Tweets by The Wise Sloth #15: Churches, Clergy and Religious Hypocrisy

 

Cartoon image of a sloth sitting on a mountain top. He is wearing a yellow robe. His head is bowed with his eyes shut, and beams of light shine from around his head. With his left arm, he is holding one finger in the air. Above him are the words, "Tweets by The Wise Sloth."

The latest Pope is doing a terrible job of pretending to have a direct connection with the creator of the universe.

Putting money in a church offering plate doesn’t grease God’s palms, just the clergy’s.

Putting money in a church offering plate doesn’t show God how much you care. It just shows men in expensive clothes how gullible you are.

Whoever told you not to ask questions and be skeptical probably also told you to give them money.

The more involved with a religious organization you are, the more useful it will be to you to study the red flags of cults and mythology.

The quickest way to piss off someone in a cult is to tell them they’re in a cult.

I think it was Jesus who said, “If you want treasure in Heaven, then go, sell all your church’s multimedia equipment and give to the poor.”

Christianity would benefit from churches paying taxes, because it would reduce con artists’ incentive to open churches and preach bullshit.

If Christians got their morals from the Bible, they wouldn’t make excuses to disregard the archaic rules in the Bible they don’t believe.

If you hate the Quran for saying it’s okay to kill non-Muslims, then you should hate the Torah for saying it’s okay to kill non-Jews.

It’s ironic when Muslims say Islam is a religion of peace, since Muslim extremists have killed more Muslims than non-Muslims by magnitudes.

The Bible doesn’t say, “If you want to be perfect, oppress gays.” It says, “If you want to be perfect, give away everything you own.”

If you’re a Christian, and haven’t given everything to the poor, I assume you either don’t know what the Bible says or you lack conviction.

If you haven’t sold everything you own and given it all to the poor, don’t tell me you’re a Christian.

The more expensive of a car you drive to church the more you’re defeating the purpose.

The Bible is against homosexuality and adultery, but you will never ever hear a Christian rail against adulterers marrying. Ever.

Christmas is about pretending it’s about love or religion while you’re really just being a gullible consumer whore who is in denial.

When Christians say they don’t know or believe the Bible unambiguously approves of slavery, I assume they’re totally Biblically illiterate.

The Bible says divorce is evil because women are property. If you don’t believe in slavery, there’s no Biblical reason not to get divorced.

An honest history book would call The Spanish Inquisition, “The Christian Inquisition” and The Crusades, “The Christian Wars.”

The more you believe God ordained that your culture should be practiced on the land you were born on, the more gullible and dangerous you are.

I love how freedom of religion prevents oppression but hate how much it’s used to justify oppressing those who want to be free from religion.

When someone says, “I’ll pray for you.” What they’re really saying is, “I’ll do nothing for you while being self-righteous about it.”

The more you devote your life to policing other people’s sex lives, the less you devote your life to policing deadly human rights abuses.

If you believe in superstition, it shows you don’t think. Also, the belief that cuss words are evil is superstitious.

If any religion has instructions on killing, it’d be foolish to say, “As long as nobody gets hurt, who cares what religion people believe?”

Religious people are like alcoholics. They can be functioning but not fully functioning.

Moderate Americans and Muslims should strategize to redouble their efforts to educate their extreme members instead of passively enabling them.

God doesn’t give you strength. You give yourself permission to be strong (but deny yourself credit) by convincing yourself God did it.

You need to forgive yourself, not convince yourself that God has.

 

If you enjoyed these Tweets, you’ll also like these:

My Tweets About Self-Help
My Tweets About Romance
My Tweets About Philosophy 
My Tweets About Religion
My Tweets About Politics
My Tweets About Economics
My Tweets About Pop Culture
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