Tweets by The Wise Sloth #17: The 2016 U.S. Presidential Election

Cartoon image of a sloth sitting on a mountain top. He is wearing a yellow robe. His head is bowed with his eyes shut, and beams of light shine from around his head. With his left arm, he is holding one finger in the air. Above him are the words, "Tweets by The Wise Sloth."

THE PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES

Democracy is broken in America when the people have to pick between two presidential candidates nobody would have picked to be candidates.

It’s not an election if there are only two choices, both bad, but one so bad it would be insane to vote for them. That’s a bait and switch.

RNC & DNC’s job is to pick the best presidential candidates, and they pick the 2 most egotistical, unethical, divisive celebs. #youhadonejob

The government picked the two most polar opposite yet equally vile people for Americans to pick between for president, like they want riots.

How about the people pick presidential primary candidates, instead of the RNC & DNC, because they fucking suck at it.

It seems convenient that an unpalatable presidential nominee, who is depending on the female vote, is running against a cartoon misogynist.

I’d vote for a politician whose goal while in office is to make presidential nominees great again.

Imagine you were given the freedom to vote between a gorilla and the mean cheerleader for senior class president #2016election #notarealvote

Neither Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton can make America great again. Only the American people can do that.

In 2016 Americans are voting for which apocalypse they want. Your vote is a gun in your mouth. Protest by not voting. Don’t pull the trigger.

Donald Trump buys politicians, and Hillary Clinton sells her political power. Together they represent what’s wrong with campaign financing.

Any organization that selects Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump as its two favorite people has it priorities hopelessly screwed up.

Voting in America’s 2016 presidential election is tantamount to voting on whether America should go to war with Iran or Mexico.

The 2016 American presidential election isn’t a choice between the lesser of two evils. It’s a choice between two different flavors of evil.

It would have been a big moment in women’s history if Hillary Clinton became the first woman to steal an American presidential election.

THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL

You can’t become the leader of a democracy by buying, stacking or rigging an election, because then it’s not a democracy.

Life according to Conservatives: Blindly defending Democrats = sheep. Blindly defending Republicans = patriot. Not defending either = slacker.

With great power comes great accountability… unless you’re running for president of the United States. That comes with great immunity.

“Top Secret” means zero tolerance for fuck ups. If you’re not fit to handle TS info properly, you’re not fit to be the commander in chief.

Breaking rules a soldier would get an Article 15, demotion and loss of security clearance for disqualifies you from being commander in chief.

The more your political candidate blames the nation’s problems on a minority group, the more you should compare them to historical tyrants.

The more your leaders say you should be obedient to their ideology, the more you should question them.

News agencies still acting like the presidential election is legitimate and free, and aren’t demanding new candidates, are part of the problem.

TRUMP’S VICTORY

It’s worth noting that, while Trump got sworn in as president, thousands of Americans were reading my blog about how to go down on a girl.

We voted for the lesser of two evils, and got an evil swamp monster. OMG! How could this have happened?

To the extent I’m disappointed in America voting for Trump, I’m proud of them for not voting for Clinton.

I’ve been saying for a year Hillary would win because of corruption. Turns out the system is less corrupt and more stupid than I thought.

I suspected Donald Trump was nominated to scare people into voting for Hillary Clinton, but what if it was the other way around?

If Putin helped Trump win the election, it was probably more to help America fail than to help Trump succeed.

I told friends jokingly I would prefer a Trump presidency over Clinton because he’ll bring a quicker apocalypse. The joke isn’t as funny now America elected a joke for president. Now the joke is on the American people.

Nobody who is laughing on Trump’s inauguration day will be laughing 4 years from now, probably not even Trump.

Hillary Clinton telling all Americans to just go with Donald Trump’s flow proves she couldn’t care less about the American people.

Trumps promises in his acceptance speech would have been more reassuring if he didn’t speak like a confused, semi-literate child.

The smile on Hillary Clinton’s face during her concession speech to Trump demonstrates her mastery of the art of lying in public with a straight face.

If you still trust American news stations after the 2016 POTUS election, your standards of journalistic ethics are catastrophically low.

Few politicians still support Trump. Less support fixing how/why the candidate selection process is designed to nominate deplorable people.

OBAMA’S EXIT

Some people really liked Joe Biden. Other people really like having the most qualified citizens in the highest offices of government.

In retrospect, Joe Biden was a metaphor for Barack Obama.

Obama acting nonchalant about the first black president handing over power to a mentally unstable bigot, demonstrates his mastery of lying.

Obama was probably happy Trump won. Nothing would make Obama’s presidency look better than being next to Trump’s in the history books.

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