It’s Time To Stop Celebrating Easter

Easter is a holiday that honors a Jewish zombie rising from the dead after being brutally mutilated, and the way we celebrate this macabre event is by having children search for painted eggs that were hidden by a Pagan rabbit. None of that makes any sense.

Sanity is defined, “having or showing reason, sound judgment, or good sense.” There’s nothing sane about Easter, and when children see adults putting so much effort into doing insane things, it teaches children that insanity is the norm. That’s no way to go through life, but that’s how we raise children. We condition them to believe in and defend irrationality by raising them on irrationality.

Parents may defend telling their children outright lies by saying it’s all in good fun and that kids know the difference between fantasy and reality anyway. But why set up your children to have to spend a single minute of their childhood trying to figure out when their guardians are lying and when they’re telling the truth? Teaching your children to celebrate mythological holidays is a recipe for disaster that you went out of our way to create that you didn’t have to.

Please world, please stop celebrating Easter. I know it’s cozy and cute (aside from the human mutilation part), and there’s nothing wrong with getting together with your family and friends to eat BBQ while the kids eat candy. That’s great. That’s so great in fact that we should do it anyway without having to re-enact mythological events we don’t believe in. Life is short and hard enough without feeling socially pressured to go through pseudo-religious holiday charades every year. If we all stop tuning into ridiculous holidays then someday we’ll shed them off our calendars, and we can just celebrate life for its own sake…on BBQ Day, a sensible holiday.



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