Two Positive Ladies #4

Read the rest of the Two Conservative Ladies comics:

Script:

Comic # 1

Lady #1 I gave you freedom of speech.

Lady #2 That was over 200 years ago, dear. What have you been doing lately?

Lady #1 …Spying on you.

Lady #2 Then lets not talk about how you gave me freedom of speech. Let’s talk about you spying on me.

Comic # 2

Lady #1 Is the war on drugs working?

Lady #2 For the 6,00000000000000th time, no. The war on drugs is a complete failure, and everyone agrees we should stop it.

Lady #1 Well…Let’s stop it then.

Lady #2 The prisoners will be so delighted.

Comic # 3

Lady #1 I don’t want to make the telephone call. I hate awkward conversations.

Lady #2 Well, someone has to tell the Food and Drug Administration to stop classifying poison as food.

Comic # 4

Lady #1 Screw it. From now on it’s legal to pee where ever.

Lady #2 …

Lady #1 I’m just saying, I can think of tons of pros and hardly any cons.

Comic # 5

Lady #1 I suppose it’s about time to make it legal for women to take their shirts off.

Lady #2 Funny, I thought frat houses would have rallied to end this insidious human rights issue ages ago.

Lady #1 I thought fathers would have wanted their daughters to have equal rights.

Lady #2 I’m actually a little surprised by everybody.

Comic # 6

Lady #1 Would you look at all these hungry, homeless people?

Lady #2 Why are they hungry?

Lady #1 They don’t have any food.

Lady #2 Why don’t they have any food?

Lady #1 Because they don’t have any jobs.

Lady #2 Maybe we should offer them jobs growing food.

Lady #1 Couldn’t hurt I suppose.

Comic # 7

Lady #1 Are kids spoiled for not wanting to work 40 hours a week at a job they hate?

Lady #2 My momma always said, “The moment you accept that you’re going to spend the rest of your life working at a job you hate is the moment you grow up.” I even remember the day the light in my soul blinked out.

Lady #1 That’s it. I’m declaring war on work sucking.

Lady #2 No reatreat! No surrender!

Comic # 8

Lady #1 Turns out everything I own was made in sweat shops.

Lady #2 The T.V. stays off until this is sorted.

Lady #1 But I’ve got a show I want to watch.

Lady #2 So do the people who made everything you own.

Comic # 9

Lady #1 Is it true that the Jews run Hollywood?

Lady #2 Why would you even ask that, dear?

Lady #1 I’m just trying to figure out who to blame for screwing up all the big movies that come out.

Comic # 10

Lady #1 You pretend to be Obama. I’ll pretend to be Romney.

Lady #2 Okay, I’m pretending.

Lady #1 Look over there. People are protesting.

Lady #2 Then let’s fix the problem they’re upset about.

Lady #1 Okay. Let’s go ask them what it is.


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