I’ve been blogging on thewisesloth.com since 2009, and I’ve never really had a strategy about what topics I write about. Mainly, I just ask myself, “What’s the most important topic I can write about?” Sometimes I ask, “What’s going on in the world that pisses me off most today?” It’s not that I want to scream and scare people. I want to solve the problem that’s affecting our lives. The way I approach issues comes off as cynical sometimes, but I try to come from an angle that reveals deeper negative truths with a positive call to action. I want my readers to come away from The Wise Sloth thinking, “The world is more messed up than I thought it was, but I feel like I understand it better now. As overwhelming as looking into the chaos can be, I see why there’s hope for the future.”
In 2014 I joined Twitter.com as @the_wise_sloth. I didn’t have a plan there either, and I was skeptical about the platform in the first place, but it has helped me profoundly in real life and allowed me to gain 2,100 more followers. Before Twitter, I carried a notebook with me everywhere I went so I could write down blog ideas and quote-sized bits of wisdom I’d come up with through the day. Eventually the ideas would get lost in old pages I never found the time to look at again.
Now I just Tweet all my quips, which shares them instantly, stores them permanently, and are easy to retrieve. I still carry a notebook to write in, but it’s a lot more organized since I don’t have one-liners scribbled all over the margins.
After posting 1,700 Tweets, I decided to go back and see what I’d written. I exported my Tweets to a document and took out all the links and pictures until there was only original content left. Then I organized them into categories and put them into a book. To my slight surprise, the table of contents is very similar to my blog’s, focusing on advice, motivation, inspiration, religion, politics, economics, philosophy, culture and sex.
This book represents my collected wisdom from the past four years, which is based on a lifetime of trying to figure out what the hell is going on around me. It’s often irreverent, funny and controversial, but always enlightening. I hope you enjoy it, and it gives you good food for thought in your search for wisdom.
If you have Amazon prime, you can download the E-book for free from September 19-23. The paperback version will be available on Amazon in a few days for $5. You can subscribe to my Twitter feed for free, and I’ll be posting chapters here as well.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
- Happiness and sadnessFulfillment, purpose and meaning
Maturity, adulting, and growing up
Being mean vs. being nice
Arrogance and insecurity
Excuses and complaining
Practice, failing, and determination
Writing, art, and creativity
Eating and hydrating
Exercise and stretching
- Sex, Relationships and Friendship
How to love and succeed in a relationship
Cheating, breaking up, and exes
Masturbation, oral sex and lust
Problem solving and thinking objectively
Religion is mythology
The Bible is messed up
Faith vs. reason
Churches and clergy
Religion’s negative effect on the world
What if God exists?
- The 2016 Presidential Election
The nomination process
The campaign trail
Political incompetence and inefficiency
Racism and xenophobia
- Police and Law Enforcement
The industrial prison complex
Abuse of power, harassment and fear
Quotas, tickets, fees and fines
The NSA and TSA
- War and The Military
War is about money
Enlisting is not helping
Wars in the Middle East
- Social Justice Warriors
Modern Feminism = Misandry
Racism against white people
Privilege and hypocrisy
Poverty and poor people
Capitalism and rich people
Communism and Socialism
- American Pop Culture and Mass Media
Television and movies
Ideas for shows and movies
Popular products and brands
Advertising and commercials
Failing at the internet
Ideas for apps and sites
HAPPINESS AND SADNESS
The more time you put into thinking about things that make you sad and angry, the sadder and angrier you’ll probably be.
Thinking about good things generally makes you feel good. Thinking about bad things generally makes you feel bad.
Holding other people accountable for how you feel disempowers you and burdens them.
The more effort you put into thinking about things that make you happy and inspire you, the happier and more inspired you’ll probably be.
The longer you drink because you’re depressed, the more likely you’re still depressed because you’re still drinking.
The sources of people’s unhappiness are usually found in their lifestyle. If you’re unhappy, that’s where your life probably needs change.
If you cash a lottery ticket and use the winnings to buy cigarettes in lieu of payment, that’s a metaphor for your level of hope in life.
The people I know who have been depressed the longest tend to have spent the least amount of time actively engaging themselves in treatment.
If you hate yourself, your life is going to suck no matter what… until you deal with why you hate yourself.
When things are good, tell yourself they’re good. When things are bad, tell yourself good things are possible.
You can overcome the punches the world throws at you. When you beat yourself up, you don’t have a fighting chance.
If someone pushes you down, it’s their fault you’re down. If you don’t do everything you can to get up, it’s your fault you’re still down.
If you think about solutions to your problems more than the causes, you’re going to have a better time.
Your day will probably be as wonderful as you are.
It’s harder to appreciate life when you’re poisoning your body every day.
Your life won’t improve until you improve your thoughts.
If you’re ever feeling bad, try thinking of something good.
You won’t find peace outside of you until you find peace inside of you.
Don’t expect life to just calm you down, center and focus your attention every day. If you don’t consciously do that yourself it won’t happen.
You could hold on tightly to all the regrets, grievances and pains of your past forever… but what would be the point?
You’d think the pickier you are, the sweeter life will be, but the less picky you are, the less difficult life will be.
With everything wrong in the world today, you’ll explode if you don’t master the art of being mad without feeling mad.
You are not the sum of the way people have treated you.
You deserve more kudos than the world gives you. Don’t resent it. Just know it.
Everyone could eliminate at least half their problems by just shutting their mouth and not bitching and complaining about bullshit.
If you don’t think happy thoughts when things suck, then life is just pretty much always going to suck.
The more you tell yourself the world is on your shoulders, the more it will feel like it.
It takes less time to be calm than it does to panic.
If life doesn’t give you excuses to be happy, you just have to do it yourself or be miserable forever.
Step one of everything you will ever do is to love yourself.
FULFILLMENT, PURPOSE, AND MEANING
The meaning of life isn’t to have the thing you want most. It’s to become the person you want most.
You can spend today fretting about what was or is… or you can spend today creating what will be.
If you don’t have a plan how you’re going to make life better for yourself, it won’t happen.
If you’re not making time to do the things you love, the reason it feels like you’re not really living is because you haven’t started.
If you haven’t worked towards your goal today, then having fun and playing games isn’t rewarding yourself. It’s how you’re failing.
If you’ve never asked yourself what you would do with your free time if you won the lottery then you may not have defined your destiny.
Obsessing over how much you’re worth squanders time you could spend getting on with your life.
Trying something new is usually preferable to doing something old. Even if you don’t like it, you still learn something new. That’s winning.
Life is more about what you do than what you have.
Life is more about who you are than what you do.
The people who hurt you in the past don’t exist anymore… and neither do the people they hurt.
Learn something new every day and it’s only a matter of time until you become a better person… especially if you learn important things.
If you drink and smoke every day… that’s probably all you’ll ever be able to afford to do.
If you could learn anything, what would you learn? If you’re not already learning it, why aren’t you?
Control your thoughts and you control your destiny. Or did you have something better to do than control your destiny?
Doing things that improve your life = worldly success. Succeeding at the expense of other people’s quality of life = existential failure.
The future matters more than the past.
Every city in the world has opportunities that only exist there and nowhere else. Take advantage of yours.
Constantly listen to old songs that your brain already associates with previous experiences and thoughts? You may be living in the past.
If you’re hyperactive and can’t stay still, and you don’t have a hobby, you’re leaving money and meaning on the table.
MATURITY, ADULTING AND GROWING UP
Think of humans as wind-up chimps on autopilot who don’t realize they’re on autopilot. Everything everyone does will make much more sense.
Everyone is: 1.Insane 2. A child 3. So lost they don’t know how lost they are. When you understand that, dealing with people gets easier
If you can find out where a person came from and where they want to go, then you can predict what they’ll likely do in-between.
How to be an adult: Don’t get hurt, defensive and belligerent when someone informs you you’re wrong about something. Instead, say thank you.
The dumber the individual, the dumber the whole. We all have a personal and civic responsibility to not be stupid.
Part of growing up is learning to bring closure to bad memories without the involvement of the people who gave you those memories.
If you call me, “sir,” I won’t think you’re respectful. I’ll think you’ve been brainwashed into subjugating yourself.
Responsibility is doing what you need before doing what you want.
FYI: Just because you had a child doesn’t mean you’re an adult.
To better understand why you are the way you are, ask your parents to explain in detail what your life was like between ages 1-5.
Adulting consists mainly of fulfilling contrived responsibilities that exist only because governments, bosses and bankers are exploiting us.
Kids, don’t get too excited about getting into the adult world and being treated like an adult. You never stop getting treated like a kid.
Statistically speaking, you should be gravely concerned about your inability to accept responsibility for your actions.
Just because you’re older doesn’t mean you’re right. More likely it means you’ve been wrong a long time.
You can’t pretend you’re not old anymore after you start meeting kids who are too young to remember the things that defined your childhood.
How to be an adult: Realize that your age has no bearing on how much other people should respect you or how much you should respect them.
Hurting someone all the time trains them to feel hurt and angry all the time.
It’s baffling how few parents have written instruction books for life to give to their children.
Your kids will freak out over the same size problems as you, to the same extent as you. Don’t show them how to be a spoiled, whiny bitch.
If you had shitty parents, you should seek therapy. If you know someone who had shitty parents, they should seek therapy.
Children need and want answers just as much as adults, but all they get from adults are mythologies and psychotic cartoons.
The way you make your children feel when they’re young is pretty much how they’ll feel when they’re old.
BEING MEAN VS BEING NICE
Unless your goal is throwing away allies, you’re not winning anything by being mean to strangers.
If you want to turn a bad person good, educating them is far more effective than scaring them.
Don’t expect people you’re not nice to, to be nice to you.
If you value life, then treat it with respect. Boom. Morality explained.
Justifying hurting people is always justifying being one of the bad guys.
Nobody has to be mean to you because you did something wrong. When someone is mean, it’s because they’re mean.
It’s amazing how bad of a person you can be when you convince yourself you’re an ideal person.
If you choose to bail someone out every time they screw up, their problems will always be your problems and yours alone.
If you can’t figure out a better way to respond to anger than with hatred… you’re obviously not trying.
You’d be surprised what people will give you sometimes if you just ask.
If you have a good reason to be mean to someone, it doesn’t mean you’re justified. It means you’re great at justifying being an asshole.
When someone asks for forgiveness for something they’re not really sorry for, they’re really asking for permission.
The more dogmatically you label yourself the good guy and someone else the bad guy, the more capable of evil you become.
You can measure how horrible of a person you are by how small an inconvenience it takes to make you mean.
There are 2 kinds of people: ones who treat others well because they care and ones who treat others bad because they only care about themself.
If you’re the only person in the world you care about, then why should anyone care about you?
Anytime you send food back at a restaurant, assume whatever you get back has spit in it, even if your complaint was valid.
If you only care about yourself, you don’t give other people much reason to care about you. In fact, you give them good reason not to.
An apology is not a substitute for changing bad behavior.
Everyone deserves a second chance, but be aware that almost nobody ever changes.
The better you are at making people happy, the more the world will be your oyster.
Everyone is partly good & bad. You can choose to focus/dwell on either side. Both are right, but beware where both paths lead you.
Having a bad day is not a valid excuse to be hurtful to other people. But any 10 year old could have told you that.
Everyone loves freedom until you do something they wouldn’t. Then freedom is offensive and frightening.
Everyone has hurt someone. So we may as well either preemptively hate everyone or forgive everyone.
Every time you feel you’ve won an argument, there’s a 50/50 chance you just dogmatically defended your completely wrong self-serving delusion.
Whatever tone of voice you use with someone, they’ll probably use the same one back.
You can only be mean to someone so many times before they act mean back to you. Same goes with being kind.
You’ll almost always be swamped with important, pressing issues. Festering over people who wronged you ages ago is never a priority.
Every time you’re rude to someone you burn a bridge to an ally.
You can measure how horrible you’re capable of being by adding up all the situations where you believe being mean to others is justified.
If more than 2 people have called you an asshole, it’s probably because you are.
There’s a direct correlation between how much a person looks at things from others’ point of view and their tendency to kindness/hurtfulness.
If you have time to bitch about other people, you have time to do anything else that doesn’t waste your time being petty and negative.
No one but you is responsible for you throwing a tantrum.
Making cars wait as you walk across the road all slow and gangsta lets strangers know you’re selfish, petty and insecure, not tough.
Crushing people’s hand when you shake it is a great way to let people know you have to make a dick waving competition out of everything.
ARROGANCE AND INSECURITY
Everyone knows something you don’t, even the greatest fool you loath.
People will respect you more if you act like their equal than if you grovel at their feet and give them higher honors than you give yourself.
The more you think you know, the less it proves you do.
If nobody gets you, it’s more likely because you’re an arrogant idiot surrounded by rational people, than everybody else is evil and stupid.
90% of the times you apologize for your flaws, people would like you more if you just owned them.
Everyone knows more about something than anyone else. Nobody knows squat about everything. Our minds are as unique as our faces.
The bigger the ego, the smaller the mind.
You don’t over apologize because you’re obsessed with other people’s comfort but because you’re obsessed with projecting your insecurities.
The amount you are more or less stupid than anyone else is fractions of a degree.
Everyone detests arrogant people. Know that when you walk around acting like you’re better than everyone…everyone is looking down on you.
Everyone whose opinion of you, you worry about will die one day. Then their opinion won’t matter one damn bit, as it never did.
Everyone is smarter than the average person about at least one thing.
Bragging is far more likely to convince people you’re a pompous ass than a bad ass.
The difference between confident and cocky is that the first means, “I got it covered.” The second says, “I’m better than you.”
The more often you brag about how smart you are, the more wrong you probably are.
The more you tell people how much smarter you are than most people, the more likely you’re just dumb and arrogant.
Every time you try to sound smart, you just sound like you’re trying to sound smart, which smart people know smart people don’t do.
Nobody you knew yesterday is the same person today.
Nobody wants you to impress them. They just want you to entertain and flatter them.
Patting yourself on the back is like shaking your dick after peeing. If you do it more than twice, you’re jerking off.
When anyone starts jerking themselves off about how smart they are to you, stop them and say, “Hey, we all got supercomputers in our heads.”
Just because someone says something you disagree with, that doesn’t mean they’re against you. They may just be for facts, and you’re wrong.
Getting mad at people when you don’t get what you want usually indicates you’re the selfish bad guy, and your enemy is the real victim.
Proving to people you’re right all the time is more likely a symptom of your insecurity and shortsightedness than strength and genius.
People only argue semantics when they don’t have a real argument.
Step 1: Give someone advice. Step 2: Listen to why they’re not going to take it.
I’m not saying don’t help people. Just be aware that giving people constructive criticism is more likely to piss them off than help them.
Someone who isn’t thinking rationally won’t come to a rational conclusion even if you serve it to them on a silver platter.
If you meet a dragon, don’t have a fire- breathing contest with it.
The more times you use the word “fuck” in an argument, the less favorable the outcome is likely to be for you.
The only person who really wins in an argument is the one who learns something.
You wouldn’t be arguing if your opponent were willing to listen. Arguing is just a test to see who’ll shout loudest and who’ll give up first.
Life’s tough. Life’s tougher when you get furious over semantics.
The more you don’t want to hear you’re wrong, the more you’re probably wrong.
If you’re always angrily proving you’re right, you’re probably actually angrily defending your misconceptions.
You learn and grow more from listening than from talking.
There is no problem that can’t be solved without being an ass hole.
Getting defensive and arguing every time someone tries to correct you or give you advice won’t get you as far in life as you seem to think.
Science is just drawing conclusions from evidence. The only time people hate evidence-ology is when they’re refusing to admit they’re wrong.
If you’re always bitching it’s because you’re always looking for things to bitch about.
If your loved ones never call out your flaws, they’re either too horrible to want to help you, or they know you’re too horrible to listen.
There’s no point arguing with people who value winning more than truth, which in my experience, is most people.
Disregarding useful advice just because the person giving it is a fool or a hypocrite is foolishness. You can learn something from anyone.
Everybody who knows you knows what’s wrong with you, but they won’t tell you because they know you won’t listen.
If someone accuses you of doing something bad and you get aggressively defense, you’re not looking at the situation from their point of view.
If someone tells you that you fucked up, there’s more than a 50% chance they’re not completely wrong.
If you contradict everything I say, then I’m going to give up trying to talk to you.
EXCUSES AND COMPLAINING
If you’ve got time to come up with excuses, you’ve got time to come up with solutions.
By all means, complain when life sucks, but complain while you’re doing something about it.
At some point you have to stop bitching about the hand you were dealt and get on with playing the game the best you can with what you got.
There tends to be an inverse correlation between the amount of time you spend complaining and the amount of time you spend doing something.
“I did the best I could,” is usually an excuse used by people who didn’t do the best they could.
It’s surprising how many times you can have an excuse that sounds perfect on paper but doesn’t really apply or mean shit in reality.
There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who have an excuse for everything, and those who don’t have to make excuses.
You can’t move your life forward by making excuses dismissing action, but you can by making excuses dismissing your excuses against acting.
The more you complain about a problem, the less you’re probably doing anything about it.
Nothing was ever built on excuses.
Your dreams are waiting for you to stop making excuses.
I’ve watched excuses ruin more people’s lives than anything else.
Today’s excuses become tomorrow’s regrets.
You don’t hear maggots at the bottom of trash bags asking why life isn’t fair. Well, we’re maggots at the bottom of a cosmic trash bag.
PRACTICE, FAILING AND DETERMINATION
Experience has taught me that you only have two options in life: 1. Kick life in the balls. 2. Get kicked in the balls by life.
Focus on what you’re doing, not what you want. You climb a mountain by taking steps, not by obsessively staring at the peak.
The fastest, easiest, best shortcut to climbing a mountain, still usually involves climbing a mountain.
Failure = practice.
Failing is practicing, and practicing is succeeding.
When you’re learning a skill, don’t worry about failing. Just worry about not quitting.
All things are possible to those who turn off the TV, get up off their ass, go do something and never quit.
Growing experiences tend to come with growing pains. Accept it. Embrace it. Get on with it.
If you’re going to spend the next hour or so feeling depressed about how empty and hopeless everything is, do it while exercising. #LifeHack
You can’t become a pro until you’ve made all the rookie mistakes.
The more mistakes you make doing something, the more qualified you become to master that thing.
Just because you haven’t done something doesn’t mean you can’t do that thing.
When you feel bored and uninspired, clean your house. You need to do it anyway. You have the time, and you’ll feel good about it afterwards.
Whenever I fail at something, I imagine myself as a young Babe Ruth striking out.
If you do one thing all day, every day, it’s only a matter of time until you become professionally good at that thing.
Success requires energy. Does your lifestyle boost or drain your energy? There might be a correlation.
Sticking to a decision requires a reason, not will power.
You can get your video game character to level 60 or your real self in real life to level 60. Pick one.
The best competitors show up to very few competitions you compete in. Sometimes bad competitors win because they’re the only people there.
We’re born with potential, not talent. Abnormally high talent comes only from abnormally frequent, persistent study and practice.
WRITING, ART, AND CREATIVITY
Writer = idea maker + communicator.
Each thought only comes around once a lifetime. Unless no part of you cares about them being lost/remembered, write them down. Last chance.
You’ve learned something everywhere you’ve been. If you don’t write it down, it’s only a matter of time until you forget.
You’re more likely to succeed as an author by writing 100 books that are 80% perfect than writing 1 book that is 100% perfect.
Hero + need + opportunity + condition + plan + decision… drives hero to fulfill condition requirements to get that which satisfies the need.
Writer’s block is just anxiety and panic attacks. To master the art of getting through writer’s block, Google “steps to overcoming anxiety.”
Every writer should Tweet on Twitter to gain experience condensing sentences to the bare essentials.
Writers have two choices: 1. Write about the most important topics they can 2. Write things that distract people from more important topics
You can’t come up with good ideas without coming up with bad ideas in the process.
Stories are like Celtic knots. You can make good ones without planning, but there’s a limit to the elegance you can achieve.
By expressing yourself, you create yourself.
It’s an inconvenient truth that the quality and quantity of art produced by a nation increases with the quality and quantity of drugs available to its artists.