If you’re just finishing high school and are about to enter the adult workforce, your brain is probably full lofty ideas about what to expect. You were likely raised to believe if you work hard, then all your dreams will come true. You were told your future employers are looking for bright, creative problem solvers who are energetically looking to change the world. You may have also had it beat into your head that all humans were created equal and everyone has the right to life, liberty, dignity and the pursuit of happiness. Well, let me save you a few years of slow, painful, confused disillusionment and just pop your bubble right now. All of those promises were lies.
The economy isn’t designed to help each and every individual achieve their full potential. It’s designed to make business owners and investors as rich as possible at all costs. Bear that in mind when you apply to work at a business. Their bottom line isn’t their workers’ lives. It’s profit.
The managers who will be interviewing you understand this. They don’t care about your happiness, potential or fulfillment. They don’t even care about improving the company. Those kinds of big decisions are made by people who do business on golf courses and never get their hands dirty. Your managers’ job is to be your slave driver. They take orders from above and make sure everyone below them keeps their noses to the grindstone. So the last thing in the world they want to hear an interviewee say is, “I’m a genius who wants to change the world and a creative problem solver who can help you improve your business.”
If you say something like that to a prospective employer, all they’ll hear is, “I’m going to question your instructions at every turn and be a huge pain in your ass. Plus, I’ll probably end up quitting when I realize I’m nothing but a disposable cog in a machine that will be worn down, broken and replaced at your convenience.”
If you want to win the interview game, don’t tell your boss how bright and creative you are. Instead, stress how eager you are to serve and how good you are at following orders. You don’t want to come across like you can’t think for yourself, but when in doubt, err on the side of caution. It’s better to come across as an obedient dog than a self-respecting human being.
When you do finally begin your life of thankless toil, remember to live up to the promises you made in your interview. Never tell your boss any good ideas you have for the business. It’s not that they’ll see your potential and realize that you would be better at their job than them and thus feel threatened by you. There’s no chance of you taking their job. Business doesn’t work that way. They’ll just peg you for an insolent brat who doesn’t know your place. So act like your boss, and don’t ask questions. Just take your orders and complete them.
Also, remember to address your superiors the way a slave would address their master: by calling them “sir” or “ma’am” gratuitously. And always smile and pretend like the greatest thing to ever happen to you was being granted the esteemed privilege of sacrificing your life to make your employer richer. They’ll appreciate that, not enough to pay you a fair share of the profits your work generates for the company, but enough not to fire you and replace you with the next poor person willing to trade their dignity for a paycheck.
If this kind of life doesn’t sound appealing to you then start your own business, and do the future generation a favor: Don’t run it the way your parent’s generation ran theirs. Give your employees a fair share of the profits, and treat them like they’re more important than your next car.
If you enjoyed this post, you’ll also like these:
Predatory Capitalism Creates Poverty
- Poverty is the root of the world’s biggest problems, and predatory capitalism is the root of poverty
- The fundamental problem with the economy
- The poor aren’t taking all your money. The rich are.
- 7 economic injustices we all accept
- The downside of economic growth
- Cost/benefit analysis of economic oppression
- How predatory capitalism warps the way we define maturity
- The lottery is a microcosm of America
- Stop talking about guns and start talking about poverty
- How the economy works (Comic)
Socialism and Communism
- Americans need to learn the difference between socialism, communism, and capitalism
- Billionaires won’t save you, and socialism won’t kill you
- Who will help me make some bread? (Short story)
The Life of the Rich
- The legacy of a billionaire
- The letter I’ll never send my CEO
- This Was Your Life: The billionaire (Comic)
- How becoming a billionaire works (Comic)
The Life of the Poor
- What it’s like to be poor
- My American Beauty-esque rant about life in America
- Why do poor people play the lottery?
- Why are Americans so violent and unhappy?
- You might be depressed because the system is crazy, not because you are
- The Adventures of Monk and Punk: Book 1 (Comic)
- Occupy LOL Street: The Plight of the Homeless (Comic)
Oppression in the Workplace
- Stop treating people like shit and they’ll start giving a fuck
- 7 ways worker’s rights still need to improve
- 7 reasons minimum wage should be higher
- The injustice of employee contracts
- Professionalism is a straitjacket
- We need to do more to help people get the job they’re suited for
- The customer is not always right
- A Brief History of the Working Class (Comic)
Success and Retirement
- Life Path Flow Chart
- Why does it have to be so hard to retire?
- How to escape poverty
- Have a healthy balance of passion and duty
- Is it lazy to not want to work?
The Housing Market
- The housing market is a crime against humanity
- Suburbia is a sensory deprivation chamber
- How the housing market works (Comic)
Healthcare in America
The Stock Market
- How the stock market works (Comic)
- How bank greeters work (Comic)
- How freedom works (Comic)
- What America’s class and tax system really looks like
- 12 Things wrong with America’s tax system
- Why do so many small businesses fail?
- A novel approach to taxing the rich
- Introduction to cryptocurrency
- The most important factor in the value of cryptocurrencies, and how it applies to STEEM
Fixing the Economy
- My 1-point plan on how to save the world
- Humanity’s quality of life is relative to the quality of business model we use
- Politics won’t stop being evil until economics stops being evil
- Collapse is the product of unsustainability. Sustainability is the product of sustainability.
- The economy needs a love stimulus
- The world won’t get better until you stop being a consumer whore
- Buy a better world by donating dividends
- One dollar equals one vote in the economy