastic back massages. Or perhaps you wished you were like MacGuyver and could make anything out of anything or like Sherlock Holmes who could solve any puzzle. Maybe you just wish you had the ability to keep your car running. If I were a betting man I’d bet you wish you were more seductive… or at least less socially awkward. The point is, there’s something you wish you could do.

Well, whatever that is. You can do it…or at least the next best thing. There’s just one secret to unlocking every power-up in the universe: Study what’s going on around you, and think about it. If humans have been creating new super powers for themselves since prehistory then that sets a precedent for you personally. If you want to be able to do something new…you can do it if you put your mind to it…especially since now we have the super power to share information around the world instantly. So now,  more than in any other time in history, if you want a super power you can get it. If you want to learn karate and dress up in a turtle costume, you can arrange all of that in a couple of Goggle searches. You can even get a sidekick off of Craigslist.

Obviously, the internet isn’t a perfect super power, but the overall point is valid. I’m just trying to point out the magic mushroom in the room. I’m saying if there’s something you want to do but can’t then power up with knowledge or quit winching about it. Even if what you want is literally impossible, the point still remains, the only way you’ll ever be able to do anything different from what you’re getting bored doing right now is by studying  things around you and thinking. And you’re very capable of doing that. If you’re not doing that then I have no idea why because the door to super power-ville is wide open.

If you want to get stronger then learn and think, and be warned, the less you learn and think, the weaker you’ll be. If you don’t believe me, go talk to an idiot and see how hard their life is. Then go talk to Bill Gates and ask him how many super powers his house has.

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