December 5, 2017

15 Clues Christianity Is Roman Mythology

By wise sloth

1: The Old Testament God is exclusively, murderously pro-Israel.

Before the New Testament, Yahweh used to have a deal with the nation of Israel; if they sacrificed animals to Him and obeyed His commandments, Yahweh would bless them. Then, through Jesus’s death, God expanded the offer of salvation to everyone. Christian apologists explain how a perfect being could change so drastically by saying He didn’t. He simply gave humanity as much truth as we could handle, and when we were ready, He gave us more.

This explanation is an oversimplification of what really happened in the Bible. God wasn’t just a little bit nicer to the Jews. They were the only people in the entire world He cared about at all, and He murdered hundreds of thousands of people all around the Middle East for standing between His master race and the expansion of their country. For thousands of years, Yahweh let the Jews loot and plunder the Middle East, taking as many women and children into slavery as God personally slaughtered in His wrath.

Between the Old and New Testament, Yahweh didn’t just change from loving the Jews to loving everyone. He changed from being exclusively, murderously pro-Israel, to being exclusively, murderously pro-Christian. In order to find a logical explanation for this change of policy, you have to dig a little deeper into history and the Bible, but the clues are there if you bother to look.

Genesis 15:18-20

On that day the Lord made a covenant with Abram and said, “To your descendants I give this land, from the Wadi of Egypt to the great river, the Euphrates— the land of the Kenites, Kenizzites, Kadmonites, Hittites, Perizzites, Rephaites, Amorites, Canaanites, Girgashites and Jebusites.”

Genesis 17:3-8

Abram fell facedown, and God said to him, “As for me, this is my covenant with you: You will be the father of many nations. No longer will you be called Abram; your name will be Abraham, for I have made you a father of many nations. I will make you very fruitful; I will make nations of you, and kings will come from you. I will establish my covenant as an everlasting covenant between me and you and your descendants after you for the generations to come, to be your God and the God of your descendants after you. The whole land of Canaan, where you now reside as a foreigner, I will give as an everlasting possession to you and your descendants after you; and I will be their God.”

Exodus 23:20-33

See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared. Pay attention to him and listen to what he says. Do not rebel against him; he will not forgive your rebellion, since my Name is in him. If you listen carefully to what he says and do all that I say, I will be an enemy to your enemies and will oppose those who oppose you. My angel will go ahead of you and bring you into the land of the Amorites, Hittites, Perizzites, Canaanites, Hivites and Jebusites, and I will wipe them out. Do not bow down before their gods or worship them or follow their practices. You must demolish them and break their sacred stones to pieces. Worship the Lord your God, and his blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you, and none will miscarry or be barren in your land. I will give you a full life span. I will send my terror ahead of you and throw into confusion every nation you encounter. I will make all your enemies turn their backs and run. I will send the hornet ahead of you to drive the Hivites, Canaanites and Hittites out of your way. But I will not drive them out in a single year, because the land would become desolate and the wild animals too numerous for you. Little by little I will drive them out before you, until you have increased enough to take possession of the land. I will establish your borders from the Red Sea to the Mediterranean Sea, and from the desert to the Euphrates River. I will give into your hands the people who live in the land, and you will drive them out before you. Do not make a covenant with them or with their gods. Do not let them live in your land or they will cause you to sin against me, because the worship of their gods will certainly be a snare to you.

Leviticus 20:22-24

Keep all my decrees and laws and follow them, so that the land where I am bringing you to live may not vomit you out. You must not live according to the customs of the nations I am going to drive out before you. Because they did all these things, I abhorred them. But I said to you, “You will possess their land; I will give it to you as an inheritance, a land flowing with milk and honey.” I am the Lord your God, who has set you apart from the nations.

1 Samuel 8:1-6

In the course of time, David defeated the Philistines and subdued them, and he took Metheg Ammah from the control of the Philistines. David also defeated the Moabites. He made them lie down on the ground and measured them off with a length of cord. Every two lengths of them were put to death, and the third length was allowed to live. So the Moabites became subject to David and brought him tribute. Moreover, David defeated Hadadezer son of Rehob, king of Zobah, when he went to restore his monument at the Euphrates River. David captured a thousand of his chariots, seven thousand charioteers and twenty thousand foot soldiers. He hamstrung all but a hundred of the chariot horses. When the Arameans of Damascus came to help Hadadezer king of Zobah, David struck down twenty-two thousand of them. He put garrisons in the Aramean kingdom of Damascus, and the Arameans became subject to him and brought tribute. The Lord gave David victory wherever he went.

Joshua 8:1-8, 24-27

Then the Lord said to Joshua, “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.Take the whole army with you, and go up and attack Ai. For I have delivered into your hands the king of Ai, his people, his city and his land.You shall do to Ai and its king as you did to Jericho and its king, except that you may carry off their plunder and livestock for yourselves. Set an ambush behind the city.” So Joshua and the whole army moved out to attack Ai. He chose thirty thousand of his best fighting men and sent them out at night with these orders: “Listen carefully. You are to set an ambush behind the city. Don’t go very far from it. All of you be on the alert. I and all those with me will advance on the city, and when the men come out against us, as they did before, we will flee from them. They will pursue us until we have lured them away from the city, for they will say, ‘They are running away from us as they did before.’ So when we flee from them, you are to rise up from ambush and take the city. The Lord your God will give it into your hand. When you have taken the city, set it on fire. Do what the Lord has commanded. See to it; you have my orders.” When Israel had finished killing all the men of Ai in the fields and in the wilderness where they had chased them, and when every one of them had been put to the sword, all the Israelites returned to Ai and killed those who were in it. Twelve thousand men and women fell that day—all the people of Ai. For Joshua did not draw back the hand that held out his javelin until he had destroyed all who lived in Ai. But Israel did carry off for themselves the livestock and plunder of this city, as the Lord had instructed Joshua.

Numbers 31:9-18

The Israelites captured the Midianite women and children and took all the Midianite herds, flocks and goods as plunder. They burned all the towns where the Midianites had settled, as well as all their camps. They took all the plunder and spoils, including the people and animals, and brought the captives, spoils and plunder to Moses and Eleazar the priest and the Israelite assembly at their camp on the plains of Moab, by the Jordan across from Jericho. Moses, Eleazar the priest and all the leaders of the community went to meet them outside the camp. Moses was angry with the officers of the army—the commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds—who returned from the battle. “Have you allowed all the women to live?” he asked them. “They were the ones who followed Balaam’s advice and enticed the Israelites to be unfaithful to the Lord in the Peor incident, so that a plague struck the Lord’s people. Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.

2: The Old Testament teaches nomadic, Bronze Age ethics. 

The Old Testament is full of archaic, unethical commandments that would be insane to follow today. It’s intellectually lazy to write-off these instructions as God simply speaking to the people of the time in a way they would understand until they were ready for the truth. I challenge you to listen to Exodus, Leviticus, and Deuteronomy on Youtube at full volume with all your Christian friends and family. Then try to explain what you just heard. As you do mental gymnastics to justify the barbarism in the Bible, ask yourself if there’s a more reasonable explanation for the disconnect between your values and the pre-Christian Jews.

God’s commandments in the Old Testament read like a tribal warlord just wrote down all the values and norms his primitive culture had been following since pre-history. If this is true, then God’s change of values in the New Testament will make perfect sense in relation to the rest of the clues I’m about to explain.

Deuteronomy 22: 13-30

If a man takes a wife and, after sleeping with her, dislikes her and slanders her and gives her a bad name, saying, “I married this woman, but when I approached her, I did not find proof of her virginity,” then the young woman’s father and mother shall bring to the town elders at the gate proof that she was a virgin. Her father will say to the elders, “I gave my daughter in marriage to this man, but he dislikes her. Now he has slandered her and said, ‘I did not find your daughter to be a virgin.’ But here is the proof of my daughter’s virginity.” Then her parents shall display the cloth before the elders of the town, and the elders shall take the man and punish him. They shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give them to the young woman’s father, because this man has given an Israelite virgin a bad name. She shall continue to be his wife; he must not divorce her as long as he lives. If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the young woman’s virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done an outrageous thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father’s house. You must purge the evil from among you. If a man is found sleeping with another man’s wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from Israel. If a man happens to meet in a town a virgin pledged to be married and he sleeps with her, you shall take both of them to the gate of that town and stone them to death—the young woman because she was in a town and did not scream for help, and the man because he violated another man’s wife. You must purge the evil from among you. But if out in the country a man happens to meet a young woman pledged to be married and rapes her, only the man who has done this shall die. Do nothing to the woman; she has committed no sin deserving death. This case is like that of someone who attacks and murders a neighbor, for the man found the young woman out in the country, and though the betrothed woman screamed, there was no one to rescue her. If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay her father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.

Leviticus 20:18

If a man has sexual relations with a woman during her monthly period,he has exposed the source of her flow, and she has also uncovered it. Both of them are to be cut off from their people.

Exodus 22:16

If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife. If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still pay the bride-price for virgins.

3: The Old Testament was written by Jewish theocrats and ended with the fall of Israel.

The books of the Old Testament were written by dozens of authors who edited the original books multiple times between roughly 1,400BC-50BC. Most of the authors are unknown, but we know they were literate and advocated the supremacy of the Jewish church and state, which means they were almost certainly members of the Jewish priestly ruling class. Many of the books in the Old Testament are simply chronologies of the reigns of Jewish kings. Coincidentally, new books stopped being added to the Old Testament at the same time Rome conquered Israel, destroyed Yahweh’s temple in Jerusalem, and dethroned the Jewish theocracy.

It’s extremely suspicious that the rise and fall of God’s involvement in the mortal realm follows the same arc as the rise and fall of a nation. A much more logical explanation is that the Old Testament is simply the manifesto and history of the Jewish nation, which like all primitive societies, projected their beliefs, customs, and values into their homegrown mythology.

4: The New Testament was written in Greek by Romans when Israel was at war with Rome.

Rome conquered Israel in 63BC. Afterwards, Jewish resistance fighters waged bloody guerrilla warfare against the occupying Roman army, and total war broke out between 66AD-136AD. The zealous Jewish soldiers were renowned for fighting to the death and refusing to accept Roman occupation despite having no hope of winning back their independence.

The New Testament was written between 44AD-96AD, towards the end of the 100 year war for Jewish independence, which the Jews lost. We don’t know who wrote the books of the New Testament, but we know they were written in Greek, the language used by the commoners of Rome.

If the new Testament is to be believed, we know Paul was a Roman citizen. Based on the values of the New Testament authors, which I’m about to elaborate on, it’s reasonable to assume all the authors of the New Testament were Romans. This means God stopped dictating His word through his chosen people and began dictating through citizens of the country that overthrew the only country He ever cared about. If the New Testament represents the will of the Romans, and not the will of God, it would explain the discrepancies between the Old and New Testaments better than the evolving-God theory Christians have traditionally used.

Acts 22:23-29

As they were shouting and throwing off their cloaks and flinging dust into the air, the commander ordered that Paul be taken into the barracks. He directed that he be flogged and interrogated in order to find out why the people were shouting at him like this. As they stretched him out to flog him, Paul said to the centurion standing there, “Is it legal for you to flog a Roman citizen who hasn’t even been found guilty?” When the centurion heard this, he went to the commander and reported it. “What are you going to do?” he asked. “This man is a Roman citizen.” The commander went to Paul and asked, “Tell me, are you a Roman citizen?” “Yes, I am,” he answered. Then the commander said, “I had to pay a lot of money for my citizenship.” “But I was born a citizen,” Paul replied. Those who were about to interrogate him withdrew immediately. The commander himself was alarmed when he realized that he had put Paul, a Roman citizen, in chains.

5: The New Testament is pro-Rome.

The first books of the New Testament were written in Greek around 60AD, supposedly by Paul, who was a native born Roman citizen. His letters were addressed to Christians living in Roman cities, not Jews living in Israel. Around 90 AD, the Gospels were written to tell the origin-story of Paul’s Christian religion. The origin-story portrays Roman citizens, rulers, and laws in a positive light.

After all the atrocities Rome committed against the Jewish people and their religion, no Jew would ever write anything nice about Romans. Yahweh Himself personally slaughtered entire nations in the Old Testament for lesser offenses. It’s completely out of character for Yahweh to be so pro-Roman in the New Testament until you consider that the New Testament was written by Romans. This explains why God’s message changed at the exact moment the nationality of the Bible’s authors changed.

Luke 20:20-26

Keeping a close watch on Jesus, the Jewish priests sent spies, who pretended to be sincere. They hoped to catch Jesus in something he said, so that they might hand him over to the power and authority of the governor. So the spies questioned him: “Teacher, we know that you speak and teach what is right, and that you do not show partiality but teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. Is it right for us to pay taxes to Caesar or not?” He saw through their duplicity and said to them, “Show me a denarius. Whose image and inscription are on it?” “Caesar’s,” they replied. He said to them, “Then give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.” They were unable to trap him in what he had said there in public. And astonished by his answer, they became silent.

Matthew 22:15-22

Then the Pharisees went out and laid plans to trap him in his words.They sent their disciples to him along with the Herodians. “Teacher,” they said, “we know that you are a man of integrity and that you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. You aren’t swayed by others, because you pay no attention to who they are. Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay the imperial tax to Caesar or not?” But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, “You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? Show me the coin used for paying the tax.” They brought him a denarius, and he asked them, “Whose image is this? And whose inscription?” “Caesar’s,” they replied. Then he said to them, “So give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.” When they heard this, they were amazed. So they left him and went away. 

Matthew 27:11-26, Mark 14:54-72, John 18:28-40,

Meanwhile Jesus stood before the governor, and the governor asked him, “Are you the king of the Jews?” “You have said so,” Jesus replied. When he was accused by the chief priests and the elders, he gave no answer. Then Pilate asked him, “Don’t you hear the testimony they are bringing against you?” But Jesus made no reply, not even to a single charge—to the great amazement of the governor. Now it was the governor’s custom at the festival to release a prisoner chosen by the crowd. At that time they had a well-known prisoner whose name was Jesus Barabbas. So when the crowd had gathered, Pilate asked them, “Which one do you want me to release to you: Jesus Barabbas, or Jesus who is called the Messiah?” For he knew it was out of self-interest that they had handed Jesus over to him. While Pilate was sitting on the judge’s seat, his wife sent him this message: “Don’t have anything to do with that innocent man, for I have suffered a great deal today in a dream because of him.” But the chief priests and the elders persuaded the crowd to ask for Barabbas and to have Jesus executed. “Which of the two do you want me to release to you?” asked the governor. “Barabbas,” they answered. “What shall I do, then, with Jesus who is called the Messiah?” Pilate asked. They all answered, “Crucify him!” “Why? What crime has he committed?” asked Pilate. But they shouted all the louder, “Crucify him!” When Pilate saw that he was getting nowhere, but that instead an uproar was starting, he took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd. “I am innocent of this man’s blood,” he said. “It is your responsibility!” All the people answered, “His blood is on us and on our children!” Then he released Barabbas to them. But he had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified.

Act 18:12-14

While Gallio was proconsul of Achaia, the Jews of Corinth made a united attack on Paul and brought him to the place of judgment. “This man,” they charged, “is persuading the people to worship God in ways contrary to the law.” Just as Paul was about to speak, Gallio said to them, “If you Jews were making a complaint about some misdemeanor or serious crime, it would be reasonable for me to listen to you. But since it involves questions about words and names and your own law—settle the matter yourselves. I will not be a judge of such things.” So he drove them off. Then the crowd there turned on Sosthenes the synagogue leader and beat him in front of the proconsul; and Gallio showed no concern whatever.

6: The New Testament speaks harshly against the Jewish theocracy.

The New Testament commands fealty to Caesar and casts Roman politicians as good guys while depicting Jewish priests as bad guys. The word “pharisees” is used about 80 times in the New Testament, always portraying them as greedy, selfish, murderous villains who don’t understand God’s teachings. Jesus even goes as far as saying God likes Roman tax collectors more than pharisees.

Jesus said he came to expand God’s social contract to include everyone, not just Jews. But he did more than that. God didn’t just go from loving Jewish leaders, tolerating Jewish people, and hating gentiles- to loving everyone. The God of the New Testament loves gentiles, tolerates Jews, and specifically, repeatedly despises the Jewish priest class. This vendetta seems petty for a god, but it makes perfect sense if the New Testament was written by Roman propagandists.

Luke 18: 9-14

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’ “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’ “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

Luke 20:9-19

Jesus went on to tell the people this parable: “A man planted a vineyard, rented it to some farmers and went away for a long time. At harvest time he sent a servant to the tenants so they would give him some of the fruit of the vineyard. But the tenants beat him and sent him away empty-handed. He sent another servant, but that one also they beat and treated shamefully and sent away empty-handed. He sent still a third, and they wounded him and threw him out. “Then the owner of the vineyard said, ‘What shall I do? I will send my son, whom I love; perhaps they will respect him.’ “But when the tenants saw him, they talked the matter over. ‘This is the heir,’ they said. ‘Let’s kill him, and the inheritance will be ours.’ So they threw him out of the vineyard and killed him. “What then will the owner of the vineyard do to them? He will come and kill those tenants and give the vineyard to others.” When the people heard this, they said, “God forbid!” Jesus looked directly at them and asked, “Then what is the meaning of that which is written: “‘The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone’? Everyone who falls on that stone will be broken to pieces; anyone on whom it falls will be crushed.” The teachers of the law and the chief priests looked for a way to arrest him immediately, because they knew he had spoken this parable against them. But they were afraid of the people. 

Matthew 22:34-45

Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” While the Pharisees were gathered together, Jesus asked them, “What do you think about the Messiah? Whose son is he?” “The son of David,” they replied. He said to them, “How is it then that David, speaking by the Spirit, calls him ‘Lord’? For he says, “‘The Lord said to my Lord: “Sit at my right hand until I put your enemies under your feet.”’ If then David calls him ‘Lord,’ how can he be his son?” No one could say a word in reply, and from that day on no one dared to ask him any more questions.

Luke 21:12

“But before all this, they will seize you and persecute you. They will hand you over to synagogues and put you in prison, and you will be brought before kings and governors, and all on account of my name.“

7: The New Testament speaks against the Jewish Temple.

Christians may remember how Jesus went to the Temple in Jerusalem and drove out the money changers there. Then, when Jesus died, the curtain in the Temple ripped in half. Anyone who has never read the Old Testament will fail appreciate the importance of the Temple or what Jesus did there. In 1 Kings 5-8, Solomon builds the Temple as a literal house on Earth for Yahweh to live in, where Jews could make animal sacrifices on a giant altar, and God could feast on the burning flesh. It’s also worth noting, the Temple was built using slave labor.

1 Kings 5:13-18

King Solomon conscripted laborers from all Israel—thirty thousand men. He sent them off to Lebanon in shifts of ten thousand a month, so that they spent one month in Lebanon and two months at home. Adoniramwas in charge of the forced labor. Solomon had seventy thousand carriers and eighty thousand stonecutters in the hills, as well as thirty-three hundred foremen who supervised the project and directed the workers. At the king’s command they removed from the quarry large blocks of high-grade stone to provide a foundation of dressed stone for the temple. The craftsmen of Solomon and Hiram and workers from Byblos cut and prepared the timber and stone for the building of the temple.

The Temple was the center of the Jewish religion, and since Israel was a theocracy, it was also the center of Jewish political power. It was the gateway to God and the most important landmark in Jewish culture. The inner sanctum of the Temple is even called, “The Holy of Holies.” This wasn’t just a big church. If the Old Testament was divinely inspired, the Temple was functionally the center of the universe. It was so important, that after the Assyrian army destroyed it in 587BC, the Jews rebuilt it. The Romans destroyed it again in 70AD, and now the only part left of it is the Western wall, or “The Wailing Wall,” as modern Jews have come to call it.

The Temple is mentioned in the New Testament  about 90 times, and the authors consistently contradict the Old Testament’s claims that God lives inside the Temple and demands blood sacrifices to appease Him. Even Jesus himself mocks the very the idea, flippantly pointing out how ridiculous it is that God would need a brick and mortar house. If Jesus is God, it’s very strange for Him to belittle that which used to be the most important thing in the world to Him.

Luke 21:5-6

Some of his disciples were remarking about how the temple was adorned with beautiful stones and with gifts dedicated to God. But Jesus said, “As for what you see here, the time will come when not one stone will be left on another; every one of them will be thrown down.”

John 2:13-22

When it was almost time for the Jewish Passover, Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple courts he found people selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. To those who sold doves he said, “Get these out of here! Stop turning my Father’s house into a market!” His disciples remembered that it is written: “Zeal for your house will consume me.” The Jews then responded to him, “What sign can you show us to prove your authority to do all this?” Jesus answered them, “Destroy this temple, and I will raise it again in three days.” They replied, “It has taken forty-six years to build this temple, and you are going to raise it in three days?” But the temple he had spoken of was his body. After he was raised from the dead, his disciples recalled what he had said. Then they believed the scripture and the words that Jesus had spoken.

1 Corinthians 3:16-17

Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.

Act 7: 44-50

“Our ancestors had the tabernacle of the covenant law with them in the wilderness. It had been made as God directed Moses, according to the pattern he had seen. After receiving the tabernacle, our ancestors under Joshua brought it with them when they took the land from the nations God drove out before them. It remained in the land until the time of David, who enjoyed God’s favor and asked that he might provide a dwelling place for the God of Jacob. But it was Solomon who built a house for him. “However, the Most High does not live in houses made by human hands.”

Luke 21:20

“When you see Jerusalem being surrounded by armies, you will know that its desolation is near. Then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains, let those in the city get out, and let those in the country not enter the city. For this is the time of punishment in fulfillment of all that has been written. How dreadful it will be in those days for pregnant women and nursing mothers! There will be great distress in the land and wrath against this people. They will fall by the sword and will be taken as prisoners to all the nations. Jerusalem will be trampled on by the Gentiles until the times of the Gentiles are fulfilled.”

8: The New Testament promotes cultural assimilation and denounces Jewish exceptionalism.

The Old Testament consistently commands Jews to treat foreigners as second-class citizens and not to practice the customs of other countries. It also repeatedly states God and His laws are perfect. The New Testament completely reverses this trend, consistently stressing the point that everyone is equal in God’s eyes and we should embrace foreigners as family… which is exactly how the Roman government needed the Jews to behave.

Ephesians 2:11-22

Therefore, remember that formerly you who are Gentiles by birth and called “uncircumcised” by those who call themselves “the circumcision” (which is done in the body by human hands)— remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace,and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit. Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.

John 4:4-21

When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?” Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” “Sir,” the woman said, “I can see that you are a prophet. Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.” “Woman,” Jesus replied, “believe me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”

Romans 2:28-29

A person is not a Jew who is one only outwardly, nor is circumcision merely outward and physical. No, a person is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is circumcision of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the written code. Such a person’s praise is not from other people, but from God.

9: The New Testament teaches urban pacifism.

After 100 years of bloody warfare against Jewish zealots, the Romans undoubtedly realized the source of the Jewish fighting spirit was it’s murderously xenophobic holy book. In order to subdue Israel, Rome either needed to kill every Jew or the book that inspired them to fight to the death for God and country. Coincidentally, in the New Testament, Yahweh comes to earth, orders Jews not to fight, glorifies the leaders of the Roman army occupying Israel, and specifically endorses paying taxes to Caesar.

Matthew 5:38-48

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

10: The New Testament approves of slavery, which was an important part of Roman culture.

If the Bible was divinely inspired, its laws would be above reproach. It’s self-evident that slavery is evil, but the Old and New Testament  both approve of it repeatedly. Why would the new-and-improved, all-perfect God of the New Testament still approve of slavery, while simultaneously commanding us to love our neighbors and act holy? The simplest answer is that God didn’t write the Old or New Testament. Primitive Middle Eastern tribal warlords projected their culture into the Old Testament, and Roman politicians projected theirs into the New Testament.

Ephesians 6:5

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ.

Colossians 3:22

Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.

1 Timothy 6:1-3

All who are under the yoke of slavery should consider their masters worthy of full respect, so that God’s name and our teaching may not be slandered. Those who have believing masters should not show them disrespect just because they are fellow believers. Instead, they should serve them even better because their masters are dear to them as fellow believers and are devoted to the welfare of their slaves. These are the things you are to teach and insist on. If anyone teaches otherwise and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, they are conceited and understand nothing. 

Titus 2:9-10

Teach slaves to be subject to their masters in everything, to try to please them, not to talk back to them, and not to steal from them, but to show that they can be fully trusted, so that in every way they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive.

1 Peter 2:18-25

Slaves, in reverent fear of God submit yourselves to your masters, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. For it is commendable if someone bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because they are conscious of God. But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.

11: The earliest historical mention of Jesus was written by a Roman.

The earliest mention of Jesus was written around 93AD by the Roman historian, Flavius Josephus in his history book, “Antiquities of the Jews.” Some historians suspect Josephus’s account of Jesus was written by multiple authors at different times, which would constitute a conspiracy to promote Christianity. Even if there was only one author, his wording is suspicious:

“About this time there lived Jesus, a wise man, if indeed one ought to call him a man.  For he was one who performed surprising deeds and was a teacher of such people as accept the truth gladly. He won over many Jews and many of the Greeks. He was the Messiah. And when, upon the accusation of the principal men among us, Pilate had condemned him to a cross, those who had  first come to love him did not cease.  He appeared to them spending a third day restored to life, for the prophets of God had foretold these things and a thousand other marvels about him.  And the tribe of the Christians, so called after him, has still to this day not disappeared.”

This is not objective historical reporting. Josephus is blatantly biased and presents impossible events as fact without evidence. Why would a Roman so blindly accept and promote the Christian agenda? There are only three possible explanations:

1: Yahweh really moved to Rome and became the God of the Hellenistic world in His march towards world domination.

2: Josephus was a lone scholar who converted to Christianity and lied in his history book to justify his belief.

3: Josephus was working with other Romans to spread a viral mythology they created.

12: Most of the New Testament takes place in the nation of Rome, not Israel.

For thousands of years, Yahweh’s sole obsession was the expansion of Israel, and His story was told by Jews living in Israel or trying to get back to it. Then, Yahweh completely abandons His homeland to spread a message of love and peace in the nation that conquered His homeland and destroyed His house.

Christians may argue God simply expanded His horizons, but even still, it seems suspiciously odd that God would completely lose interest in Israel and walk away from the home He spent thousands of years obsessing over and killing for. Does it make more sense that God went to Rome to project His will there, or the authors of the Bible came from Rome and projected their will into the Bible?

13: The Romans had a history of absorbing other religions and creating state religions.

Christianity has had such a huge impact on the world, it may seem outrageous to speculate it was the product of a Roman conspiracy to subdue a troublesome religion. The amount of work it would take to pull off a psychological warfare operation of that magnitude seems ludicrous… until you take into account that Rome did it all the time.

Roman culture absorbed the Greek religion and rewrote its gods to be Romans, and Roman emperors created their own religious doctrines giving them semi-divine authority… exactly like the office of the Pope, which was also a Roman invention used to elevate the status of its leaders after making Christianity the official imperial cult.

14: Romans canonized the New Testament and made it their state religion.

The idea that Romans invented the New Testament sounds even less absurd when you consider the fact that the New Testament was canonized entirely by Roman scholars. The first official cannon was created at the First Council of Nicea, which was presided over by the emperor of Rome.

In the same meeting where old white guys decided which viral Christian documents would be officially declared the true word of God, they also invented the customs of celebrating Jesus’ birth on the winter solstice and his resurrection on the spring solstice… which are the exact same astrological events Pagans used to determine the date of Eostre and Jews used for Passover. It’s also worth noting that Passover is the Jewish holiday that celebrates their salvation from the Egyptians by a man who wandered in the desert, controlled water, and made food appear out of nowhere.

Everyone knows Jesus’ birthday and deathday were forged to coincide with other holidays. Most Christians probably always assumed this lie was reverse engineered by a sneaky Pope somewhere around the medieval times, but now that you know it was established by the First Counsel of Nicea, why would you believe anything else they said in the same meeting?

It would be more accurate to ask, why would you believe a lie the first time you heard it but not the second? Jesus’s entire life and death are metaphors for the rotation of the Earth around the Sun. Jesus is called “the son.” He gives light and life to the world. When he went below the Earth, there was darkness, and when the sun rose again, life came back to the entire world.

Both the Pagan version of Easter and the Jewish Passover are celebrated when the rising spring sun brings salvation from the winter darkness. They’re all based on the same concept. You don’t have to be a genius or a conspiracy theorist to see the astrological symbolism. Though you’d have to be crazy to believe the people who lied about Christmas and Easter, weren’t also making stuff up when they included those astrological metaphors in the Gospels.

15: Israel was just the first country whose culture was wiped out by Christianity, by order of leaders in Rome.

If this still sounds crazy, consider that the Catholic church sent missionaries around the world to colonize foreign lands and convert native cultures to Christianity in a calculated effort to erase their values and literally make slaves out them. If we can believe the theocratic leaders in Rome would use Christianity to standardize control over diverse populations, why is it so hard to believe Israel was the first culture they used Christianity against?

The only question this leaves up in the air is, why did the Romans persecute and kill early Christians? First, most of the early killing was done by local authorities who weren’t in on the scam and saw Christians as a threat to their Pagan beliefs. It’s not like the highest leaders in Rome could or would let every colony leader in on all their secrets.

Second, between the destruction of the Jewish Temple in 70AD and the First Council of Nicea in 325AD, Rome went through 47 Emperors, most of whom were murdered by rival politicians. In that kind of environment, secrets and policies are bound to get lost and resurface.

Lastly, maybe the original leaders of the Christian theocracy were simply murdering Christians they viewed as heretics… exactly like the Holy Roman Empire in Medieval Germany (which was neither holy, Roman, nor and empire) did to Protestants.

You could say the Holy Roman Empire out-Roman-ed the Romans when it hijacked Roman mythology and used it to control central Europe. The idea was stolen again by the Church of England, the Church of France, the Mormon Church, and countless other opportunists. Ironically, it all began when a band of nomadic Middle Eastern warlords decided to invent mythological stories to unite the Twelve Tribes of Israel. History has repeated itself enough. It’s time to stop believing in our ancestors’ disingenuous mythologies, whether they come from the Middle East, Europe, or anywhere else.

If you enjoyed this post, you’ll also like these:

The Bible is mythology
Christianity is Harmful to Society
Preaching, witnessing and arguing with Christians
Christian Culture
My Tweets About Religion
This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 5th, 2017 at 3:31 pm and tagged with , , , , , , , and posted in The Bible is Mythology. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

2 responses to “15 Clues Christianity Is Roman Mythology”

  • Vince
    March 28th, 2020 at 5:36 pm

    Just had a read and plenty of things to argue about in here. Supposition and conjecture about Rome and Israel and sadly the arguments proposed are not credible or verified and have no citation or source work put in. In all – just some random opinions we should take in faith. Christianity opposed Emperor worship and had little in common with the Roman gods. Christianity was the fulfillment of the Law. You really need a course in theology – it would help understand how Christianity was born from Judaism and the connection between the two. Sorry but this is so bizarre anyone reading this – with a brain – should dump it and leave asap.

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  • Amy B Byrd
    December 8th, 2017 at 9:18 am

    Wow, just when I thought I’d learned everything Wise Sloth had to teach about religion, I find out there’s even more knowledge I knew nothing about. Great read, very enlightening.

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