Introduction to Sex Toys

This guide is written for people who have never been in a porn store or who have been to a porn store once and got freaked out by the dizzying selection of medieval looking instruments.

Sex Toys For Women

Dildos and Vibrators

Dildos are plastic penises that women put in their vagina because it feels good. Vibrators are dildos that vibrate, which also feels good. If you’re not sure which one to buy, get a vibrator, and just don’t turn it on when you want it to be a dildo.

Most sex toys (especially dildos and vibrators) are cheaply made mass produced junk. If you’re going to be using a tool to penetrate yourself and achieve physical pleasure, you want the best designed tool you can get. Ask the clerk at your sex toy store what their best products are, and be prepared to spend between $60-$140.

Dildos and vibrators come in an intimidating range of sizes and styles for two reasons: First, every vagina is different. One size does not fit all. Petite virgin women will need smaller vibrators than bigger, more sexually experienced women. If you’re not sure what size you need, start small and work your way up. If you’re a virgin or have never used a sex toy, you should definitely start small.

Another reason there are so many different kinds of vibrators is because different models are designed to pleasure women in different ways. Here’s a short list of the most popular types of vibrators:

Rabbit Vibrator

When a woman wants a real good, all-around orgasm she uses a rabbit. It’s sleek and it rotates and vibrates, which helps it ease itself into the vagina, and feels great when it’s in inside. All that internal writhing combined with external clitoral stimulation is a recipe for success.

Small Vibrators

Sometimes you want a full-bodied orgasm that hits every spot you’ve got, but oftentimes in life you don’t have the time, energy or privacy to go all out. Sometimes you’re on vacation, and you don’t want to carry a giant android penis around with you. Small vibrators are convenient to have sometimes. You can use them to stimulate your clit and penetrate your vagina. If you have two then you can do both at the same time.

Ladies, if you only use vibrators when you’re alone, you’re missing out on half their potential. If you’ve never been penetrated with a small vibrator while your love goes down on you, you’re missing out a cherishable life experience.

Large Vibrators

Sometimes women want a full-bodied orgasm. Sometimes they want a quickie. Sometimes they use a lot of penetration, and other times not so much. But sometimes, every once and a while a woman may have a passing craving to just get filled up to the breaking point of her sanity. She may not know or even want a man with an elephant trunk to service her. So for those occasions when a woman wants to lay in bed with an erotic novel and fantasize about a dirty, sweaty construction worker four times her size, she can dust off her biggest vibrator and play out that fantasy. Note: A very petite woman’s biggest vibrator may be a medium sized vibrator for a larger woman.

FYI: The biggest dildos
and vibrators are usually only bought as gag gifts.

G Spot Stimulators

Different vibrators stimulate different parts of the vagina in different ways, and they’re all worth exploring, but sometimes you want to masturbate with a tool that directly targets your two most sensitive pleasure spots: the clitoris and the G-spot. Lucky for you, they make vibrators that do that. In the case of the We-Vibe, you can even wear it comfortably while having sex. Now that’s a recipe for success.

 Clitoral Stimulators

Women use different amounts of penetration when they masturbate depending on their mood and fantasy, but most women can’t have orgasms through penetration alone. And most women can have an orgasm without any penetration at all, because the majority of a woman’s pleasure nerves are in her clitoris. That’s the red button that launches the atomic bombs. When a woman wants to be sure she has a quick, easy body shaking orgasm all she needs to do is stimulate that pleasure button, which is conveniently located outside of her vagina. Luckily, there are a lot of toys that do that. You could always use a vibrator to stimulate your clit, but the motor that moves a vibrator is in the handle, far away from the part of the toy making contact with the clit. There are other toys designed to provide more direct stimulation to the clit.

Egg

These are discreet and effective. They provide strong clitoral stimulation, and they usually come with a convenient handle that lets you adjust the speed so you can start out slow and gradually increase the speed. They’re a reliable go-to clit stimulator used by millions of women. Cheap ones tend to break quickly though.

Magic Wand

If you love your egg but want to take masturbating to the next level, you need a Hitachi wand. It’s powerful. It’s reliable, and it’s easy to use. The only downside is it’s not discreet, and it won’t fit in your purse.

Pocket Rocket

Pocket Rockets are a very popular choice for women who want clitoral stimulation but they want something small and discreet.  These fun toys are about the size and shape of a tube of lipstick, usually with a soft nub on the business end.  They don’t make a lot of noise, won’t break your wallet, and they are perfect for stimulating the clit.  This is a good starter toy for beginners.

Other Clit Stimulators

There are a lot of oddly shaped clit stimulators out there, and some of them look very fancy. If you judge them solely by their price tag, they may seem high quality, but at the end of the day, the value of a clit stimulator tends to be measured by how strong its motor is, and how directly it delivers vibrations to the clit. A $110 tiny toy that looks like it came from the future might not deliver as much pleasure as a motorized ball.

 Butterfly and Wearable Clit Stimulators

A hands-free device that stimulates the clit is the holy grail of sex toys. There are a few products on the market that have clit stimulators attached to straps or crotchless panties. They’re not bad, but if your body shape isn’t compatible with the product, the clitoral stimulator might not stay on your clit. Hopefully you can find a pair that work for you.

Nipple Clamps

To a white dressed virgin raised in the Bible Belt, nipple clamps may seem like something only a hard core BDSM dungeon lurker would buy, but consider that most women have sensitive nipples. It feels good when they’re played with. Nipple clamps can help most women with that. Plus, whatever naughty stigmas they may have just makes them all the more delightfully naughty to use. Just do some internet research on the proper use of nipple clamps.

Clit Cream

Porn stores sell different creams that are supposed to stimulate the clitoris. They all basically work like Icy Hot, which you should NOT use as a substitute. The cream makes your skin tingle, which is a sensation in and of itself, but your clit also becomes a little more sensitive for a while. Some girls find it overpowering. Some girls get a little more out of it. I’ve never met a girl who used it regularly, but I’m sure there’s someone out there…. Though I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to chemically overstimulate your clit on a regular basis.

 Sex Toys For Men

Pocket Pussy

99% of men masturbate. There’s a stigma against using toys because it’s seen as lonely and desperate by some people. For just a moment, stop caring about what people might think about what you do in private, and consider this: The more efficiently you stimulate your penis the better orgasms you’ll get. Given the choice, you’d usually rather feel the sensation of a pussy around your cock than your hand. There are a lot of good products that feel like real pussies and will take your masturbating to a higher level. Just be sure to spend the extra money on a good quality product. Clean your toy, and be aware that you can only fuck a piece of latex so many times before it wears out and needs to be replaced.

If you are going to buy a pocket pussy don’t waste your money on a piece of plastic.  It feels like you’re having sex with a beach ball. Spend the money on the squishy ones.  The Fleshlight is the most famous pocket pussy and for good reason.  Just remember to clean it after use, dry it, and dust it with baby powder to keep it in top form.

Cock Rings

Cock rings are simple plastic bands that you stick both your dick and balls through so that the ring hugs the base of your cock against your abdomen and behind your balls. This gives you a bigger erection for longer by limiting blood flow away from your penis. It’s a helpful cure for whiskey dick, but if you cut off blood flow to a body part for more than 4 hours gangrene will set in. Research proper us of cock rings, and use them with caution.

Clitoral Stimulating Cock Rings

There’s another flavor of cock rings that doesn’t go behind your balls. You can spot them because they look more like a large ring than a bracelet. They’re usually made of stretchy plastic, and they have a big vibrating clitoral stimulator on the top. This kind of cock ring slips onto your penis like putting a ring on it. If you try to put it on behind your balls you’re going to cut off all circulation to your genitals, and that’s bad. Slide it down to the base of your shaft and then turn it on. In theory, while wearing this device you’ll be able to have PIV sex with a woman and stimulate her clit at the same time. The problem is the cock ring only stimulates her clit when you’re pressed all the way against her, which makes it useless for doggy style sex and only slightly useful for missionary position sex. It works best in the cowgirl position. It’s a fun novelty, but it’s not a must-have for every toy drawer.

Penis Pumps

In theory penis pumps are supposed to make your dick bigger by stretching it out. Some people say it works. Some people say it just bursts blood vessels. Don’t buy a penis pump on the recommendation of a random stranger on the internet. Buy one based on the recommendation of your doctor. Just know that your doctor would probably not recommend you using a penis pump.

Erection Pills

You can’t buy Viagra at a sex toy store, but you can buy “penis enhancement pills.” They take about 45 minutes to take effect and give you as big of an erection as you’re capable of having for a few hours. You’ll also be able to orgasm multiple times in quick succession without losing your erection. Then, for the next few days you’ll get big, longer lasting erections more easily. These pills work as advertised, but they’re very hard on your heart. The packages even say not to take more than one pill every 3-6 days. I doubt many doctors would suggest ever taking these pills. If you do use them, consider taking 1/4th or ½ a pill. And don’t use them if you have health problems, especially heart problems.

Prostate Massagers

Men have a prostate gland inside their body that can be stimulated through anal penetration. It’s basically the male G-spot. Men who are interested in anal play but have reservations about what they’re willing to put inside of them should look into prostate stimulators. If you’re going to be shoving something up your ass, it may as well be scientifically designed to target the one place you need stimulated most without stretching you out like a prison rape victim. Throw caution to the wind and buy a slim, high quality prostate stimulator and you will be rewarded with sinfully intense orgasms.

Condoms

Condoms are like cheese and windshield wipers; if you buy the cheap stuff you’re going to get a cheap product.  Spend the extra few dollars on good condoms, not the stuff you get out of a vending machine in the bathroom of a bowling alley.  Two dollars is a small price compared to the cost of a baby or venereal disease.

Even among higher priced condoms there are still a lot of options, but most of those options are hokey novelties. Glow in the dark condoms are juvenile. Ribbed condoms aren’t very popular with the ladies. Flavored condoms are considerate to use when receiving safe oral sex. The safest bet is to just go with extra-lubricated condoms. When you’re getting frisky with a woman and you have to stop to struggle to put on a condom, if you have a hard time getting your covered penis back in her vagina you could lose your erection, which can lead to frustration, shame and anxiety. Extra lubricated condoms give you a little extra insurance that won’t happen, and they give your sexual partner little extra insurance that they won’t get rubbed raw by a dry condom.

The most pleasurable (and most expensive) condoms for men and women are called lamb skin condoms. However, they don’t protect against AIDS. So only use them with a committed partner who you know doesn’t have an STD (at least, not one that you don’t already have).

Sex Toys for Men and Women

Butt Plugs

If you’re new to anal sex, you may be intimidated by the anal isle at your local sex toy store. Books could be written about all the different kind of anal toys there are out there, but for starters you only need to know about one: butt plugs. Whether you’re exploring anal play alone or with a partner, butt plugs are safe, enjoyable tools to stimulate yourself with or loosen up someone’s back door to prepare them for anal sex.  Experienced anal sex aficionados will usually start with a small butt plug and gradually put larger ones in to loosen up the anus for anal sex.  Most porn stars do this behind the scenes of movies before a shoot.

Do not ever stick a regular vibrator up your ass! Butt plugs and anal stimulators are designed with a wide base so the toys can’t get accidentally sucked into your rectum.  A regular vibrator does not have that fail safe.

Vanilla Toys

Porn stores carry a useful selection of vanilla sex gear that anyone can use to add a little spice to their sex life like games, restraints, oils, edibles, and other stuff. If you’re too nervous to buy anything else the first time you go to a sex store, pick up one of these vanilla accessories.

Lubricants

If nothing else, buy some lube.  It’s not just for anal sex. So, what’s the best personal lubricant available? Well, the answer is going to depend on you and your partners likes and dislikes with lube. There are literally thousands of options available and you will want to visit a site like Lubricant Reviews in order to read about what options each lube offers. There are water-based lubes, silicone-based lubes, oil-based lubes, homemade lubes and anal lubes, each with their pros and cons. Sex can be complicated sometimes, and lube goes a long way to making the whole experience more enjoyable for both parties. It also goes a long way to prevent uncomfortable, problematic sex sessions, and ensures you won’t experience chaffing or dryness during sex.You probably won’t regret it.

BDSM Gear

Porn stores also sell a useful selection of tools like whips, masks, ropes, riding crops, paddles and gags that are designed to inflict pain and bind the recipients of their use into mental, emotional and physical submission. It’s understandable how that could look and sound bad, but submissive role playing can be a healthy, happy, nurturing experience when done correctly. If you don’t believe me, there’s plenty of BDSM literatureout there that is very interesting to read even if you decide BDSM just isn’t for you. Everyone should own a pair of fuzzy handcuffs.  Metal ones hurt.  If you don’t want a pair of handcuffs laying around the house sex tape is a comfortable alternative that can add some kink to your life without making you feel like a dominatrix.

Sex Cushions

Sex cushions take up a lot of shelf space. So smaller stores may not stock many if any of these. You can order them online though, and every sexually active couple should have one or two of these. Sex is two bodies banging together. Great sex is two bodies banging together from comfortable, sustainable positions that often guide the penis towards the G-spot. Sex cushions open up possibilities for to fuck in slightly better positions. That’s worth spending money on.

Lingerie

Sex toy stores tend to sell a lot of lingerie. Unfortunately, most of it is outlandish. If you’re looking for elegant, classy lingerie to wear for a lover, go to Victoria’s Secret. Go clothing shopping at a porn store if you’re looking for something naughtier or you want a role playing costume like a naughty nurse or school girl.

 If you liked this blog you may like these:

Sex Positions and Techniques

Dating and Relationships

Philosophy of Sexuality


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