Tweets by The Wise Sloth #10: Eating, Hydrating, Exercising, Stretching and Addiction

Cartoon image of a sloth sitting on a mountain top. He is wearing a yellow robe. His head is bowed with his eyes shut, and beams of light shine from around his head. With his left arm, he is holding one finger in the air. Above him are the words, "Tweets by The Wise Sloth."

It defeats the purpose of ingesting something if it has zero calories.

Your body is 60% water. You’re a walking waterfall. Everything your body does uses water. Drink water about every 2 hours or shrivel up and die.

The longer a food product takes to expire, the less often you should eat it.

You rarely hear people who eat right and exercise regularly, complain about chronic fatigue.

Just once I’d like to hear a politician talk about the need for grocery store reform because the system we got is creating obesity and poverty.

You are what you eat. If you eat processes food, you will become cancerous.

There are millions of people who have never eaten anything that didn’t come out of a bag or a box. #notmyutopia

In case you didn’t learn this in elementary school, the secret to long life is keeping all your organ systems healthy all the time.

Nowadays, every time I drink milk I wonder what percentage of the bouquet of flavors I’ve come to know and love is the taste of udder pus.

You are what you eat. In possibly unrelated news, you’re probably also going to die of cancer.

 

The reason you have unexplainable muscle pains is because you do the same things with your body every day.

Healthy habits aren’t a burden. They’re an opportunity.

In order to stay limber you have to move limber.

If you’re going to spend money on anything, buy good shoes and a good bed. You’ll spend half your life in one, and half in the other.

Exercising makes you sweat. Sweat removes toxins from your body. Not exercising keeps toxins in your body affecting mood, energy and health.

If you’ve never Googled, “How to take care of myself,” then don’t wonder why your life sucks.

The less you stretch and use your muscles, the more they’ll hurt.

Repetitive pains in peoples’ bodies are usually caused by their repetitive lifestyle.

The cure for lethargy is activity.

Not being able to see or think straight is your body’s way of telling you that you’re killing it with poison.

Typically, you can’t be drunk and working towards self actualization at the same time.

The less sober you are, the less focused on fulfilling the meaning of your life you are.

The less alcohol you drink, the better your body will feel when you’re sober.

When you drink and smoke to celebrate life you celebrate life by killing yourself and lowering your potential to make the most out of life.

You won’t find total peace in sobriety, but you will find far less peace in addiction.

Poisoning yourself constantly is a great way to weaken your immune system.

Chronic drug use is not a recipe for chronic stress relief. It’s a recipe for chronic cell death.

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