11 things I learned from blogging on Myspace

1. Be as clear and articulate as possible with what you say. Don’t make any statements half cocked. Don’t overgeneralize. Don’t assume people know the difference between what you mean and what you say. People will rip you a new asshole with extreme prejudice if there are any holes in your argument or any basis uncovered.

2. Having said that, no matter how clear you make your statement there will be people who don’t “get it.” Maybe they just skimmed over your blog and didn’t take the time to understand it. Maybe they believe something different and are only interested in expressing their point of view and refuse to hear what you have to say. Maybe they’re just a dick looking for someone to belittle to justify their shallow sense of self-worth. Maybe they’re just stupid. All of these people are out there, and they’re going to read your blog and attack you. Don’t let it get to you. Accept that there are people who disagree with you. Don’t delete their comments unless they attack you personally.

3. If they do make it personal then delete their comments and block their profile. If you want to hurt a conceited attention whore then the worst thing you can do to them is ignore them and delete their comments so nobody else will know they exist. Arguing with them isn’t going to accomplish anything except to give them exactly what they want.

4. On the same token, don’t attack commenters personally, yourself. If you think a group of people are doing something stupid and/or immoral then blog about it without holding back. Otherwise you’re not standing up for what you believe in. However, when an individual disagrees with you in the form of a comment (as long as they don’t attack you personally) then leave their comment. If you choose to argue with them then stick to analyzing the topic of conversation professionally. Once you attack your commenters personally then the search for truth ends and a childish/pointless war begins that only results in proving that you, yourself are a dick.

5. Who you are is more important than what you have to say. The top blog spots are always taken up by hot chicks or douche bag celebrities talking about lame shit like getting a cup of coffee. I’ve actually considered changing my profile pick to a hot chick because I know it’ll sky rocket my popularity into the stratosphere. But on second thought…fuck that. My integrity is more important than popularity.

6. Appealing to the lowest common denominator will get you farther than appealing to the highest common denominator. Hey, I love a sexy body as much as the next person. I even enjoy dick and fart jokes. But I love philosophy too. But if you want to achieve popularity then posting sexy photos and dick and fart jokes will get you farther in the social standings than talking about things that matter.

7. If you want to be popular then you need to know that “tip for tap” is the name of the game. If you post comments on all the most popular blogs and keep posting comments then the other popularity whores will comment on yours. All the top non-celebrity and non-hot chick bloggers know this. That’s just the name of the game. P.S. That’s a tip, not a criticism. But if I don’t comment on your blogs tip for tap then understand that I’m not interested in popularity. So if you’re commenting on my blogs expecting tip for tap then stop. If I want to comment on your blog because I feel I have something relevant to add then I will.

8. Don’t argue about creationism. Ever. …unless you’re only interested in blog-view numbers. There’s no topic of conversation that’ll bring more views and more anger to your blog than arguing about creationism. But know that you’re not going to actually bring any type of closure to the argument.

9. Blogging on MySpace won’t make you a wealthy celebrity…unless you’re a hot chick or you cater to the lowest common denominator.

10. MySpace is a great place to get feedback about whatever ideas you have to express. Ironically, the most productive feedback you’re going to get will be from the assholes you hate you and want to point out any minute flaw in your ideas they can, which they’ll do with extreme prejudice. Sometimes you’ll need to block these assholes because they’re just too belligerent and unhealthy to keep in your “life.” However, their tirades usually have some worth in showing you how you can improve your thought process.

11. Keep blogging. Despite the dangers it’s still worth it. If nothing else it helps you articulate yourself. Sometimes it gives you a self-esteem boost. Sometimes it helps sharpen your edge. Sometimes it lets you know when you’re being a douche. It certainly teaches you a lot about human nature. And fuck it. Between the ups and downs it’s fun…and cheaper than World of Warcraft.

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