Category Archives: Government and Politics

My theory on why Fox News acts so biased and evil

I recently posted a blog titled “My theory on just about every conspiracy theory,” which was twelve pages long. So I doubt many people read the whole thing. Towards the bottom of the list was my  explanation of why Fox News is so crazy. The section is important enough that I decided to post it again here as a stand-alone blog.

The majority of  conservative Americans get most of their news from Fox News, which claims to be fair and balanced, yet is bombastically pro-conservative, pro-Republican, pro-Capitalism and pro-American. It’s equally anti-liberal, anti-Democrat, anti-economic equality, anti-science and anti-immigrants. Fox’s news segments contain slander, logical fallacies, misdirection, false-flag scares, emotional hype, misdirection and lies. This doesn’t happen because Fox is full of amateur journalists. Bullshit is the product Fox sells, and it has bullshit broken down to a science.

Fox news is so consistent in its agenda and dishonesty, it looks like there’ s a conspiracy among its leaders to create a civil war between conservative Republicans and liberal Democrats. It makes you wonder what’s really going on, and what’s the mastermind’s end game? The truth is easy to deduce if you look at the history of its founders Rupert Murdoch and Roger Ailes.

Rupert Murdoch was born in Australia in 1931. He inherited a fortune from his father and spent the 1950’s and 60’s buying up tabloid newspapers in Australia, which he consolidated under a parent company, News Corp. In the early 70’s, he bought up the major tabloids in Britain and the United States, adding them to News Corp. roster of sensationalist, fake news magazines. News Corp. was convicted of criminal charges for corruption, hacking and stealing in all three countries.

Roger Ailes was born in America in 1940. He started as a production assistant at a local news station in Ohio, where he was promoted several times, earning him the credentials to produce a daytime television talk show. In 1968, Ailes became a professional political campaign manager. He managed Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan’s presidential campaigns, and he advised George H. Bush, George W. Bush and Donald Trump.

So Fox News was founded by an international tabloid kingpin who sells lies for a living, and the public relations manager of the Republican Party. When you put them together, you get sensationalist Republican propaganda with the journalistic integrity of a tabloid.

Basically, these two men pulled off a plan to create a television network that indoctrinates its viewers into basing their identity and beliefs on the Republican Party’s political agenda. This is corruption and treason at the highest level. It created a fake culture war that real people have died in. It’s driving the country to the brink of civil war. It orchestrated the launch of the longest war in America’s history. It’s the source of the war on science, which could destroy humanity, and it got Donald Trump elected president.

Why the hell would two men do that? Are they trying to destroy the world? No. They’re just businessmen doing what they do. Rupert Murdoch wanted to sell newspapers and TV shows, and Roger Ailes wanted to produce TV shows. By teaming up with the Republican Party, Murdoch and Ailes got loyal customers, and the Republican Party got loyal voters. They all got a lot richer, and that’s what it’s all about.

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My theory on just about every conspiracy theory

Aliens


The universe is too large for there to not be other life forms. However, it’s also too large for aliens to receive radio transmission from Earth, let alone visit us without spaceships capable of faster than light travel. The chances of aliens knowing Earth exists is slim but not impossible. Until we have more definitive proof, there’s no reason to believe aliens have been near Earth.

I’m 99.9% certain aliens have never set foot on our planet, because if they had, we all would have died from the space flu, and they would have died from the human flu. For this reason, I expect we’ll never be allowed to land on other planets inhabited by intelligent life, and they will never want to land on ours.

UFOs


There’s a good chance alien spacecraft have flown by Earth. I want to believe they’ve been captured on film, and I’ve seen some pretty crazy videos of UFOs, but until aliens make contact with us, the simplest explanation of UFOs is, they’re man-made.

Consider that the SR-71 Blackbird was invented in 1964 and wasn’t declassified until 1980. The F-117 Nighthawk was invented in 1975 and wasn’t declassified until 1989. So for decades, sky watchers could see strange shaped aircraft traveling faster than any aircraft known to the public.

It’s fair to assume that in any given year, the U.S. Air Force currently has classified aircraft technology 20 years ahead of what the public knows about. If I were in charge of keeping these aircraft secret, I would spread rumors they’re alien spacecraft to deflect attention from the truth.

Area 51


Area 51 is a real Air Force base located in a remote, deserted part of Nevada. Many strange aircraft have been seen in the skies nearby, and there are widespread rumors that it does, or did, contain the wreckage of an alien spacecraft and the bodies of its extraterrestrial passengers.

Some locals living near Aviano Air Force Base, Italy also believe the Air Force is hiding the body of a dead alien in an underground bunker there too. I was stationed at Aviano for two years with a top secret security clearance. I can assure you, life on base is normal and mundane. My guess is that a work day in Area 51 is closer to my experiences than the way Hollywood portrays it.

Since we know man-made aircraft, 20 years more technologically advanced than commercial airplanes, like the SR-71 Blackbird, are tested at Area 51, there’s a common sense explanation for why people keep seeing UFOs around there. I’m sure whatever is in Area 51 is mind blowing, but I doubt it has anything to do with aliens.

The Illuminati


The Illuminati was a real secret society in Germany during the 17th century that included royalty and other celebrities of the time. Their goal was to, “oppose superstition, obscurantism, religious influence over public life and abuses of state power.” Basically, they were humanitarian intellectuals committed to promoting truth and empowering the masses.

Conspiracy theorists believe this group still exists, but now they want to take over the world and oppress everyone. There’s no evidence this is true. So it would be stupid to take it seriously.

The Freemasons


The Masonic Lodge was originally a fraternal brotherhood in Europe dating back to the 14th century. It was partly a social club and partly a union for mason workers. It spread to America in the 17th century, where its members included many famous politicians and leaders of industry.

Conspiracy theorists believe it still has members at the highest level of government who worship Satan and want to control and oppress the world. You can still find Masonic Lodges operating all over America today, but they’re just a slightly more cultish version of the Rotary Club or Kiwanis Club. They’re basically Cub Scouts for grown-ups. You can join their silly meet-up group and climb the ranks, but you won’t find a secret conspiracy at the top of the pyramid. You’ll just find a bunch of suburban Christians having boring meetings.

Reptilians


Former sports broadcaster, turned professional conspiracy theorist, David Icke, popularized the idea that the world is controlled by shape-shifting aliens called Reptilians. There’s no evidence of this, and anyone who believes in Reptilians either needs to go back to school to learn logic or see a therapist.

If you believe in Reptilians, you’re a gullible, weak-minded fool who will believe anything. The Reptilian conspiracy theory is like Pizzagate. It’s a story invented by a professional liar who has to keep selling stories to keep getting paid.

American secret societies


America has a number of known secret fraternities like the Skull and Bones club, Bilderberg Group and Bohemian Grove, that include many politicians and leaders of industry. Conspiracy theorists believe these semi-secret organizations control the world or are plotting to.

The truth is, these are just groups of rich people who want to help each other get richer. They have a lot of power since they have a lot of money, but the world is bigger than them. China, India, and other world superpowers undoubtedly have their own little clubs for rich assholes, but none of them control the entire world, and it’s doubtful any of them want to.

All they want is for their businesses to make more money. They’ve undoubtedly done some shady things like fighting unions and environmental regulations and keeping the minimum wage at poverty levels. They probably congratulate themselves for ruling the world, but they don’t, nor do they need to.

The moon landing was faked
NASA faked some pictures and video of astronauts on the moon, but they did it because they didn’t have enough real footage to satisfy the public’s interest. Neil Degrasse Tyson does a better job than I could of explaining why it would be easier to go to the moon than to fake all the footage.

JFK


It’s possible there was more than one shooter involved in the JFK assassination, but nobody knows why JFK got shot. It’s doubtful any more evidence will come to light. So we’re just going to have to accept the fact that we’ll never know the whole truth.

Moon bases


In 2001, I was enlisted in the U.S. Air Force, stationed at Aviano Air Force Base, Italy. There, I met a man who claimed to have met a man whose job was to airbrush details out of government photos before the invention of Photoshop. This person claimed to have airbrushed bases out of pictures taken on the dark side of the moon. This story is proof of nothing, but it sure sounds cool. Frankly, I’d be disappointed in aliens and our government if there aren’t any permanent structures on the moon, but there’s no reason to believe there are until we have any real evidence.

The September 11th, 2001 terrorist attacks 


On September 11, 2001, members of the terrorist organization, Al-Qaeda, hijacked several commercial airliners and flew them into the Twin Towers and the Pentagon in a coordinated terrorist attack. Conspiracy theorists claim this was really an inside job, created by the American government as a false flag attack to justify war in the Middle East.

It’s not crazy to believe the American government is capable of this, because they used a false flag attack in the Gulf of Tonkin to justify starting the Vietnam War. It also drew up plans for Operation Northwoods, in which the CIA would commit a false flag attack on American civilians so the Department of Defense could justify going to war with Cuba. The plan was never enacted, but its real evidence of how low the American Government’s moral standards are. Given that the American government also invented false evidence and lied about its justification to go to war with Iraq, there’s no reason to trust anything the American government says.

Having said that, at best, we have evidence a crime was committed, and the American government had the means and motive to do it, but if the government were put on trial, there wouldn’t be enough evidence to convict them. If anything shady happened on September 11th, we’ll probably never know the whole truth. So we shouldn’t act like we do.

 

HAARP


In 1993, the American military built a ridiculously huge and expensive array of antennas in Alaska called the High Frequency Active Auroral Research Project, or HAARP. Officially, their primary goal was to see if they could use the atmosphere as a giant radar or communication device. Eventually, the program was shut down and sold to a college. Conspiracy theorists believe the American military was using HAARP to weaponize the weather.

It’s not crazy to believe the American military would try to weaponize the weather. They weaponized dolphins and tried to weaponize psychics. The people running the Department of Defense would weaponize their mothers if they could. The fact that they defunded HAARP and sold the equipment to a college, means they couldn’t find a way to do anything with the atmosphere… for now.

The American government is spying on you


It used to be a joke that people who believe the government is spying on them are tinfoil hat-wearing, paranoid lunatics. In 2013, Edward Snowden, one of the government employees who spied on Americans, leaked conclusive evidence that the government is spying on everyone and constantly trying to get better at it. It’s no longer a conspiracy theory that the American government is spying on you. At this point, it’s crazier to trust the American government than to distrust it.

The Communist agenda


Karl Marx said that Communism must be spread by the sword, because everyone deserves to be free, and if they’re not, it’s a moral imperative to overthrow their oppressors. This was part of America’s justification for going to war with Vietnam and for putting an embargo on Cuba for decades. The more countries that became Communist, the bigger of an alliance they could form. If enough countries got together, they could overthrow America, which again, their mission statement says they’re obligated to do.

Communist aggression is a thing of the past though, and it only ever really existed in the Russian revolution. Once Lenin and Stalin got in power, they ran Russia as a dictatorship and called it Communism, which is the same thing that happened in China, Vietnam, Cuba and every other country that ever called itself Communist. Communism has never actually been tried, and nobody is even attempting to try anymore. “Communist” China is the sweatshop capital of the world. That’s as Capitalist as it gets, and the farthest thing from Communism.

American conservatives will scream about how Communists want to take over America, but most American Communists are the kind of suburban mall rats who would pay $20 for a Che Guevara T-shirt printed in a Chinese sweat shop. They don’t have much of a clue what Communism is or how to implement it. The Communist spirit is dead, and anyone worried about it has had smoke blown up their butt by a fear mongering shock jocks who probably doesn’t know what Communism is either, other than a trigger word that excites conservatives.

The Socialist agenda


Socialism means shared ownership of the means of production. Co-op stores that are owned and operated by their employees are Socialist businesses. If a government takes ownership of a business, like Venezuela has done with its oil industry, that would be Socialist if Hugo Chavez paid every citizen an equal share of the profits.

Taking government control of a business and then putting the profits into the government’s coffers is Nationalizing the business, not Socializing it. If any of that money goes into politicians’ pockets, or to pay for their pet projects, then that would constitute a dictatorship.

“Socialized medicine” like Britain’s National Health System, is a misnomer. It’s Nationalized health care, not Socialized. The people don’t own the hospitals or make a profit from them. They just pay taxes for a service. Getting access to things like roads, schools or welfare, in exchange for paying taxes, isn’t Socialism.

A welfare state isn’t a Socialist state. It’s just a poorly run economy that fails to address the reason people are poor, which is that they’re underpaid by their employers. Socialism would actually fix the problems inherent in a welfare state, which is probably why rich people starting calling welfare, Socialism. This way, employees will demonize the solution to the problem their employers created.

Whenever you hear a conservative scream about the Socialist agenda to take over America and turn it into a welfare state, you’re hearing one economically illiterate fool echoing economically illiterate bullshit he heard a pro-capitalist, fear mongering shock jock say on TV. The only real Socialist agenda you’ll find in America is the Co-op movement, which can and does exist harmoniously with Capitalism.

Obama is a Muslim Socialist and illegal immigrant


If you ever believed Obama was a Muslim, Socialist or illegal immigrant, you need to stop watching whatever TV shows you’ve been watching, because you’ve been duped by a fear mongering shock jocks who will tell you whatever trigger words will get you to keep watching their show.

If Obama were a Muslim or a Socialist, he’s the worst one ever. His illegal wars have killed hundreds of thousands of Muslims and set the Muslim world back decades. His economic policies were pro-Capitalist. He even went as far as allowing the Occupy Wall Street protests to be illegally and violently shut down.

Obama’s sin is that he was a professional campaigner who worked for rich lobbyists. He’s a Capitalist’s wet dream and millionaire himself. Furthermore, Obamacare wasn’t Socialist. He didn’t give people ownership of health insurance companies. He forced the public to pay private companies for a shitty product. That’s Capitalism operating at its most predatory extreme.

The liberal agenda


Conservative Americans often complain about the “liberal agenda” to destroy America by turning it into a gay-loving, anti-Christian welfare state. If you believe this, you’ve been duped again by fear mongering shock jocks who make meaningless statements to scare viewers into watching more television.

Liberals don’t want to destroy America. It’s crazy that there are actually people who believe legions of faceless liberals are meeting up and conspiring to destroy America for no other reason than, they’re evil. Reread that last sentence, and replace “liberals” with “Jews,” and “America” with “Germany.” People who believe liberals are evil worry me, and the people who keep telling them liberals are a threat to their survival and deserve to be hated, terrify me.

The conservative agenda


The majority of American conservatives get most of their news from Fox News, which claims to be fair and balanced, but is bombastically pro-conservative, pro-Republican, pro-Capitalism and pro-American. It’s equally anti-liberal, anti-Democrat, anti-economic equality, anti-science and anti-immigrants.

Fox’s news segments contain slander, logical fallacies, misdirection, false-flag scares, emotional hype, misdirection and lies. This doesn’t happen because Fox is full of amateur journalists. Bullshit is the product Fox sells, and it has bullshit broken down to a science.

Fox news is so consistent in its agenda and dishonesty, it looks like there’ s a conspiracy among its leaders to create a civil war between conservative Republicans and liberal Democrats. It makes you wonder what’s really going on, and what’s the mastermind’s end game? The truth is easy to deduce if you look at the history of its founders Rupert Murdoch and Roger Ailes.

Rupert Murdoch was born in Australia in 1931. He inherited a fortune from his father and spent the 1950’s and 60’s buying up tabloid newspapers in Australia, which he consolidated under a parent company, News Corp. In the early 70’s, he bought up the major tabloids in Britain and the United States, adding them to News Corp. roster of sensationalist, fake news magazines. News Corp. was convicted of criminal charges for corruption, hacking and stealing in all three countries.

Roger Ailes was born in America in 1940. He started as a production assistant at a local news station in Ohio, where he was promoted several times, earning him the credentials to produce a daytime television talk show. In 1968, Ailes became a professional political campaign manager. He managed Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan’s presidential campaigns, and he advised George H. Bush, George W. Bush and Donald Trump.

So Fox News was founded by an international tabloid kingpin, who sells lies for a living, and the public relations manager of the Republican Party. When you put them together, you get sensationalist Republican propaganda with the journalistic integrity of a tabloid.

Basically, these two men pulled off a plan to create a television network that indoctrinates its viewers into basing their identity and beliefs on the Republican Party’s political agenda. This is corruption and treason at the highest level. It created a fake culture war that real people have died in. It’s driving the country to the brink of civil war. It orchestrated the launch of the longest war in America’s history. It’s the source of the war on science, which could destroy humanity. And it got Donald Trump elected president.

Why the hell would two men do that? Are they trying to destroy the world? No. They’re just businessmen doing what they do. Rupert Murdoch wanted to sell newspapers and TV shows, and Roger Ailes wanted to produce TV shows. By teaming up with the Republican Party, Murdoch and Ailes got loyal customers, and the Republican Party got loyal voters. They all got a lot richer, and that’s what it’s all about.
Chemtrails


Some conspiracy theorists believe the government is putting chemicals into airplanes and crop dusting the world in an attempt to kill civilians or make them stupid. There’s no evidence of it, and worrying about it wastes time you could be worrying about all the poisonous chemicals that are in practically every product you buy at your local grocery store. Even those are only part of a conspiracy to sell the cheapest product at the highest price to make the companies selling them richer.

Fluoride


Governments have been putting fluoride in drinking water for decades to help strengthen people’s teeth. While fluoride is good for your teeth, consuming it will harm your brain and make you stupid. Guards at Soviet gulags intentionally put fluoride in the water to make the prisoners less sharp and more docile.

Are American politicians putting fluoride in drinking water to make the population stupid or because they’re stupid? This is one of those conspiracy theories that is probably best solved using Hanlon’s Razor, which states, “Never attribute to malice that which can be attributed to incompetence.”

You shouldn’t drink tap water anyway. Every piece of equipment involved in getting that water to your house was built by the lowest bidder. It contains toxins from a hundred different sources, due to a hundred different people’s bad decisions.

The War on Drugs isn’t about drugs. It’s a war on people.


There’s a popular rumor, especially in the African-American community, that the government introduced hard drugs into the ghetto and set high prison sentences for drug users as a way to oppress the black community.

John Ehrlichman, a former aide to Richard Nixon, confirmed this when he confessed, “We knew we couldn’t make it illegal to be either against the war or black, but by getting the public to associate the hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroin. And then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities. We could arrest their leaders, raid their homes, break up their meetings, and vilify them night after night on the evening news. Did we know we were lying about the drugs? Of course we did.”

The war on drugs has always been a war on people. If it’s a war on African Americans specifically, the perpetrators have an unlimited tolerance for collateral damage. The War on Drugs causes suffering to people of every color, and it had done as much harm to Colombia as it has to Chicago. Even if African Americans were singled out, it wasn’t because of the color of their skin. If the majority of African Americans were die-hard Republicans who supported Nixon’s agendas, he would have pandered to them instead of attacking them.

The war on drugs may have been invented by racists, but Barack Obama had 8 years to end it. He held that torch tight and passed it dutifully. The only reason he did, was because he accepted campaign donations and promises from war dogs, many of whom were children in 1971, when Nixon basically used a false flag attack to declare war on Democrats and liberals. At this point, the war on drugs is just a pork barrel project that got too fat to kill. That’s as deep as the conspiracy goes.

Bigfoot, Loch Ness Monster and other local legends
Scientists discover new species every year. It’s possible we’ll find an unbelievably large stealthy creature, but until we capture one, there’s no reason to say they exist. That’s how sanity works.

The Holocaust never happened


Some conspiracy theorists believe the Holocaust never happened, and the story was invented by Jews to help justify invading Palestine and creating the modern nation of Israel. Much like faking the moon landing, it would be easier to kill 6 million people than to create a fake story which nobody involved ever leaked the truth about.

We already have cures for most diseases
Some conspiracy theorists believe the shadow government that rules the world already has the cure for AIDS, cancer and most other diseases. There’s no need to bring shadow governments into this. We know for a fact drug companies are withholding medicine, or at least over-pricing them, to force people to keep buying their product. That’s how Capitalism works.

Every business owner decides independently to do whatever it takes to sell their product to as many people as possible, as often as possible, for as much profit as possible. So, yes. There is a conspiracy to withhold medicine, but there’s no central mastermind behind it. There’s just a bunch of rich sociopaths like Martin Shkreli, who have no problem screwing the poor and sick to make a lot of money.

This concept also applies to the conspiracy theory that the government is suppressing technology that would give us unlimited energy so that we remain dependent on oil. I’m sure big oil companies have covered up new technologies. They’ve lobbied heavily against solar and wind power. The politicians they make campaign contributions to have colluded to help them keep the world dependent on their product, but that’s not unique to the fossil fuel industry. Every industry bribes politicians to give them an advantage over their competition. Politicians aren’t colluding in this because it’s all part of their master plan. It’s just that their priorities are up for public auction.

The war on Islam


America has been waging war in the Middle East for decades, and it often kills with disregard for collateral damage. This has led many Muslims to the conclusion America is at war with Islam. Muslim terrorist cults like Al-Queda and ISIS help spread this rumor to recruit gullible, poor, ignorant, disenfranchised young people.

It’s ironic that some American conservatives believe Barack Obama is a Muslim, since he’s responsible for the deaths of enough Muslims to convince the Islamic world that America is at war with their religion. Obama isn’t a Muslim, and the American military isn’t waging a holy war. America just has an industrial war complex that’s wagging the dog.

Boeing and Lockheed Martin can’t sell more weapons to the government if America’s not at war. The Middle East is the most convenient place to wage perpetual war since it’s full of weak, unlikable political leaders and radical sectarian death cults, who nobody minds getting shot. The fact that they’re Muslim is irrelevant to the weapons industry. They’d declare war on mothers and say it’s for freedom if it would convince the American government to buy more bullets.

America is an aggressive empire bent on world domination

Americans don’t think of their country as an evil empire, but there is a popular belief in many countries that America is an empire bent on world domination. As proof, they point to the fact that America toppled their government by force or by subterfuge, took their natural resources and outsourced sweatshops to their country.

Technically, America behaves like an evil empire, but what is America? Who is making all the evil decisions, and why? There is no evil genius or central committee. Remember, American politics is an auction house. America’s actions are for sale to the highest bidder. That doesn’t mean the richest person controls it. That means every rich person in the world can pay to play America like a video game. America is controlled by a bunch of monkeys paying to slap the country’s steering wheel. All these monkeys want the same thing: money.

America could do a much better job of taking over the world by military force if its government was well organized and focused. But there is no focus. The American military is a headless robot being taken on a joy ride by a line of rich guys. Those guys aren’t trying to take over the world. They just want to make the world more friendly to their profit margin. Their company is the empire they’re building. If America looks like an empire, it’s because there are a bunch of imperial companies wearing America like a glove.
Tools of the global elite

The World Trade Organization, International Monetary Fund and the World Bank are international organizations ostensibly devoted to economic prosperity. In reality, they cripple third world countries with tariffs, loans and bureaucracy. Technically, this constitutes a global conspiracy to control the world. However, there’s no evil genius at the top of the pyramid twirling his mustache. There’s just a gang of rich countries holding down poor countries, which is how the world has always worked.

Zionism


In order to understand Zionism, you need to know a little Jewish history. Thousands of years ago, the nation of Israel was conquered by Assyria, Babylonia and Rome, in that order. Each time the Jews were exiled, they picked themselves up by the bootstraps, got organized and retook their homeland.

Rome sent the Jews into exile around 70AD, and they lived in immigrant communities around the world until the 19th century, when a bunch of Jews got together and decided they were going to re-establish a Jewish state. They called the dream of returning to their homeland and reestablishing a Jewish state, Zionism.

The goal of Zionism was accomplished in 1948, when the well-organized Zionists gathered millions of dollars in donations from other Jews around the world, created an army and lobbied the world’s super powers to recognize the new Jewish government and not defend Palestine when Israel invaded the country, toppled the old government, committed ethnic cleansing on the Palestinian population and put the survivors in concentration camps.

Some anti-Semites believe that was really just the first step of Zionism, and the real goal is total world domination. That sounds sinister and unbelievable until you realize that every country wants to rule the world. However, most ordinary citizens just want to survive and take care of their family.

In every country, there are people want to build an empire, and there are those who don’t. Israel can’t even figure out a final solution to the Palestinian problem. Israel is never going to take over the world, and I’m sure most Jews know this, if they ever even thought about it at all. At this point, America is the world’s superpower, and Israel is one of America’s allies. So they got the next best thing. I believe most Jews are content with this.

The Jews run Hollywood


Many people have noticed there are a lot of Jewish names in Hollywood movie credits, which has led some to jump to the conclusion the Jews run Hollywood and are using movies to brainwash the world. There may be a lot of Jews in Hollywood, but that probably only means there’s a conspiracy among Jews to enter profitable industries, which is what everyone in the world wants. Judging by the low quality of movies coming out of Hollywood, I’d say the only conspiracy among them is to make cheap products that appeal to gullible consumers with low intellectual standards, which is what every business owner in the world wants.

Antisemitism


Some Jewish conspiracy theorists believe there’s a worldwide movement to oppress the Jews, and anyone who criticizes any Jew or the Israeli government is prejudice. The reality is, everyone is a little racist, but most people are too busy worrying about themselves to worry about other groups. Jews may be disappointed to learn how little anyone really thinks about them.

There are a lot of religions and ethnic groups around the world who have victim complexes and pull the prejudice card so often it never gets put back in the deck. Sometimes they really are being victimized, like when Nazis put Jews in concentration camps, but sometimes ethnic groups play the victim card to deflect valid criticisms.

For example, I’ve liked every Jew I’ve ever met, but I don’t like the fact that the Jewish government in Israel is putting Palestinians in concentration camps. That’s not me be being anti-Semitic. That’s me pointing out a cut-and-dry violation of the Geneva Convention and the Declaration of Human Rights. If there’s a conspiracy here, it’s not that anti-Semitism is epidemic, it’s that political spin, bullshit excuses and lack of accountability are epidemic.
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Basic training is brainwashing


At some point in your life, someone has told you basic training is brainwashing. If you’ve never read a book on brainwashing or been through basic training, you probably thought to yourself, “I guess I could see how that kind of makes sense.” Then you never really thought about it again. If you did go through basic training, and someone told you it’s brainwashing, you probably told them they’re an idiot.

Most civilians and veterans haven’t read any books on brainwashing. Since neither side knows what brainwashing is, neither can prove their case, even if they’ve been through basic training. The only way to settle this argument is to go through basic training and take a checklist of brainwashing techniques with you. Then see if you find any of the red flags and check them off the list.

If you do that, you’ll check off every single criterion. Basic training is the perfection of brainwashing. To make matters creepier, if you take a checklist of a cult and walk around a military base looking for its red flags, you’ll check off every criterion on that list as well.

Basic training is the indoctrination process of a tax payer-funded death cult. This isn’t an opinion or a theory. Basic training literally fits the definition of brainwashing, and the military’s behaviors fit the definition of a cult. This fact isn’t controversial due to lack of evidence. It’s controversial because it civilians can’t accept they’re funding a death cult that commits human right violations on their heroes, and military members can’t accept it for the same reasons Scientologists can’t admit they belong to a cult.

Global warming and the war on science


Lobbyists from the fossil fuel industry legally bribed Republican politicians to repeal environmental protection laws, because they made producing energy more expensive and thus less profitable. But those politicians couldn’t legalize pollution, because that would look evil, and they would lose voters.

The most important thing in the world to a professional campaigner is their image. So they called up the guy they pay to manage their image, Roger Ailes and told him they need their voters to oppose environmental protection laws. Ailes told his business partner, Rupert Murdoch, who owns Fox News. They used all Rupert Murdoch’s tabloid tricks to convince half of America to believe in a strawman argument about climate change so they’d support Republicans passing laws that help fossil fuel companies make more money by not having to spend it cleaning and reducing the pollution they create.

We shouldn’t even be arguing about climate change. The term was invented by employees of Murdoch and Ailes to trick people into not saying “global warming,” because “climate change” doesn’t sound deadly. But even “global warming” is a distraction from the real issue, which is pollution.

Pollution is poison. The more poison there is in the environment, the more things will die from it. The less poison there is, the fewer things will die from it. That’s true regardless of whether or not climate change is real, and there’s too much poison in our environment already.

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Why won’t people just give Trump a chance?

I’m going to explain why people won’t just give Trump a chance by using an analogy:

Once upon a time, there was an old woman named Amy who ran an orphanage. Amy had the best of intentions for the children under her ward, but she had a bad habit of dating terrible men and allowing them to meddle in the affairs of the orphanage. Inevitably, every one of her boyfriends would come in, abuse the children, steal money and sell the furniture, plumbing, decorations and anything else that wasn’t bolted down.

Of all the children who lived at the orphanage, the two most outspoken were Connie and Libby, both of whom were fed up with Amy’s boyfriends. One day Amy brought home a smooth talking black man who Connie hated immediately, but Libby loved him. Amy dated the black man for eight months, and Connie threw an epic tantrum the entire time. Every day she would scream about how he was going to destroy the orphanage. All the children grew so weary of hearing Connie call him a nigger and accuse him of being an illegal immigrant that eventually they just stopped paying any attention to her.

While this was going on, starry-eyed Libby defended Amy’s boyfriend despite the fact that he acted exactly like all the rest of them- abusing children, stealing money and going as far as selling the children’s medicine to friends he owed favors to.

Eventually he left, and Amy started courting again. After sifting through the dating pool, she narrowed her love interests down to two people: a bitter old woman with crooked eyes and a racist philandering old man with orange hair. Both of them were professional con artists who made a living stealing from children and exploiting orphanages.

The woman walked around the orphanage with a tape measure, taking inventory of everything she planned to sell while talking to her business partners on her cell phone in a hushed voice. The man was even worse. He grabbed the girls by their pussies and openly bragged about how he was going to kick out the Mexican and Muslim children and not allow any more into the orphanage. For some reason Libby loved the woman with crooked eyes and hated the man with orange hair. Connie loved the man but hated the woman.

In the end, Amy decided to go steady with the man and end her courtship with the woman. Libby was heartbroken. For weeks she cried and yelled at Amy, “How could you let another con artist into the orphanage? Can’t you see he’s obviously a greedy, creepy, racist lunatic!?”

Indignant, Connie defended Amy by shouting at Libby, “You’re so closed minded and delusional! Why do you keep saying he’s sexist just because he grabs our pussy? Why do you keep saying he’s racist just because he keeps bragging about kicking out minorities? It’s not fair. I want him to be here, which means we all want him to be here. We all owe it to him to give him a chance.”

All of the other children in the orphanage got tired of hearing Connie and Libby arguing before the man even moved in. On the day he finally did, Libby threw a massive tantrum and ran all around the building shouting and breaking things. Connie watched Libby’s tantrum with a mixture of gloating and disgust. When the tantrum was over, Connie said to Libby, “Why can’t you just respect Amy’s decision? This man is practically our father now. So you better grow up and start showing him some respect.”

At that moment, the quietest child, Marjorie, stood up and screamed in Connie’s face, “What are you talking about!? You threw an eight month tantrum the entire time her last boyfriend was here. You don’t get to play the ‘give him a chance’ card after the way you’ve been acting. And he’s not our dad. We don’t owe him anything. He’s just the latest fox Amy let into the hen house. It blows everyone’s mind you and Libby can’t see how all of Amy’s lovers are completely corrupt.”

Seething with self-righteous anger, Connie sneered at Marjorie, “If you don’t like it, why don’t you just leave?”

Marjorie threw her hands in the air and shouted, “We can’t! We’re penniless orphans! Nobody will take us. We’re trapped. We’re not lucky to be here. We’re prisoners. Sure, Amy does some nice things for us when she’s not snooping through our stuff and running the orphanage into the ground. But she makes us do chores until our hands bleed to earn our keep. We’re getting the short end of the stick. So fuck that slave driver and all her shitty boyfriends, especially this one who is the worst of them all.”

Connie stuck her nose up in the air and sauntered back to her dilapidated cot to gloat. Over her shoulder she said, “You’ll see. He’ll make the orphanage great again.”

Marjorie shook her head in disbelief and muttered, “Whatever. You’ll see, but I have a feeling you won’t admit it when he turns out to be just like all the rest.”

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How to Survive the Trumpocalypse

how to survive the trumpocalypse

I compiled a collection of blogs I’ve written into an E-book entitled “How to Survive the Trumpocalypse,” which is available on Amazon. Below is the introduction and links to all of the blogs:

INTRODUCTION

This book is a collection of essays I posted my blog, TheWiseSloth.com, between 2010 and 2016. The tagline of the website is, “Enlightenment for the masses,” and its mission statement is, “to provide editorial, philosophical, instructional, inspirational and satirical posts in the form of essays, lists, comics, and fiction, which tend to be irreverent, humorous and controversial.”

I choose the topics I write about by asking myself, “What are the most important questions people need answers to?” So I’ve spent years writing about the root causes of people’s biggest problems, which often boil down to politics and economics.

When major events happen in the world, readers will E-mail me to ask for my perspective, and during the 2016 presidential primaries, I received several requests to explain the candidates and the election in general. In response I wrote three essays and three comics analyzing the candidates and the political process. In them I predicted Hillary Clinton would be America’s next president, and I only planned on writing one blog about her victory, because I didn’t have anything to say about her that I hadn’t already said about Barack Obama.

I’d never considered writing a blog about Trump’s presidency, because he was just a bad joke that got taken too far. Then, all of a sudden the joke turned real and wasn’t funny anymore. The internet buzzed for days after the election with people asking what it means that Trump won. How did it happen? What will he do next? What do we do next? Nobody had any idea, myself included. I needed answers to these questions for my own closure.

Initially, I assumed I’d be able to cover the topic in two or three posts, but the end of the rabbit hole turned out to be ten blogs deep. The first four attempted to explain what it means that Trump is president. The last six answered the question, “What should we do about Trump?”

By the time I finished, I realized I had enough content on an important enough topic to make a short book, but after compiling the blogs, I felt the finished product raised more questions than it answered, such as, “How did this happen? What are the stakes? What would happen if we did nothing? Why was I wrong about Hillary Clinton? How far can we question the government? What else can we do?” Since I had already written dozens of posts over the years addressing those questions, I went back and added them to complete the narrative.

The blogs aren’t listed in the chronological order they were written, but each chapter heading includes the date it was originally posted on The Wise Sloth and how many days that was before or after November 9th, 2016, the day of the Trumpocalypse.

Since the essays were originally written to stand alone, some of the information in them is repeated, but it’s presented from different angles in different contexts, which shows how it fits in the bigger picture.

“How to Survive the Trumpocalypse” is divided into seven sections: “Obama’s legacy,” “The root of America’s problem, “What poverty looks and feels like,” “Problems in American culture,” “The Trumpocalypse,” “The moral imperative of civil disobedience” and “What do we do now?”

The book begins with three essays written about/during, Obama’s presidency, because I want to establish immediately that Trump is just a symptom of a bigger problem, which is that America has taken capitalism to its most predatory extreme. All of the essays in the next three sections illustrate how, for the poorest of the poor, life in America has been apocalyptic since 1776.

The “Trumpocalypse” section, which includes all the essays I wrote about/during the 2016 presidential election, leads to the conclusion the reason November 9th, 2016 is such a significant date, is because it was the day America’s economic/political system reached its inevitable conclusion by crowning a corrupt, unqualified, mentally unstable billionaire as its supreme leader. In other words, the system officially endorsed the root of the problem to be the solution.

The government crossed a line allowing Trump to become president. Worst case scenario, the Trumpocalypse was an official declaration of war on the poor. Best case scenario, it was a confession of failure. Either way, now more than ever, every American needs to reassess their perception of reality and start thinking and acting differently, which is why I included the section about civil disobedience.

The solutions I propose in the final section are far-fetched, but I didn’t set the bar so high because I’m naïve. I did it because America has a drastic problem that requires drastic solutions, and lowering the bar isn’t one of them.

My goal isn’t to convince you to believe everything I say. I just want to educate and inspire you. I use a conversational tone and try to inject humor and wit while discussing big topics so you’ll be more likely to read the entire book, think about America’s problems differently and look for solutions nobody has thought of yet.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

 Obama’s Legacy 

1. Americans, You’re Not Represented In The 2012 Presidential Election
2. What Four More Years Of Obama Means
3. Why Obamacare Made Me Facepalm

The root of America’s problem

4. The Fundamental Problem With The Economy
5. The Cost/Benefit Analysis of Economic Oppression
6. The Downside of Economic Growth
7. Poverty Is The Root Of The World’s Biggest Problems, And Predatory Capitalism Is the Root Of Poverty
8. What’s Wrong With America’s Tax System
9. The Legacy Of A Billionaire
10. Seven Steps To Becoming A Billionaire

What poverty looks and feels like

11. Why Are Americans So Violent And Unhappy?
12. Life Is Hard Because The System Is Inhumane, Not Because We’re Weak
13. You Might Be Depressed Because The System Sucks, Not Because You Suck
14. What It’s Like To Be Poor
15. The Lottery Is A Microcosm of America
16. Advice For Young Workers
17. How To Escape Poverty
18. Is It Lazy To Not Want To Work?
19. How Predatory Capitalism Warps The Way We Define Maturity
20. This Is How We Live Now: Part 1
21. This Is How We Live Now: Part 2
22. This Is How We Live Now: Part 3

Problems in American culture

23. It’s Time To Stop Guilt Tripping Poor People Into Saving The Environment
24. How Pop Culture Warps Our Perception of Reality
25. You’re Delusional If You Still Believe America Is The Land Of The Free
26. Americans Need To Learn The Difference Between Socialism, Communism And Capitalism
27. The Issue of Race In The Occupy Wall Street Movement
28. A White Man Explains The Context Of The Black Lives Matter Movement
29. It’s Time To Stop Guilt Tripping White People
30. American Cops Are Delusional If They Can’t Understand Why Civilians Hate Them
31. An Intervention With The Police
32. We Need To Talk About Ordering Cops To Beat Up Protesters
33. My Experience With The TSA
34. Is It Moral For Police To Enforce Laws They Believe Are Unjust?

The Trumpocalypse

35. Right Wing Entertainment News Is Making America Worse
36. What I Think Of Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton And Bernie Sanders
37. Why It’s Delusional To Vote In America’s 2016 Presidential Primaries
38. Why The 2016 Presidential Primaries Should Make Us All Sad And Scared
39. Why Did Americans Vote For Trump?
40. What Will Trump Do Now That He’s President?
41. Why I’m Glad Trump Won
42. Why Americans Shouldn’t Accept Trump As President
43. How Donald Trump changed my understanding of American politics

The moral imperative of civil disobedience

44. Patriotism Is Not A Virtue
45. Why You Should Not Have Faith In Your Government
46. Why And When You Should Have A Problem With Authority
47. Self-Subjugation Is Not A Virtue

What do we do now?

48. What Should Foreigners Do About Trump?
49. What Should Republicans And Democrats Do About Trump?
50. What Should Racists Do About Trump?
51. What Should Cultural Isolationists Do About Trump?
52. What Should Minorities Do About Trump?
53. What Should Rich People Do About Trump?
54. The Cost/Benefit Analysis of Terrorism
55. Three Things That Won’t Change America, And Six That Will
56. Ten Solutions To Most Of America’s Problems
57. Collapse Is The Product of Unsustainability. Sustainability Is The Product Of Sustainability
58. Why I’m Not Sure We Need Another Occupy Wall Street Style Protest
59. Our Political Model Won’t Change Until Our Economic Model Changes
60. The Quality Of Our Leaders Reflects The Quality Of Our Higher Education System
61. It’s Time To Stop Oppressing The Academically Disinclined
62. A Novel Approach To Taxing The Rich
63. If You Want Everyone To Vote, Then Make Voting Work For Everyone
64. The World Won’t Get Better Until You Stop Being A Consumer Whore
65. The World Won’t Get Better Until You Stop Being A Vidiot
66. Why The World Sucks And How To Save It
67. We Need To Talk About Utopia
68. Conservative Americans, You Don’t Need To Overthrow Your Government To Make The World A Better Place
69. An Open Letter To Generation X
70. My One Point Solution To The World’s Problems


How Donald Trump changed my understanding of American politics

For years I’ve been growing more and more convinced America doesn’t have fair and free presidential elections. I believed Hillary Clinton would win the 2016 presidential election since 2012. So Donald Trump’s victory made me reconsider all my assumptions about how America’s government works. It also inspired people who don’t follow politics to ask themselves, what the hell is going on in Washington? I’ll offer my new theory, but first I need to explain my original one and how I came to it.

The only president in American history who wasn’t a member of the two-party political system was George Washington, because they designed the election system to favor them by creating the Electoral College, Gerrymandering, superdelegates, voter registration laws, campaign finance laws, nomination requirements and mutually-beneficial agreements with the major media outlets.

The end result is career politicians have to play ball with the RNC and DNC in order to become president. Since all these deals happen behind closed doors, the public doesn’t know who exactly politicians have to impress, or what they have to do, to earn the presidential nomination.

I don’t know the answers to those questions, but I do know Hillary Clinton moved to New York in 2001 to become a senator to set herself up to run for president. In 2012 she lost to Barack Obama in the DNC presidential primaries, and John McCain ran such a poor campaign, it looked like he threw the race. Then Hillary got promoted to Secretary of State until she ran for president again in 2016. She got caught cheating in the primaries while she was under investigation by the FBI, who let her off the hook way too easy.

Everything pointed to the conclusion she was being set up to win. I didn’t think the RNC and DNC were even going to count the votes in the 2016 presidential election. They were just going to announce some numbers and tell us who their preconceived winner was.

I understand this is a huge conspiracy theory, and I feel guilty for putting so much stock in it, because I’m an extremely skeptical person. That’s why I’ve never blamed any specific individuals for leading this shadow government that seems to be pulling the strings.

I’ve researched and considered all the popular conspiracy theories about who’s running the world: The Bilderberg Group, Bohemian Grove, Illuminati, Free Masons, Reptilians, etc. Millions of people believe in these theories, because they’re based on grains of truth, but the blanks are filled in with speculation and falsehoods. Plus, they still leave unanswered questions.

There are thousands of years of historical records proving various groups of powerful people have been influencing the world’s most powerful governments, and that’s not crazy. It’s just how society works. People get together and do stuff.

Someone is the most powerful person in the world. That would be true no matter what. Likewise, there’s one good old boy network with the most influence, but each of the world’s super powers have their own networks, and many parts of the world are power vacuums.

The world is not one single ship with one captain. It’s an ocean full of ships, and America just happens to be the largest right now. We know there are various semi-secret societies wielding power in America’s government, but the fact that there are multiple good old boy networks slapping the steering wheel, points to the conclusion there isn’t one supreme ruler.

Occam’s Razor says, “The simplest solution is usually the correct one,” and the easiest way to explain American politics would be to blame a single entity for running everything. However, Hanzlon’s Razor says, “Never attribute to evil, that which can be attributed to stupidity.”

The war in Iraq led me to suspect Hanzlon’s Razor may be more useful than Occam’s in explaining America’s behavior. It was obviously orchestrated. So there must have been some kind of plan behind it, but the entire fiasco was so disorganized and short-sighted, it couldn’t possibly be part of a solid master plan created by geniuses.

The only thing the war accomplished was making companies with lobbyists richer. It was a smash and grab for American taxpayer dollars and Iraqi oil. That’s not a master plan. It’s just a bunch of greedy monkeys slapping a steering wheel.

If you look at how the Department of Defense, Department of Homeland Security, Department of Education, Food and Drug Administration, and every other major organization in the American government have sold out the American people, it looks like there’s a master plan to screw the population, but every piece of legislation that whittled away the integrity of these agencies was signed by politicians who received money from companies who benefited from them. There are a million money trails, all leading to rich people in different business sectors. This isn’t a centrally orchestrated strategy. It’s a public auction.

If Hillary Clinton would have won the 2016 presidential election, I would have taken that as confirmation there really is a group with god-like control over the system, because the FBI and DNC were obviously working together to pave the way for her. I would be more confused why she lost, except James Comey, the head of the FBI, and the person who publicly absolved her of breaking the law during the primaries, stabbed her in the back right before the general election by reopening her case and announcing the FBI would endorse Trump, which the FBI doesn’t do. Obviously, Trump compromised Comey somehow, which means Comey isn’t part of a grand conspiracy. He’s just for sale like the rest of the government, and Trump outbid Clinton.

I can believe a master genius would choose Hillary to be his puppet, but not Trump. You could even see the sadness in the faces of every politician at Trump’s acceptance speech; they were just as shell shocked as the rest of the world. The fact that he won means the general election wasn’t rigged, even if the DNC primaries were.

The only explanation for Trump’s victory, is the system is a rudderless cluster fuck. Since Trump is such a wealthy cluster fuck of a human being, the system was practically designed to let people like him sidestep through the cracks into office.

As depressing as that is, it gives me more hope than the alternative. There’s a popular saying in the U.S. military, “You can’t fix stupid,” but ISIS has taught us it’s more impossible to fix evil. At least this scenario gives Americans something we can resolve without a violent revolution, and it tells us exactly what we need to demand. If the root of the problem is money in politics, then all we need to demand is corruption reform.

Americans have known for years that money in politics is a major problem, but Donald Trump conclusively proved it’s the entirety of the problem. Hopefully, the worse Trump makes America, the more people will focus their protests, riots, letters to politicians and internet chatter on taking money out of politics. We just need to find a better strategy than the Occupy Wall Street movement.

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Why I’m glad Trump won

Up until November 9th, I was dead certain Hillary Clinton would be America’s next president, but not because I wanted her to. I dreaded a Clinton presidency, because it would be like living under the reign of a female George Bush, except instead of having to watch four years of news clips of a goofy, folksy puppet act like he’s not selling off America to his corporate friends, I’d have to watch a soulless android sci-fi villain do it gloatingly.

To be honest, I’m glad Trump won if for no other reason, than knowing it wiped that smug smile off of Hillary’s face. She was so sure she’d pulled all the right strings to anoint herself ruler of America whether the public wanted her or not. Now, instead of getting to laugh at the poor suckers under her control, we get to laugh at her losing her one shot at fulfilling her narcissistic dream. I wish I could have taken a selfie with her the moment Trump crushed her life’s goal and broke her abysmal, roach-infested heart. I like to believe Bill Clinton feels the same way.

I accurately predicted Obama would win both his terms. When Obamamania was sweeping the nation, I was saying, “Eh, he’s just going to be George Bush 3.0, and the president after him will be George Bush 4.0.”

So I almost had a heart attack from being not surprised when Hillary Clinton won the DNC presidential primaries. I felt even more confident the system was shoehorning her into the White House when she got caught cheating and didn’t get disqualified.

The only thing that surprised me about the outcome of the 2016 presidential primaries was that the RNC and DNC picked such a low ranking amateur like Trump to be Hillary’s fall guy. I could see him taking a dive to let a more convincing opponent get knocked out in the final round, but when it turned out to be the him, I thought, “Man, they’re not even trying to pretend this is real anymore.”

I explained all of this to a friend of mine in September, who responded, “Exactly. That’s why I’m voting for Trump. I know he’s crazy, but if an apocalypse is what it’s going to take to change anything, I’ll press the red button. Fuck it. I’m tired of this shit.”

I agreed, and even said, “Yeah. You know, a Trump apocalypse would be better than a Hillary apocalypse. At least it would be quick, and the sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can start moving towards the future instead of orbiting the same old black hole.”

However, I also told him I wasn’t voting, because the ballot box is just a dummy switch. The machine is going to do what it’s going to do, no matter how many times you press the “Emergency” button.

It blew my mind when Trump won. I spent election night reassessing everything I believed about American politics and what the future holds. As horrified as I was to see Trump win, I’ve come to believe it was for the best. If the government held a recount between Trump and Hillary, I’d hope Trump would win again for several reasons.

Trump can make Americans great again by freeing Americans of the delusion of patriotism.

During George Bush Jr.’s reign, I wondered how much worse our presidents would have to get before Americans finally said enough is enough. After the government found Barack Obama to be their next smooth talking spokesperson, I assumed they’d learned their lesson, and we could expect decades of wolves in sheep’s clothing to placate the masses. So I was relieved when Trump got elected. I assumed they’d have more foresight than to put an un-ignorable clown in power so soon, but instead of pushing George Bush 4.0 on the American people, the government jumped straight to George Bush 10.0.

This won’t make America great for anyone except the ultra-wealthy. Life for everyone else will feel ten times more like living in a financial meat grinder than it already does. The wonderful thing about that is, it will force Americans to change their minds. When that happens, then they will be able to change America.

Over the past sixteen years America has become a police state whose primary goal seems to be increasing income inequality. Whenever Republicans made things worse, conservatives would scream at liberals not to question the government. When Democrats made life worse, liberals would defend the government’s crimes with the same appeal to patriotism.

In a country of 300 million people, only 6% voted for Trump, and just as few voted for Hillary because, at this point, Americans have figured out it’s ludicrous to vote on politicians with blind faith. Most liberals aren’t even falling back on the excuse that Hillary would have been better. Voter turn out proves they believe arguing which candidate is the lesser of two evils is like arguing whether to drop the Fat Man or Little Boy bomb on American soil.

The 2016 election proved the RNC, DNC and the election system they created are too broken and corrupt to trust. Now more than ever, Americans should be asking themselves, “Why am I defending a system that keeps screwing me over? Why should I bend over backwards for a system that only exists because I fund it to do a job for me?”

Defending the system isn’t heroic. That’s being a willing slave. It’s like hiring a butler to clean your house, but instead, they move in, make you clean for them and pay them for the privilege. Then, when your family complains, you scream at them to be proud to serve your tyrannical servant.

That was never good enough, but Americans couldn’t see it because they were too brainwashed with American exceptionalism. Well, now that we have the least exceptional president ever, we’ve been liberated from our delusion. Not all Americans have seen the light yet, but after four years of a Trump presidency, they will, and that moment can’t come soon enough.

Trump’s policies and staff picks are impossible to ignore.

I worried Trump might be a lame duck president and just spend four years smiling for the cameras and kissing babies while America got a little bit worse… but not bad enough to make Americans to throw in the towel. However, Trump is staffing his cabinet with religious fanatics, wealthy members of his social class, and under-qualified politicians he owes favors to. It’s like he’s trying to prove the point that the election system is designed to fill the government with swamp monsters.

Trump is helping America talk about race.

Trump is promising to build a pointless wall on the Mexican border, ban Muslims from entering the country, practically declare martial law in the ghetto and turn the police force into immigrant-hunting hit squads. Given the way he treats women, they’ll probably suffer under his presidency too.

This is a bad time to be a white man, because we’ll be assumed guilty of all Trump’s racial offences by association, but as bad as racial tensions are in America right now, the worse they get, the more people talk about race, and that’s the only way America will resolve its racial tension.

The golden age of white guilt is finally over. The more social justice warriors use white men as a scapegoat for the problems created by the 1%, the more backlash they’re creating. People are slowly wising up to the fact that white people aren’t the problem. The more common knowledge that becomes, the quicker society will come to the conclusion every race should be fighting alongside each other against their real common enemy.

The impossible is possible.

One of the first things I thought when Trump won the presidency was, “Well, it’s official. America is hopelessly stupid.”

Most of the rest of the world agreed with me, and they were glad Trump won, because he’s the president America deserves. They are happy to watch us wallow in our shit and die of hepatitis.

After having time to think about America’s plight, I’m more optimistic. The upside to America’s mistake is that the first step to recovery is to hit rock bottom. America has done that. Now that we fully see where our addiction to Republicans and Democrats has gotten us, we can start over.

It’s counter-intuitive to believe an addict will change, because the point of addiction is that you can’t stop. Americans need to stop what they’re doing and change so drastically I wouldn’t believe it possible… if Trump hadn’t just been elected president. For the rest of my life, anytime someone tells me something isn’t possible, I’m going to respond, “If Donald Trump can be president, anything can happen.”

If Trump isn’t the catalyst that finally smacks Americans out of their suburban consumer day dream, he’s a gargantuan push in the right direction, and I’m sincerely thankful for that.

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What should minorities do about Trump?

Before you listen to anything I have to say, you may be wondering what right a blonde haired, blue eyed, white descendant of slave owners has to give minorities advice on anything. In which case, I’m glad you theoretically asked.

Think about this. The truth of my words aren’t dependent on the color of any of my physical features. They would be just as true if Neil deGrasse Tyson said them.

If you don’t buy that because you’ve already judged me, the problem is you need to acknowledge that I didn’t ask for the colors of any of my body parts. The lottery of fate just shat me out looking the way I do. If you’re going to hold people accountable for the crimes of their bloodlines, you’d be more justified hating the actors in the video below for exterminating the Moriori than blaming me for oppressing American minorities.

The closest thing to slave owners in my family tree were French aristocrats who fled to America penniless during the French Revolution to escape getting beheaded by the poor, angry white people they exploited. All of my American-born ancestors were poor, just like me.

I grew up in barrios and ghettos where I couldn’t walk the streets at night because I’d get jumped for being white. Since graduating high school I’ve lived with at least seven African American housemates. Every single one has explained to me in detail how their culture views white people as the enemy, and I can corroborate their testimony by pulling up Youtube videos all day of minorities advocating killing white people.

Anything I say to convince people not to revenge-kill me over crimes I had nothing to do with is warranted, but that point pales in comparison to the following facts: We’re all human. We’re all family, and I have more in common with poor minorities than white people like Donald Trump. I might not get terrorized by cops quite as much as my darker friends, but that hardly makes me privileged if I work my ass off and still can’t afford rent because I can’t afford my car repair bills because I can’t afford my dental bills because I don’t qualify for the same financial assistance as other races.

I’m not a plantation owner telling you how to live your life. I’m a fellow wage slave pontificating on how we can solve our mutual problem.

End of disclaimer

Donald Trump won the 2016 presidential election by energizing disenfranchised white voters with a year’s worth of hate speeches against minorities. The results of the election surprised and terrified me, but my terror wasn’t mixed with surprise when I saw protesters rioting across America while Mexican Americans and Muslims posted blogs questioning if it’s safe for them to stay in America.

The circumstances behind Trump’s victory almost make me believe there’s a conspiracy to start a race war. At the same time as the Black Lives Matter movement has been burning cars and inspiring murder, the American government nominated a racist to run against the most famously corrupt and unlikable politician in America. Then the mainstream media legitimized him, and the Electoral College system determined him the winner before he lost the popular vote.

This absurd series of events seems too convenient to have happened by chance, until you look at the American government’s track record of screwing up everything it does. The chaos surrounding the 2016 election conclusively proves one thing. Americans can’t count on their government to do anything for them except make their problems worse. If the government keeps solving problems at its current success rate, it’s only a matter of time before the consequences of its failures spark more race riots.

I could be overly optimistic. The fact that rich business owners manipulated black and whites into hating each other by institutionalizing slavery 250+ years ago sets a historical precedent for the financial elite orchestrating racial tension among the common people. However, this just makes it all the more tragically ironic that some minorities are interpreting Trump’s popularity as more proof that all white people are evil and complicit in a grand conspiracy to oppress other races.

Black and white racists are unwittingly blaming each other for the exact same problems. Both sides are embroiled in a witch hunt for scapegoats that’s distracting them from uniting against their common enemy. Neither side sees what they’re doing, because they’ve been living in relative cultural isolation. If they weren’t too poor to travel, and could extract themselves from the trees to see the forest, they’d see the financial elite are oppressing every race.

Trump may be white, but his actions aren’t motivated by skin color. When he looks at poor people, all he sees are suckers to be exploited, and he has black, Hispanic and Asian friends in the 1% who view the working class with the same green tinted glasses.

The current president-elect is neither the first, nor the only color of, rich political candidate to pander to extremists for the guaranteed support they’ll receive. It doesn’t take a psychic to predict he won’t be the last.

Listed below are steps minorities could take to fight poverty directly in lieu of voting on the next rich asshole who represents the lesser of two evils:

Stop hating white people.

The best hope minorities have of breaking the chains holding them below the poverty line is to end the cold war they’re waging against their broke white neighbors and unite with them. Even without joining forces, this would free minorities from wasting their lives hating innocent scapegoats and empower them to focus their attention on the real culprits responsible for their suffering.

Protest in the 1%’s neighborhoods.

In March 2016 a rapper and Black Lives Matter advocate named Tef Poe, tweeted, “Dear white people if Trump wins young niggas such as myself are fully hell bent on inciting riots everywhere we go. Just so you know.”

Attacking people will only justify martial law, which will only lead to more suffering. The only affect it will have on the poverty creators is giving them something fun to watch on television. If you must protest and riot, don’t attack local business and ethnic diversity. Take your grievances to America’s richest neighborhoods, and protest there.

Show them the problems they’re creating won’t stay safely tucked away in the ghetto. Leave notes on their doors saying they can have their peace and quiet back as soon as they raise wages and lower prices at the business they’re sucking up the nation’s wealth through. This will probably get the National Guard called on you, but at least it will send a message to the right people.

Boycott economic oppressors.

Black and white businessmen and women have made fortunes convincing poor people to buy their overpriced brands. Instead of wearing gold chains, gangsters should wear nooses around their necks, because the rich are metaphorically selling them the rope to hang themselves with. Boycotting the rope-sellers will save poor people money they desperately need and force billionaires to switch to selling products that actually benefit their customers.

Every street corner in the ghetto has a liquor store, gun store and payday loan office, all of which bring nothing to the community except poverty. The government won’t stop the flow of economic oppression into the ghetto, but the people can by boycotting these businesses.

Convert gangs into legitimate business networks.

The reason gun violence is epidemic in ghettos is because resources are scarce. Gangs resort to selling drugs on the black market because it’s usually the most lucrative (if not the only) job available to young adults. To the individual, the risk analysis of selling drugs adds up, but the cost to the community outweighs the benefit. In the end, you’re selling overpriced poison to people with a crippling medical condition who are trying to ease the pain of living in poverty and numb the fear of being caught in the crossfire between you and your competitors battling to the death over market share.

So the only reason gangs exist, is because scarce resources drove street kids to earn money by joining illegal businesses, which sell products that are in high demand. This puts gangs in the perfect position to solve the problem that created them. All they have to do is sell their customers the things they need most instead of the thing they need least.

For example, if pizza restaurants won’t deliver to the ghetto, gangs could make a profit by filling the untapped pizza delivery market. Their slogan could be, “We sell food, not fear.” They could also provide a service like “Uber” to help shuttle people without cars to jobs outside the ghetto. It might not be as lucrative as selling crack, but you can make a living without worrying about earning a place in Hall.

Gangs could take this business model to the next level by purchasing crack houses, fixing them up and providing low income housing that keeps rent money in the community. In addition, gangs could build farms and sell fresh produce to customers who would otherwise have to pay extortionate markups for food at “convenience stores.”

If gangs don’t fill these needs, churches could. If clergymen won’t, then congregations should start their own churches that invest all their donations to providing members with the necessities of life instead of providing its leaders with expensive suits, cars and houses.

Improve education locally.

The biggest hurdle to escaping poverty is lack of education. It’s almost impossible for students to receive a quality education at dangerous, underfunded public schools, but gangs, churches and community organizations could solve this by providing security for students on and/or off campus.

Alternately, they could cut out the middleman by proving home schooling services right in the projects.

The cost of a higher education is so inflated, it would be impossible to give every street kid grants to attend college, but it’s not too expensive to send high school graduates to trade schools, especially if students have the opportunity to pay back their benefactors by working for them, providing plumbing, HVAC and other skills to customers in low income areas.

Source representation locally.

In 2016, African American voters had the “opportunity” to choose between two white presidential candidates who have never lived in a ghetto and are committed to increasing the profits of the ruling class. Neither candidate would have represented the will of the poor any more than Barack Obama, Herman Cain or Ben Carson.

Latino Americans had the “opportunity” to vote in the 2016 presidential primaries for Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio, neither of whom represented anyone’s interests but their own, and who achieved what little popularity they had by channeling their archaic interpretation of Christianity into hate speech on par with Donald Trump’s.

 It should be obvious at this point that it’s futile to elect ethnically diverse members of the 1%. If minorities hope to be represented in government, they need to find, endorse and support the best and brightest minds from the streets.

Congress would be more representative of the people if seats were assigned according to race instead of state. That would also guarantee them minority representation, but they would have more representation than the current system that staffs the government with rich people who are good at pandering to the people they’ve made their fortunes exploiting.

Without solid leaders, race-based movements like Black Lives Matter, won’t accomplish anything other than inflaming racial tensions. So more than anything else, the call to action raised by the 2016 presidential election, should be for racial minorities to source their own leaders to challenge the status quo.

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