There’s no logical reason why masturbating would be bad in any way at all whatsoever. There’s no logical argument for why masturbating would even be icky or tacky. There’s nothing morally wrong or even morally questionable about masturbating. In fact, there’s a lot of good things to be said about masturbating.
The best thing about masturbating is that it’s physically and psychologically healthy. For some lonely men it’s the only exercise they get all day. It gets your heart rate up and circulates your blood while toning as many muscles as you’re willing to use. This little exercise is one of the world’s best stress relievers. Relieving your anxieties by “rubbing one out” improves your psychological state, whereas if you hadn’t masturbated and were still stressed out your body would be physically suffering under the weight of your bad mood. Stress is a vicious cycle, but it can be treated by enjoying yourself.
There are a lot of people out there who understand this and don’t have any moral qualms about masturbating, but they just don’t do it very often. That doesn’t seem logical. If someone offered you a free massage every day for the rest of your life you’d take them up on that offer and get your massages more often than not. Well? You can massage yourself, and when you massage your genitals it feels a lot better than getting your back massaged. Next to sex and hard drugs masturbating pretty much feels better than anything else you can do. That’s a seriously good time, and it’s free and almost always available.
But wait. There’s more. If you harness the power of your imagination and visualize having sex with someone while masturbating you can teleport your mind into a dream world where you’re fucking the person of your dreams. Everyone wants to fuck the person of their dreams. If you could go to Total Recall and have memories of you fucking the person of your dreams implanted into your head everyone would be doing it. But you don’t have to use scifi technology to alter your brain in order to have that experience. You can just imagine it. It works pretty well.
Regardless of how good your imagination is you can always just look at porn, and that’s a wonderful thing. There’s no logical argument for why porn is bad. There’s no logical justification for naked bodies to be taboo. You’d have to take porn to an extreme excess before it has negative consequences. Some people see porn as degrading, but I see it as a celebration of life. I think it’s nice to know that strangers are making a living by sharing their most intimate life experiences with the rest of the world to enjoy while they have a vulnerable, intimate moment with themselves. If you can’t see the beauty in people sharing themselves openly in their most vulnerable and personal life moments then you’re dead inside. I would go as far as to say that porn is a beautiful and profound art, and it would be a shameful waste if people didn’t appreciate it and masturbate to it.
You recognize beauty in the faces of the people you meet in real life. When you pass a sexually attractive person at the grocery store you get turned on, because your DNA is telling you to have sex with that person. But you can’t go around having sex with every supermodel you pass. However, you can watch the most wonderful, beautiful bodies in the world doing all the things most people will never have a chance to do. If you’re never going to get to have sex with a super model then why pass up the next best thing? There are super models waiting to share themselves with you. Shangri La is waiting for you. There’s no cost/benefit analysis to be done here. There’s just an obvious truth: You should masturbate. If you can involve pornography and/or someone else then so much the better.
You have time to masturbate every day at least after you wake up or before you go to sleep, and it only takes a couple of minutes. If you live with a significant other you can masturbate each other or masturbate together. If you don’t then you’re just passing up an intimate bonding moment….for what? What else do you have to do that’s better than feeling cosmic bliss? You’re wasting your life just sitting there not masturbating. Seize the day, man, because it seems like letting your life pass you by unlived would be a huge slap in the face to the God who gave us this opportunity. If there isn’t a God and that’s all the more reason to get on with enjoying life.
This isn’t rocket surgery. If there’s nothing wrong with masturbating and it’s great in so many ways then… why would you not masturbate?
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