Two Positive Ladies #2

Read the rest of the Two Conservative Ladies comics:

Script

Comic # 1

Lady #1: I don’t want lazy people to be able to take advantage of welfare.

Lady #2: Nobody wants that, dear.

Lady #1: Well…good.

Comic # 2

Lady #1: The second amendment gives us the right to own guns so that civil war is always an option.

Lady #2: Okay. Well, while that’s technically true, all I’m saying is that maybe you should arm wrestle a Marine before you commit to meeting one on the battlefield.

Lady #1: *burb*

Lady #2: …and maybe lay off the chicken fingers.

Comic # 3

Lady #1: Can we at least agree that we need to cut wasteful spending?

Lady #2: Yes, dear.

Lady #1: Great. We’re finally getting somewhere.

Lady #2: Now, remind me again why we’re paying the Federal Reserve so much money.

Lady #1: Nobody knows.

Lady #2: Hmmm. Looks like we might not have to make all those drastic social service cuts afterall.

Comic # 4

Lady #1: Everything is really expensive.

Lady #2: Yep.

Lady #1: Poor people don’t get paid hardly anything.

Lady #2: Nope.

Lady #1: It must be damn near impossible for the poor to save money.

Lady #2: If we could fix that we wouldn’t be asking for such a high welfare budget.

Comic # 5

Lady #1: Are you smarter than the folks at M.I.T.?

Lady #2: Nope. Are you?

Lady #1: Nope.

Lady #2: Maybe we should just give the whole education budget to M.I.T. and see what they do with it.

Lady #1: They can’t screw things up worse than they already are.

Comic # 6

Lady #1: Wanna cut the defense budget?

Lady #2: Not if it’s going to cost troops their jobs and close bases.

Lady #1: Why don’t we just convert a few bases into civil service centers?

Lady #2: Hmmm. Maybe those “bases” could make a product and produce a profit.

Lady #1: They might even be able to put a little money back into the defense budget.

Comic # 7

Lady #1: So tell me more about how you want big government out of your life.

Lady #2: I’m just saying there are too many regulations strangling business. It’s like, just let me set up my lemonade stand and sell some damn lemonade! And don’t even get me started on taxes.

Lady #1: What if you just didn’t have to file anything until your small business made over $10k in one year?

Lady #2: Momma like.

Comic # 8

Lady #1: The liberal media needs an intervention about its bias.

Lady #2: The conservative media needs an intervention about its bias.

Lady #1: Maybe we can just agree that different programs cater to different audiences, and we shouldn’t be suprised when a company provides its customers with the product they want.

Lady #2: And I’ll promise to never shout if you promise too.

Lady #1: Let’s pinky swear on it.

Comic # 9

Lady #1: Please pay all my hospital bills while I don’t have a job.

Lady #2: For the last time, no.

Lady #1: Okay, well, how about instead of people buying useless insurance from private companies, they just buy good insurance from the government?

Lady #2: I don’t like it.

Lady #1: Then how about every insurance company has to be a non profit organization?

Lady #2: I don’t know.

Lady #1: Churches could get into the insurance business.

Comic # 10

Lady #1: I just think that if someone doesn’t just absolutely love America then they should leave for good!

Lady #2: Well then why don’t you make it as easy as possible to get residence in another country?

Lady #1: Isn’t it already pretty easy?

Lady #2: As easy as opening a Star Gate.


Feel free to leave a comment.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: