Two Positive Ladies #3

Read the rest of the Two Conservative Ladies comics:

Script:

Comic # 1

Lady #1 What’s the most important thing in the world?

Lady #2 The children, dear.

Lady #1 And who knows our children better than anyone else?

Lady #2 Their teachers.

Lady #1 Okay, now who do teachers say are limiting our children’s potential the most?

Lady #2 The parents.

Lady #1 The n it sounds like it’s time to talk about parent reform.

Comic # 2

Lady #1 I think we can all agree we hate Power Point presentations.

Lady #2 I hate neck ties, khaki pants and itchy suits too.

Lady #1 Why aren’t we all wearing pajamas to work?

Lady #2 I’m not necessarily saying I’d trade the right to vote for the right to wear pajamas to work, but…

Lady #1 …it’s important.

Lady #2 …it is.

Comic # 3

Lady #1 Why is buying a house so expensive?

Lady #2 Taxes and interest, I believe.

Lady #1 Why am I being taxed out the bum for the most basic necessity of human survival, and why can’t I just get a simple, low interest loan straight from the national treasury?

Lady #2 Because then you wouldn’t be giving all your money away and stimulating the economy?

Lady #1 I’d be giving my money to my government…and people who actually provide a tangible service to society.

Lady #2 If everyone had money then the demand for massages would go up.

Comic # 4

Lady #1 Most of my professors were psychopaths.

Lady #2 Most of the people I graduated with were, are and will always be complete lumps.

Lady #1 Maybe it’s time we come clean with the kids and that, while having an education is vital, having a university degree doesn’t make you a higher form of life.

Lady #2 But that’s the assumption we base our paychecks and our authority at work on!

Lady #1 I’m sorry. I no longer take joy out of screwing over the young.

Comic # 5

Lady #1 I’ve discovered the silver bullet to the education problem!

Lady #2 What is it, dear?

Lady #1 Free, online video-based schooling!

Lady #2 Oh, that’s not a silver bullet, dear.

Lady #1 …not even for kids who don’t have any access to quality education?

Lady #2 I guess it’d be the gun too then.

Comic # 6

Lady #1 I’m really worried about the illegal immigration problem. Aren’t they stealing our jobs?

Lady #2 They’re mostly doing jobs that are too inhumane to give to documented workers who are protected by the law.

Lady #1 But they want to stay forever and get paid social security, right?

Lady #2 Most of them want to go back home after the work is finished and be the families they left behind.

Lady #1 Then why don’t we just make it like really easy to get a temporary work visa?

Lady #2 Ohh. Then our police wouldn’t spend their days chasing fruit pickers.

Comic # 7

Lady #1 There’s too much traffic on the road. I need someone to find a solution to this problem.

Lady #2 I bet if you gave N.A.S.A. a trillion dollars they could come up with an outside the box solution.

Lady #1 Well…we were going to spend a trillion dollars on something.

Lady #2 Ooh. I hope we get the flying car.

Comic # 8

Lady #1 The more land one person owns the less land is left for everyone else.

Lady #2 There’s less supply than there is demand, yes.

Lady #1 So the more land one person is allowed to own the less land someone else will inevitably be able to afford.

Lady #2 That’s freedom.

Lady #1 Are the poor free to buy land?

Lady #2 …if they can save any money after being gouged for rent.

Lady #1 I feel like there’s room for improvement here.

Comic # 9

Lady #1 How’s the war on corruption going?

Lady #2 That doesn’t exist, dear.

Lady #1 Well write a letter to your congressman about it.

Lady #2 I did. I got back a meaningless form letter from an intern.

Lady #1 Curses.

Comic # 10

Lady #1 I just donated a lot of money to my political candidate, and he guaranteed he’d pass laws favorable to my business interests once he’s in office.

Lady #2 That’s bribery, dear.

Lady #1 Wait a minute…Isn’t democracy when you jump through a loop hole to pay for representation?

Lady #2 No dear, that’s called corruption.

Lady #1 *Gasp* I’ve been living a lie!


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