A Modest Proposal On The Moral Imperative Of Teacher Accountability

America is at the peak of its reign as the greatest nation in the world/history. Having solved all other problems America has turned its benevolent gaze towards solving the education crises that has been slowly eroding our children’s future. The fundamental problem with education in America, as anyone can see, are teachers. The solution to this problem is more standardized testing and teacher accountability.

This approach to education reform is simple to the point of being elegant. Children take tests, which prove they’ve memorized all the information necessary to survive and thrive in the open, dynamic world they’ll spend the rest of their lives in. If a child fails their tests, it must be because their teacher wasn’t good enough. So that teacher needs to have reprimands filed in their permanent record to establish a paper trail so they can ultimately be fired and blacklisted. Then a fresh teacher straight out of college can come in and give the students a proper education that will set them up to succeed at their standardized tests and thus life.

The solution to the education crisis is so blatantly clear, the only question left is, why don’t we expand this proven method to every other public service sector? If police fail to lower crime in an area, they need to be fired so we can bring in new recruits who know how to get the job done. If social workers fail to pull %88 of their clients out of poverty, then why should we pay them? Put a black mark on their permanent record so they can never work in their field again. If a state fails to meet Utopian benchmarks of quality of living, we need to hold the people accountable who were responsible for the well-being of the people. Fire the mayors, the governors, and congressmen. Give them jobs they can handle, like cleaning state parks. Then, let’s pay someone to look for trash, and if they find any, we fire the state park officials.

I can’t wait for the day that not only our school systems are standardized and privatized, but the entire government as well. Let’s face it. In order to get the best police chiefs, mayors, congressmen, generals, and presidents, we need to offer them the same incentives the private sector offers. We need for-profit police departments, for-profit prisons, for-profit health and safety regulatory institutions, for-profit militaries (that’s right, plural), and a for-profit judicial, legislative, and executive branch of government. Most importantly, we need a for-profit accountability department that meticulously scrutinizes everyone’s performance to ensure maximum productivity.

In a perfect world, I’d like to see students and parents held to the same standards as teachers. If a student fails their standardized tests, then we should cut to the chase and send them, their parents, and their teachers straight past the poor house to the prison sweatshops. If they fail to make their quotas there, then we march them out to a field along with the prison warden and shoot all four of them in their heads like the lame workhorses they are.  I could be wrong, but that’s the only way I see to ensure everyone is accountable and successful… and the only way we’re ever going to build a Utopian society is if everyone is accountable and successful, right?

 

If you enjoyed this post, you’ll also like these:

 

The Importance of Public Education
Flaws in the Public Education System
Improving Public Education

 

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