Two Positive Ladies #1


 

Read the rest of the Two Conservative Ladies comics:

Script:

Comic # 1

Lady #1:I just don’t get it.

Lady #2:What’s that, dear?

Lady #1: The cops had to pacify the Occupy Wall Street protesters to maintain good order and discipline in the city limits, right?

Lady #2: We couldn’t have the kids running amok!

Lady #1:Well, if they wanted to pacify a big drum circle of hippies then why didn’t they just legalize weed?

Lady #2: No tears necessary.

Comic # 2

Lady #1: You pretend to be Obama, and I’ll pretend to be Romney.

Lady #2: Okay, I”m pretending.

Lady #1: If you elect me I promise to make it impossible to influence politicians through campaign donations.

Lady #2: I’ll do that, and I’ll fix everything that’s wrong with lobbying.

Lady #1: I’ll also require politicians to take competency exams!

Lady #2: And drug tests!

Comic # 3

Lady #1: I learned a new word today.

Lady #2: What’s that, dear?

Lady #1: Compromise.

Lady #2: It’s based on the idea that if both parties in a dispute give an inch they can often both take a mile.

Lady #1: Are you saying that the more you give, the more you get.

Lady #2: Yep. Let’s make a game out of it. I’ll make an offer. Then you make an offer.

Lady #1: Everybody wins!

Comic # 4

Lady #1: I’ve got this great idea that involves government vouchers!

Lady #2: Have vouchers ever worked on anything?

Lady #1: If you’ve got a better idea, let me know, but don’t tell me we’re back out!

Lady #2: !!!

Lady #1: Now that I’ve saved face I concede your point.

Comic # 5

Lady #1: I’ve got a plan to fix health care in America!

Lady #2: Does it address the fact that the source of all America’s health care woes trace back directly to insurance companies ripping everyone off?

Lady #1:No. It also addresses how ludicrously overpriced everything about getting a medical education is.

Lady #2: Tell me about it. I promise I won’t incorrectly call it communism.

Comic # 6

Lady #1: Did you hear about the new Olympic games that are going to be happening every four years?

Lady #2: No. Tell me about it, dear.

Lady #1: Well, every four years teams from around the world will converge on the worst city on earth and compete to build the most durable, sustainable infrastructure.

Lady #2: How did they come up with the idea for that?

Lady #1: Turns out it’s been on our list of things we should have done yesterday all along.

Comic # 7

Lady #1: You pretend to be Romney, and I’ll pretend to be Obama.

Lady #2: Okay. I’m pretending.

Lady #1: Before we go on any further I’d like to take this opportunity to return my Nobel Peace Prize.

Lady #2: Awkward.

Comic # 8

Lady #1: So let me see if I understand what your’e saying.

Lady #2: Unions are like politicians. They serve a useful purpose, and just because individual politicians can become corrupt that’s no reason to outlaw all politicians….because that’s just throwing the baby out with the bath water.

Lady #1: What else have you learned today?

Lady #2: That it’s amazing what you can learn when you listen.

Comic # 9

Lady #1: So…guns?

Lady #2: I’m not budging.

Lady #1: Okay, well. We’ll stick a tack in that and maybe come back to it later. We need to do something though. What issue would you like to talk about?

Lady #2: Before I go on I’d just like to say thank you for asking.

Comic # 10

Lady #1: I’ve decided that any harm legalizing gay marriage could do to the sanctity of my family life is far less than the harm dividing a nation and subjugating a minority group can do. There are bigger problems in the world that we can’t address unless we work together.

Lady #2: Any second thoughts on abortion?

Lady #1: Not today.


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