Tag Archives: funny wisdom

Deep Tweets by The Wise Sloth #4

When you’re learning a skill, don’t worry about failing. Just worry about not quitting.

Typically, you can’t be drunk and working towards self-actualization at the same time.

The less sober you are, the less focused on fulfilling the meaning of your life you are.

If you’re thinking of quirky ways to offer your employees conditional bonuses, it’s probably because you don’t pay them what they deserve.

The longer we debate/compare Capitalism, Socialism and Communism, the less time we spend designing a new system tailored to today’s needs.

A day you don’t teach yourself knowledge that helps you achieve your ultimate goal, is a day wasted.

The more someone hates you, the more likely you and them are both partially right.

The more you believe that only the natives in your country deserve to live and work there, the less you believe all humans are one family.

The more you shit test your lover, bitch at them and tear them down, the more threatened you should feel by sex robots. #theredpill

Every time you watch dumb TV shows or listen to dumb music, you vote for the world being dumb. Ultimately, that’s a vote for extinction.

The more you hate a group of people, the more you should question the motives of the people who warned you about that group… regardless.

The office building you dream about paradise from used to be paradise before an office building was built on it.

The more passionately you defend your beliefs, the more passionately you should question your beliefs.

The more you believe your culture should be imposed on the entire world, the more likely you’re a gullible follower in a terroristic cult.

The more you try to make your lover feel guilty, the more you fail at being a good lover.

If you didn’t compliment your lover today, you failed at being a good lover today.

If you didn’t tell your lover how much you value them today, you failed at being a good lover today.

The more you believe God ordained that your culture should be practiced on the land you were born on, the more gullible you probably are.

The more you believe that people who aren’t exactly like you are the root of your country’s problems, the more gullible you probably are.

The more you devote your life to policing other people’s sex lives, the less you devote your life to policing deadly human rights abuses.

I’m not saying, “Don’t challenge other people’s beliefs,” but you’d improve the world more by challenging your own beliefs.

The more you believe victimless crimes should be policed by the government, the less you believe in freedom.

In January 2017, Texas made it illegal to have a 3rd break light out. If this was for safety, all vehicles would be required to have them.

“Socialism = employee ownership of businesses with profit sharing

Socialism does not = nationalizing businesses to create a welfare state”

If you haven’t sold everything you own and given it all to the poor, don’t tell me you’re a Christian.

If the politicians and the media didn’t divide America into “left” and “right,” nobody else would.

I predict that by 2020, the price of literally everything you buy will include a “service charge” and/or “processing fee.”

If you argue that anyone who is anti-Trump is anti-America, then you must argue that anyone who is anti-Obama is anti-America. #trump

It’s cool that the poor live better than ever before, but getting hung up on that fact ignores that they still live in perpetual fear.


 

Your employees might have more pride in your company if you gave them paychecks they can feel proud of.

CNN being an embarrassment of a news outlet doesn’t change the fact that Donald Trump is an embarrassment of a president. #cnnblackmail

Don’t expect people you’re not nice to, to be nice to you.

Every American who hates immigrants, doesn’t tell the waiter at their favorite authentic Asian and Mexican food restaurants about it.

The Hollywood movie plot outline structure 

Charisma is a virtue, but the more intoxicatingly charismatic your leader is, the more likely they’re a sociopath and you’re gullible.

The more involved with a religious organization you are, the more useful it will be to you to study the red flags of cults and mythology.

Life won’t get better for the majority until sharing is more mainstream than greed.

You have more to gain by disproving your argument than by disproving your enemy’s.

Science is just theories, but religion is just mythology.

Religious people are like alcoholics. They can be functioning but not fully functioning.

If you’ve never Googled, “how to think objectively, reasonably and/or logically,” the evidence says you should assume you can’t…but should

TV shows with commercials are tantamount to commercials for commercials.

If you have to worry about your government taking away your access to health care, patriotism might be more suicidal than virtuous.

How much longer can we pretend Donald Trump is a real president? And by “we,” I mean, “Donald Trump.”

Stories are like Celtic knots. You can make good ones without planning, but there’s a limit to the elegance you can achieve. #writing

If you find yourself reluctantly admitting you were wrong about Trump being great, consider you were wrong about G. W. Bush being great also

Tales from The Wise Sloth: My UFO story 

Justifying hurting people is always justifying being one of the bad guys.

The more you think you know, the less it proves you do.

Nobody would know technology is tearing us apart, if technology hadn’t connected us.

The more famous you become, the less accurately you’ll be remembered.

You can overcome the punches the world throws at you. When you beat yourself up, you don’t have a fighting chance.

It’s surprising how many times you can have an excuse that sounds perfect on paper but doesn’t really apply or mean shit in reality.

Just because you took a class in college doesn’t mean you know shit about shit.

High schools really need to teach classes on defining and maintaing your self-worth.

I predict in 2020 Elizabeth Warren will beat Paul Ryan to be the U.S. president. Then she’ll change America about as much as Obama did.

Whoever told you not to ask questions and be skeptical probably also told you to give them money.

I’m ready for politicians to declare war on bills.

Any story of God coming to Earth in human form that involves God making booze for a party was probably written solely by humans.

If God is all-powerful and wants to forgive us, he never needed to sacrifice himself to himself before he could allow himself to forgive us.

It’s not mature to learn how to follow orders if you’re taught to obey psychopathic , sociopathic, greedy, megalomaniac, idiot leaders.

You’ll never be able to live in your dream home because you spent it building the dream homes of your favorite businesses’ owners.

Why hasn’t Hollywood made a TV series about a redneck MacGuyver yet? Emphasis on the word, “yet.”

It’s only a matter of time until we see a movie about Google inventing an artificial intelligence based on the internet’s hive mind.

Think about about how “successfully” L. Ron Hubbard invented his own religious cult. Then imagine what Alex Jones could accomplish.

Watching/waiting for politicians to do something right is slower and more exhausting than watching software installation progress bars. Sad.

When politicians tell you someone is coming to kill your family, it’s to distract you from noticing someone who is coming to take your money

You can’t come up with good ideas without coming up with bad ideas in the process.

Thinking about good things generally makes you feel good. Thinking about bad things generally makes you feel bad.

When I watched “Cool as Ice” at a drive-in movie theater, I didn’t know how old saying that would make me sound some day.

If you’ve ever heard of the town, Paris, TX and wonder what it’s like, I can tell you from experience, it’s the red neck Twilight Zone.

Invent a game like “Magic: The Gathering,” except instead of battling monsters, you do/learn what it takes to succeed in relationships.

If we need soldiers to be able to get dishonorable discharges, it must be more important for politicians to be subject to the same standard.

Don’t die without having told as many people as possible the most important knowledge you learned in your life.

Whenever someone says you have to give them a yes or no answer right now, say no.

 

It’s amazing how bad of a person you can be when you convince yourself you’re a ideal person.

Everyone is: 1.Insane 2. A child 3. So lost they don’t know how lost they are. When you understand that, dealing with people gets easier

If you’re not reading or listening to new knowledge daily, then don’t expect yourself to become much less idiotic.

The angrier you behave on the internet, the more you need to talk to a therapist about your past traumas.

FYI: Just because you had a child doesn’t mean you’re an adult.

It shouldn’t surprise you that Billionaires make bad presidents. All their professional experience revolves around exploiting the public.

Just once I’d like a politician to declare war on bullshit charges in bills like “processing fees,” “service fees,” etc.

I wish every page, video, picture and audio file on the internet had a button on it that lets you rank its quality and usefulness.

In a perfect world we would have instructional classes in school on dating, sex and masturbation.

Unless your goal is throwing away allies, you’re not winning anything by being mean to strangers.

The meaner your leadership philosophy is, the more you’re going to inspire your team to hate you and want you to fail.

In a perfect economy there would be no middle men.

People who don’t want to fuck you don’t go out of their way to talk to you.

Companies tell you their product is happiness, but they know what they’re really selling you is poverty.

My theory on why so many women have rape fantasies

I would have watched “Care Bears” when I was a kid if one of them was named “Jean Claude Van Damme Heart.”

Most meth users I’ve met aren’t idle. They work at jobs that almost require meth to make it through an exhausting, soul crushing work day

What I think about Satan 

Instead of staffing government mostly with lawyers , we should staff it mostly with computer programmers. Couldn’t be any worse.

If you believe in superstition, it shows you don’t think. Also, the belief that cuss words are evil is superstitious.

America is like a rice cake covered with Nutella, sweet and unfilling.

When I was taught how to eat a fancy dinner with redundant silverware, I thought, “Man, rich people have so few problems they create them.”

Don’t give parents tax breaks. Pay them through the DOE so they can be held accountable like teachers for their kids’ academic failures.

They tell you to go to college to learn. They don’t tell you half your professors will just teach you their shitty life story.

Poverty will always be epidemic as long as the rich make the rules.

Deep Tweets by The Wise Sloth: #1#2#3

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