Tips on Impressing Men

All men are different, and every individual man changes over time, which means it’s impossible to make universal generalizations about men. However, if you want to impress them, you need to have some kind of understanding of how they think and behave. This guide is a starting point, and it makes a lot of generalizations. Take them with a grain of salt, and pay attention to the man you’re trying to impress to figure out his specific wants.

Reading this guide, you may find yourself thinking, “Hey, a lot of these points talk about how hard it is to be a man. Well, it’s just as hard, if not harder to be a woman. So shouldn’t men be following the same advice in how they treat women?” The answer to that question is, yes, and women’s issues are just as important as men’s. But this is an essay about how women can impress men. So that’s what it focuses on.

Don’t Hunt Wolves With Spider Webs

Men and women have slightly different strengths, weaknesses, thought processes, and social expectations. So they have slightly different perspectives on dating, and they approach the topic from different angles. For example, all a woman has to do to get laid is walk into a room full of men, take her shirt off and say, “Who wants to screw me?” Even if you just wear a sexy dress that shows off a tasteful amount of cleavage, you can just walk into a party and stand next to the punch bowl and wait for the most confident single man in the room to approach you. Because women have such a biological advantage over men in the dating scene, a woman who takes advantage of her power and proactively chases men will inevitably labeled a slut (more likely by other jealous women than by condescending men). For that and other social and biological reasons, women tend to be more passive than men in how get dates. They tend to hunt like spiders, setting out tempting bait and luring a man into their lair.

On the other hand, society raises men on love stories that teach them they’re supposed to be big, strong, handsome, confident, successful, knights in shining armor who are on a quest to impress the prettiest, sweetest girl in all the land by accomplishing impressive feats. At the same time, evolution has programmed men’s brains to hunt like wolves, constantly out on the prowl, tracking down women, cornering them and taking them down.

The best way to catch a wolf isn’t with a spider web. When women passively stand around looking pretty, hoping a guy will sweep her off her feet, she makes Mr. Right have to go farther out of his way and take more risks to find and win the girl of his dreams. Why make a crusading wolf’s job harder when crusading wolfs are actually pretty simple and straightforward creatures?

Men are trying to hunt you down anyway, and when they finally corner you, they’re going to try to impress you with their feats of strength. Instead of making men have to track you down and corner you before they start telling you about their self and trying to show off, you can just go to a place where the kind of men you’re interested hang out. Then look for a man who interests you, and introduce yourself to him. Lay the opportunity for him to impress you at his feet on a silver platter.

You don’t have to be super witty. You don’t have to use pick up lines. That’s what he’s been trained his whole life to do. Just tell him he seems interesting, and if he’d like to do something with you sometime, the offer is open. Don’t drop hints. Don’t talk around what you’re really trying to say. Don’t play mind games, because that’s not how men’s brains work. If you do that, you’ll be speaking in a language he doesn’t understand. He thinks and speaks straight forward and with concrete goals in mind. If you’re just honest and open with a man, he’ll probably be relieved that he doesn’t have to jump through hoops and dance like a monkey for you.

If a man recoils from your frankness, he’s probably not Mr. Right anyway. The goal in dating isn’t to impress every man you meet. The goal is to impress the most compatible man you meet, and Mr. Right will immediately recognize your beauty when you’re honest and open with him. Mr. Wrong will tell you that you’re flawed and undesirable when you show your true self to him. Don’t believe Mr. Wrong when he tells you that. Instead, thank him for letting you know so quickly that chasing after him would be a waste of your time.

Successfully flirting with a guy and scoring a first date is the just the beginning of the dating process though. After that, you’re faced with the question of what kind of person you should be in order to keep a man interested and impressed in you. First and foremost you should be yourself. The point of finding Mr. Right is to improve your life. If you abandon all your own hopes, dreams, interests and habits to make someone else happy, you’ve defeated the purpose of bringing that person into your life.

You can go out of your way to make someone else happy while also making yourself happy. Relationships are a give and take, and they’re so rewarding, it’s usually a pleasure to give. The question is, what do men want? What makes them happy?

Evolutionary Psychology Is The Most Useful Way To Understand What Men Want

Men typically aren’t looking for a tall, dark and handsome woman to hold him in her strong arms at night and be a successful bread winner who his frenemies will be jealous of. What men are looking for is a woman who will be their caretaker and copilot through their lifelong quest to find themselves and provide for their family. The reason men are looking for that kind of woman, is because that’s the kind of woman who compliments the demands society places on men, and evolution has programmed men’s brains to understand this even if they don’t consciously understand it themselves.

Men and women’s entire bodies are filled with subtle differences, which optimize our gender-specific role in reproduction. Everyone’s brain is hardwired with instincts that subconsciously manipulate our decision making process into doing things that will improve our chances of passing our genes on through an ideal mate. We’re not complete automatons, but we’re not completely free or unique either.

We’re all looking for the ideal mate, and even if we don’t have any idea what he or she looks like, the instinctual autopilot ghosts inside our heads do. They’re looking for a mate who can help us and our offspring climb Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

Think of the five stages of the Hierarchy of Needs as five fronts in man’s battle against the world. The more a woman can assist him in each of those battles, the more valuable and thus attractive of a life partner she’ll be… and the more he’ll want to fight for her.

The First Front: Survival Psychology

Life is a battle for survival. You can lose every other battle in life and keep going, but not the battle for survival. When you show a man that you can give birth to healthy babies and help him and his offspring survive and thrive, you give him a reason to want you in his life. He might not think in those terms, but the instinctual evolutionary ghosts inside his head do. He might even have inflexible reasons for staying single and childless, but if you send the right signals to the ghosts in his head, they’ll put rose colored glasses over his eyes. He might not change his entire life for you, but a part of him will be attracted to you.

Be attractive (in all 5 senses).

Evolution wants us to copulate with the healthiest mate in order to produce the healthiest offspring. So subconsciously we associate indicators of good health with attractiveness. Women are programmed to like big, strong, healthy men who are well groomed, smell nice and dress for success. Men are programmed to be attracted to women with toned skin, vibrant hair, a breast-hip-waist ratio of about 86-61-86 cm, who smell nice and have a soothing voice. Granted, that’s just the middle of the Bell Curve. There are men with fetishes for every conceivable body type, but statistically speaking, women have the highest chance of impressing the most amount of men by being healthy and fit.

You could argue that men should blindly accept women for who they are regardless of their body type, and there’s truth to that statement. There’s also truth to the statement that everyone should be striving to be healthy for their own sake anyway. It’s also true that an unhealthy lifestyle leads to health problems, and your problems become your family’s problems. If you choose to burden your family with unnecessary problems then you’re a liability to them. Men might not fully realize or care about that, but Mother Nature does, and she generally tries to steer men towards healthier members of the dating pool. That’s not petty. It’s practical. Even if it’s unfair, that’s life.

Be willing and eager to pleasure him sexually.

It’s the least profound thing in the world to say that men want to have sex. 99% of the male population masturbates because 99% of the male population is effectively addicted to sex. 99% of the male population is searching for a woman who wants to have sex with him. So, after looking sexy, the quickest, most effective way a woman can make a man more attracted to her is to have quality sex with him.

This doesn’t mean that men will automatically commit to and love a woman after she’s had sex with him. Nor does it mean that women should rush into having sex or let every guy they sleep with give them “ass to mouth.” Sex is a major life decision for a woman, and the decision belongs to her completely. She doesn’t owe her body to any man for any reason.

I’m just pointing out that sex is as important to men as success is to women, and if you give someone what they want then they’ll want to be around you more often. Men want sexual pleasure. So the more sexual pleasure you give them, the happier they’ll be, the more likely they’ll want to be around you and reciprocate the happiness you’ve given them.

The only way for couples to understand exactly what their partner’s sexual expectations are, is for them to communicate directly and openly. The more conversations couples have about their sexual expectations the more successfully they’ll be able to meet them on mutually agreeable terms.

If you have no idea how to please a man sexually, here are a few blogs that may help improve your sexual technique. Several of these blogs are directed towards men, but they’re useful to women too:

Help him succeed, and don’t hold him back.

Life is hard for men. They work their butts off and stress over taking care of their family. It’s a profound relief for a man to find a woman who not only acknowledges and respects the weight he’s under, but does whatever is in her power to help him succeed. The easier she makes his life, the more valuable of a mate she becomes. Women should be proactively plotting how to build up their man and help him succeed anyway, because when he succeeds, the family succeeds. A woman who complains about everything her man does/doesn’t do and won’t lift a finger to help him is just shooting her lover in the heart and herself in the foot.

The Second Front: Safety Psychology

Life isn’t lived when you’re constantly fighting for survival. A man is as grateful for woman who can foster a sense of safety and harmony in his life as a soldier is grateful for a bunker.

Be faithful.

There’s no point in a man fighting for a woman who is just going to leave him. When a woman does cheat on a man, it means everything he fought for was in vain. Not only did he lose, he lost because he was betrayed by the very person he was fighting for. Getting cheated on is one of the most humiliating, emasculating tragedies that could happen to a man. If you want another man, then leave the one you have first, because cheating is as cruel as kicking puppies.

Life is war, and war is a lonely, terrifying place when you can’t trust the soldier next to you. If you can though, your worries will be halved, and the two of you will experience an interpersonal bond that transcends all others.

Be there when he needs you.

Pampering a man too much makes a baby out of him and a slave out of you. However, men’s minds and bodies take a lot of hits and go through a lot of wear and tear. So they need regular preventative and corrective maintenance. Most of the time all he needs is a pat on the back, a kiss on the forehead, a hug and a compliment about his penis. As little positive feedback as men often get from life, a massage, blowjob or home cooked meal can feel like Christmas to a man. So it should come as no surprise that a man will climb a mountain to be with a woman who is there for him when he needs her.

Don’t be a gold digger.

Men work hard to provide for their family, and life is as expensive as it can be. Everything we buy costs as much as possible, and the more vital the product or service, the more overpriced it is. You have to go into a lifetime of debt just to get a college degree that opens entry level career doors, and most jobs pay as little as possible and offer as few benefits as possible. Mortgages are so overpriced that you have to go into another 30 years of debt to buy a house, and even if you can beat the system and save enough for retirement, all of your savings will be wiped out by astronomical health care bills in old age. Our entire economy is designed to make the rich richer by making the poor poorer.  This is the entire reason why so many people have to work as hard and as fast as they can for 40+ hours per week at jobs they hate making barely enough to survive- because workers are fighting a battle that they’ve been set up to fail.

The last thing a man needs in his life is a gold digger wasting the money he paid for in blood, setting him and his family back, making him work longer and harder just to keep up. Men are often happy to give away all their money to the woman they’re infatuated or in love with, but in the end, all the added stress that comes with supporting a wasteful spender will make a man frustrated, anxious and depressed. This will make him unpleasant to live with, and the relationship will probably end in flames.

Considering what a burden it is for a man to support a gold digger, imagine what a relief it is to a man to find out that his date isn’t a gold digger. Now, imagine how grateful he would be to find out that his date, not only isn’t a gold digger, but will actually spend money on him. Men never expect women to spend money on them. They expect to be expected to be women’s slaves. So when a woman spends money on a man, it’s like setting him free… unless he’s an ultra conservative, old fashioned good ole’ boy. Then he’d probably be offended that you broke his colloquial social customs.

The Third Front: Social Psychology

Impress his family and friends.

Everyone takes their relationships seriously. Women talk to their friends and family about the men in their life all the time, and the opinions of their inner circle holds a lot of sway. Men do the same thing. So if you want a guy to like you, it will only help if his friends and family like you.

Insecure girls may try to cause drama with their man’s family to turn him against them in order to keep him all for herself. This twisted plan is almost guaranteed to backfire. He may choose you over his family for a little while, but eventually he’s going to look around and wonder why he doesn’t have any friends anymore, and he’s going to realize you’re the problem. If you’re going around tearing families apart then you should be single until you get the therapy you obviously need.

Don’t lower a man’s rank in the social hierarchy.

Women are generally more turned on by men in authority than men are by women in authority, and women are more excited by the prospect of dating a popular/famous person than men are. Whether or not a woman raises a man’s social standing is usually a non-issue to him. Men are more concerned with what a woman can do for him behind closed doors. Having said that, there’s a limit to how big of a hit a man will take in his reputation for a woman. Basically, as long as you’re not an offensive, repulsive, stinky mutant you should be okay. So if you want to obsess over how you can go above and beyond to make a man attracted to you, don’t focus on how you can improve his reputation. Focus more on how you can make him smile and lower his stress level.

While most adult males aren’t too concerned with popularity, they are concerned with being respected by the people they regularly interact with. Losing the respect of their peers would devastate their sense of self-worth. There’s not much a woman can do to help a man gain the respect of his peers other than helping him succeed in life in general. Even if you could somehow talk a man’s friends into respecting him more, that’s not a woman’s job, and it’s not necessary anyway. All you have to do is not embarrass and emasculate him in front of people he respects. You’d think that would go without saying, but soon-to-be-single women do it every day.

The Fourth Front: Self-Esteem

Make him feel good and smile.

This is a simple yet powerful truth: Everyone wants to feel good. So we naturally gravitate towards people who make us smile, and we recoil from people who make us frown. The more you can make a man smile, the more reasons you give him to keep coming back to you. The less you make him smile, and the more you make him frown, the more reasons you give him to stay away from you. Just generally be a warm compassionate, good person, and your man will probably smile when he’s around you.

Boost his confidence.

A man who believes in himself will find a way to overcome any obstacle. A man who doesn’t believe in himself will find a way to screw up every opportunity. Confidence is one of the biggest prerequisites to success. So it should come as no surprise that women find confidence in a man so sexy.

What does come as a surprise is how many women will criticize, insult, and guilt-trip men for failing to live up to their expectations. When a woman lowers a man’s confidence, she reprograms his brain to fail more. When a woman compliments her man out of the blue, praises his success, and reassures him when he fails, she reprograms his brain to succeed more.

Not only is she designing a stronger man to take care of her and her offspring, she’s making him happier. A confident mind is a safe, enjoyable place to live. A self-loathing mind is a horrible place to live. If you give a man a reason to feel better about himself, you give him a reason to come back to you. If you give a man a reason to doubt himself, you give him a reason to recoil from you.

Show him you value and appreciate him.

It doesn’t cost anything to say, “You’re special. I care about you. I love you. I appreciate you. You mean the world to me.” When a man hears those words, it validates all the work he’s ever done in his entire life to get where he is today, and it validates all the work he’s put into impressing and catching the woman he’s with. It’s basically telling him, “You win.” Yes, men want to hear that, and they have little motivation to leave a woman who makes him feel like a winner.

You can tell your man you care about him by saying it with a blow job, a thoughtful gift, a look, or a kiss. How you express your love is limited only by your imagination, but if you never actually verbally articulate to a man in no uncertain terms that you care about him, he’ll eventually start feeling like a loser. He’ll feel empty and hurt inside and start thinking about leaving you for someone he can win with… which would be tragically ironic if you actually did care about him.

The Fifth Front: Self-Actualization

When all of life’s trials have been conquered, the only thing left to do is achieve self-actualization. This is the cherry on top of the love cake. If you can pass the fifth trial then you can connect with your lover on the deepest emotional, mental and spiritual levels.

Understand him.

In order to make a man happy, you have to fulfill his wants. You won’t know what he wants until you understand him. Learn everything you can about him until you know him so well you can predict his wants. But as you’re studying him, understand that you’re not just doing it so that you can be a better servant to him. Most men don’t want to spend the rest of their life with a servant. They want to spend the rest of their life with a woman who gets them.

Support his interests.

Most men are looking for a woman to devote their life to, but that doesn’t mean the only thing they want to do with the rest of their life is follow you around like a whipped slave, catering to your every need and obeying your every command. A man is his own person. He has his own goals and interests, and he takes great personal satisfaction out of pursuing his own path.

When a woman shows interest in a man’s hobbies, she shows interest in the man. When she supports the hobby, she supports the man. When she ignores his interests, she ignores him. When she tell him his interests are stupid and a waste of time, she tells him that he’s stupid and a waste of time. Thus, she tells him that it would be a stupid, waste of time to stay with her.

Don’t emasculate him.

Men should respect and support women’s femininity. Men should be patient with women’s differences, and compromise their own behavior to accommodate women’s foreign ways. At the very least, men should not urinate on the toilet seat, argue with women, get impatient when women cry, hang posters of Playboy bunnies in the living room, or expect women to love The Expendables as much as they do.

Every woman in the world can agree that it would be a criminal injustice for a man to force a woman to live exactly like a man. Yet it’s not uncommon for women to try to cut off men’s balls and force them to sit down to pee, hold their purse, hold in their farts, dress metro sexual, drive a pastel colored car, watch Lifetime movie marathons and never do or say anything remotely masculine. A lot of women see this as finding the perfect man and fixing him, like housebreaking a wild animal. In reality, it’s breaking a man down and killing him inside. It’s caging and torturing a noble stallion.

If you cage a man and try to turn him into something he’s not, he’ll look at the moon every night and dream of running away… as well he should. If you celebrate a man for what he is, and nurture his nature, he’ll look at your face every night and thank his lucky stars he found someone so accepting and supportive.

 If you liked this blog you may like these:

Sex Positions and Techniques

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