Category Archives: Art

Trippy Celtic Pictures I Drew Over The Years

Eight pointed star made using only one line that overlaps and connects to itself. The star was red, but the paper it was drawn on got water damage, bleeding the color

An outline of a four leaf clover woven around the outline of a Canadian maple leaf

Complicated spiral of interweaving lines inside a circle with a black background

Head and shoulder portrait style drawing of an anthropomorphic sloth wearing a military uniform and helmet. Above the portrait it says, "SLOTH SQUAD OF DOOM."

A trippy and creepy self-portrait of myself with hard angles and dark shading. To the left of him are the words, "Bounce your ideas off as many walls as possible."

An Iron Cross made from the negative space between two concentric circles and a ring of eight smaller circles and four chevrons

Complicated drawing of a lot of trippy, squiggly lines, an Om inside the outline of a gear and a drawing of Heather Kozar naked, with swirling lines covering her sex organs

The same picture of Heather Kozar as above, but taken from a farther distance to show more of the squiggly lines, but at the expense of showing detail

Crisp pencil drawing of a man raising a fist, made from random black shapes. This is done on the margin of a piece of notebook paper, and definitions of words can be seen to the right of the red margin line

The outline of a gear with a circle and star inside it, woven together

Notbook paper covered in a collage of various images (mostly faces, animals and common objects) that fit together like abstract puzzle pieces

Watercolor picture of a treble cleff with a dolphin jumping through it

Trippy picture of half a man's face, surrounded by creepy, crawling black lines that turn into a demonic bird head

Picture of a black dog paw print that has been modified to create a skull in the negative space between the black

A six-pointed star woven through a circle

Drawing of multiple human and animal faces that fit together like puzzle pieces

A circle surrounded by a ring of circles. In between them are three more circles made by shading the negative space

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Geometric and Mandala-esque Celtic Knotwork Sketches I Drew During School

All but one of these are Celtic knots I drew in my notebook during college classes over the course of the 2015 school year. At the end of the year, I gave the best ones to my teachers and the rest to my classmates. I hope they kept them. They’re going to be worth a lot someday.

I used Prisma Colors to make the Mandala Sunflower design at the bottom of the page, which was a birthday present to my supportive and patient girlfriend.

Two concentric circles with over/under-lapping arches of ribbons woven between them and each other
Two concentric squares with two more, rotated at a 90 degree angle and interlaced between them The same concentric square Celtic knot design as above, but with shading under the places where lines overlap Four concentric circles, with arches of ribbons woven between them in a Mandala patternThe same four concentric circles, with arches of ribbons woven between them in a Mandala pattern, but with the background colored in black Complicated Celtic knotwork Mandala with overlapping circles, arches and stars Two concentric "8's" framed by Celtic-style loops and angled linesTwo concentric diamond shapes connected by traditional Celtic knots, with a black background and white circle in the middle A four-pointed star made of 6 overlapping diamond-shaped polygons One line that loops in and out of itself. It looks like a donut-shaped bowl of soup. The background is not shaded in the bottom left quarter of the donut, and the overlapping lines there have not been erased to look overlapping IMG_1561 A large, serrated triangle made from one line that spirals into a concentric series of polygons, making a smaller triangle in the center from the negative space between the lines

A star made from angled loops that connect to/framed by a wide, square band of traditional Celtic knots containing alternating Trinity symbols and hearts

Very simple outline of a human skull with eye sockets, a nose socket and teethThe same basic skull outline as above, but with the lines turned into ribbons and the outline of a bird added; the skull's nose socket makes the tail feathers; the wings wrap over the top of the eyebrows, and the head of the bird is at the top center of the skull's forehead

The same skull as above, but with the background behind the eyes, bird and the peripheral of the skull shaded-in A four-pointed star made from four diamond shaped ribbons woven together and embellished with spiral designs in the negatives spaces. Laying on top of the paper is a real cigarette lighter with a picture of a glowing gofer on it.

Four circles in a clover pattern, with six concentric circles inside the clover

The same Celtic clover of circles with concentric circles inside it. The background has been shaded to look like a bullseye. A basic Mandala circle, but where the lines meet at the edge of the circle, they extend outward to make the shapes of sunflower leaves.

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Funny Anthropomorphic Illustrations Of Common Dinners

My identical twin brother works as a chef on a boat that stays out at sea for months. He started drawing pictures illustrating the meals on the menu in the cafeteria, and people started taking photos of them to send to their friends and families every day. Try to guess what the picture is depicting before reading the menu. You can also find the answer by mousing over the picture or scrolling down to the caption below each one.

Some of the whiteboards say, “Visitors sign in, please,” which may make you ask, how/why does a boat have visitors? It was docked for a while getting repaired.

Drawing of a framed portrait of Mona Lisa, except she has a chicken face.

Chicken Parmesan

Picture of a pig wearing a ninja uniform, karate-chopping an apple on a table

Pork chops with apples

Picture of a fish wearing swim shorts, laying on a blanket on a beach. The scales on his back are red, and there is a bright shining sun above

Seared tilapia

Picture of a female broccoli stalk holding a baby cow. Next to her is a male broccoli stalk looking suspicious and angry at her.

Beef and broccoli

The Hamburgler is holding an empty bag and pointing a gun a Ronald McDonald, who is frowning


Godzilla is crushing a city and breathing fire from his mouth. Little potatoes are running away from the city past a sign that says, "Welcome to Potatoville"

Mashed potatoes

Picture of a bumble bee + the board game, "Risk" + Pennywise, the evil clown = ?


Picture of a pig dressed like a pirate, standing next to a treasure chest, holding a gold medallion

Pork medallions

Two fish dressed like a bride and groom standing next to a large wedding cake

Fish cakes

Picture of a large taco with the head and legs of a frowning cow

Beef tacos

A pizza is taking a picture of another pizza, who is posing in front of the Leaning Tower of Pisa


Picture of a bean, dressed in a sailor outfit, standing on the deck of a military battle ship

Navy beans

A male ear of corn is holding a Spanish guitar and throwing a rose to a female ear of corn in a flowing red dress, dancing Salsa-style

Spicy corn

Picture of a stalk of broccoli surfing on a large wave

California veggies

The character "Sweet Pea" from the "Popeye" franchise, who is a cute baby, sitting happily in a baby stroller

Sweet peas

Picture of a large cow, who is saying, "Wise man say... anger is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies."

Beef tips

Picture of a female chicken soaking in a hot bath tub

Smothered chicken breast

Picture of a fish with a cat's head


Picture of a chicken wearing a baseball cap backwards and smiling, revealing elaborately jeweled teeth

Grilled chicken

Picture of "The Colonel," mascot of the Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant chain. In this picture, he has the head of a chicken and is holding a bucket of fried chicken

Fried chicken

Picture of the mascot for the Little Ceaser's pizza restaurant chain. He is a cartoonish man wearing a toga, holding a piece of pizza


Picture of a peach using a hammer to fix an old fashioned shoe. Above him is a sign that reads, "Ye Olde Cobbler Shop."

Peach cobbler

Picture a male and female chicken sitting on a park bench watching the sunset and holding hands

Chicken tenders

Picture of a salmon holding a fork, preparing to stick it in an electric socket

Blackened salmon

Picture of a dancing taco who is smiling and wearing a sombrero


Picture of a chicken, wearing boxing shorts and boxing gloves. He is laying on the ground with a black eye, missing teeth and stars spinning around his head

Blackened chicken

Picture of a giant pepper shaker, shaking out little cows with parachutes

Peppered steak

Picture of a cow sitting in a chair laughing next to a chicken standing at a podium that has the sing on the front, which says, "Comedy Central"

Roasted beef

Picture of a French fry wearing a scarf and beret, smoking a cigarette and riding a Vespa past the Eiffel Tower

French fries

Picture of a chicken standing on a Venetian canoe, pushing it through the canals of Venice

Chicken alfredo

Rib cage + eye ball + wooden stake = ?

Rib-eye steak

Picture of a boxing match poster with two chickens dressed like boxers on it. Above them it says, "Iron Horse Presents: Rumble in the Gulf." Below them it says, "Sunday 14: Glazed Ham vs Fried Chicken

Glazed ham and friend chicken

Picture of a pizza painting a self portrait by looking at himself in a mirror

Artisan pizza

Picture of a chicken dressed like Alice from "Alice in Wonderland"

Alice spring chicken

Picture of a sad shrimp sitting on a blanket with a cup in front of him, holding a sign that says, "Hungry. Please help."

Shrimp po boys

Picture of the chihuaha mascot of the Taco Bell restaurant chain. He is saying, "Yo quiero per diem."


Picture of a chicken that looks like a mob boss, specifically "The God Father."

Chicken scallopini

Picture of a fish wearing a Soviet hat with a red star on it, swimming past iconic churches in Moscow

Red snapper

Picture of a male potato handing a heart to a female potato, who is clapping her hands with joy

Sweet potatoes

Picture of a cat fishing in a small boat. In the water below is a giant fish grinning with sharp teeth



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What is the difference between good art and bad art?

The dictionary defines “art” as, “The expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power”

Wikipedia defines “art” as, “A diverse range of human activities in creating visual, auditory or performing artifacts – artworks, expressing the author’s imaginative or technical skill, intended to be appreciated for their beauty or emotional power.”


These definitions aren’t enigmatic. At its core, art is simply something that pleases the senses. If a human creates it, so much the better. That sounds simple, but thousands of books have been written further defining and explaining what art is, and every one of them is debatable.

Art is as much a question as it is a noun. No matter what answers you come up with, you can’t prove any of them. So there’s no point arguing what good art is, but that doesn’t mean there’s no point asking the question. If you devote your life to being an artist, you need some kind of answer/philosophy/framework that guides your creative process.

My definition for art is, “Whatever pleases the senses,” but I judge the quality of art by four criteria:

1: How pleasing is it to the senses?

2: How much practice, skill, and effort did it take to create?

3: How intelligently and harmoniously is it ordered?

4: How much useful meaning does it have?

5: I’ll elaborate on each point:


1: How pleasing is it to the senses?

Anything can be art as long as it’s pleasing. The view from a mountaintop, the sound of the ocean, the smell of a rose, or the feel of sand between your toes are all examples of naturally occurring art. They weren’t created by humans, but they’re mind-blowingly pleasing, and it took more skill and effort to create than anything humans can do. All of nature is designed mind-blowingly elegantly and harmoniously, and nature is as meaningful as life itself. So in my book, nature is the undisputed greatest artist and piece of art of all time. You can call the source of the universe’s artistry, “God…” or not. It doesn’t matter, but don’t say the Milky Way isn’t art just because a human didn’t create it.

As far as humans creating art goes, the bare minimum we have to do to create art is create something that pleases someone. It doesn’t require any skill or effort. You can create an enjoyable painting accidentally by spilling a tray of paints on a canvas.

It doesn’t even matter if you believe your work is pleasing. As long as someone else does, it’s art, because they perceive it to be, and if it’s real to them then it’s real in their universe.  If that person pays you $1 million for your “painting,” that proves your work is worth is worth $1 million… to them. But if another person wouldn’t pay you a penny for it, then they’ve proven it’s worthless… to them. There’s no inherent worth to any piece of art. It’s value is measured on a case by case basis. So if you want to become a rich artist, create what everyone wants most.


Quote by Henry David Thoreau, "The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it."


2: How much practice, skill, and effort did it take to create?

I’ll pat you on the back for selling splatter paint for $1 million dollars, but I won’t respect you as much as Rembrandt. If anyone can reproduce your work, then it belongs in an expensive children’s art gallery at best. And if the main reason people buy your art is because you’re the-famous-splatter-paint-guy, and they’re investing in a widget they believe will increase in value as you increase in popularity, then your work belongs in a collector’s museum next to baseball cards and Beanie Babies. Frankly, if you can convince someone to give you $1 million for splatter paint that an elephant could recreate, you fit the criteria of a con artist.

If you spend your childhood practicing painting, and then go on to earn a degree in art, and then spend 20 years practicing until you can paint photorealistic portraits from memory, then your work belongs in a world class museum next to other master tradesmen. Putting Rothko paintings in the same museums as Normal Rockwell is like putting a sundial made from a stick in the ground next to the Rathaus-Glockenspiel and saying they’re both worthy of the same space.



3: How intelligently and harmoniously is it ordered?

Beauty may be subjective, but it’s not arbitrary.  It can be understood, and its concepts applied. The human brain is hardwired to find certain patterns more appealing to the senses. The better you understand these patterns, and the more skilled you are at using tools to create them, the more pleasing work you can produce consistently, which means you deserve more respect than a one-trick ponies.

Every artistic discipline has well-established guidelines for how to create work that is ordered, balanced and harmonious. There is music theory for sound, spatial/color theory for sight, culinary theory for taste, angles/pacing for dancing, structure for oration, rhyme, and meter for poetry, plotting for stories, etc. This even applies to massage and sex.

This raises the question, what’s the common denominator that separates good painting, dancing, and singing from bad painting, dancing and singing? What makes art pleasing? I asked myself these questions one day while staring at a Jackson Pollock painting.


Ugly splatter paint art by the modern artist, Rothko.


I reasoned that if a Pollock painting is high art, then so is static television. They’re both just chaos, and chaos isn’t art. Chaos is just chaos. That’s the absence of artistry.

I further reasoned that if complete chaos is the absence of art, and complete order is equal to complete chaos, then art is balance between order and chaos.

The easiest way to explain what that means is by using some examples. Imagine you own an empty field by your house, and you want to plant trees in an artistic pattern to beautify your property. If you plant one tree, then there’s a feature to talk about, but it’s the bare minimum to make your yard a piece of art. If you plant two trees in random places, they won’t take your breath away. They’ll look random and uneventful. If you plant those two trees in symmetrical places, they’ll give shape and reference to the geometry of the field. If you plant three trees in a triangle in the center of the field, you’ll create an image and negative space in the design of the field.

The more order you introduce into your landscaping, the more artistic it becomes to the eye… as long as the spaces are harmoniously balanced and you don’t over-saturate the field with trees to the point of chaos.

You can make a nice spiral of trees and rightfully call it art, but if you plant rows of palm trees and shrubs in paths that create Celtic knots or a portrait of Marilyn Monroe, then you’ll have achieved order to the point of elegance. That should rightfully earn you more respect than a guy who throws seeds at his lawn in wild, emotional strokes.

The same concept is true for music. One note is an event. Two is almost enough to make something else. Three is a pattern. For a song to be enjoyable, the notes have to follow patterns, and those patterns can’t deviate too far, too often or the song unravels into chaos and sounds like Black Flag.



I can’t tell you the exact mathematical formula for beauty. Some people have said it’s the Golden Ratio, but they’re probably wrong. Whatever it is, it’s simple enough to be able to tune into without being able to articulate it, and someday scientists will figure it out. They’ve figured a lot out so far. It’s only a matter of time before science finds a unifying theory.

I believe they’ll find the most pleasing patterns consist of layers of increasing inorganic complexity, filled in with layers of organic complexity. The easiest way to explain what that means is by using an example.

Techno music is bare, elegant auditory art. Listening to it practically walks you through the steps of structuring art. It begins with a simple, steady bass beat. That’s the first layer of order. Then a slightly more complicated beat overlays that. Then they progressively faster and more complex. At some point, layers are added that aren’t just numerical beats. They’re chaotic and organic. By blending all these layers of complexity at a pace that’s pleasing to the ear, the DJ achieves elegance.



I’m not saying techno is the highest form of art or that every song needs to follow the same pattern, but it’s no accident that most popular songs have drums, a bass guitar, a backup guitar, a lead guitar, and vocals. These fulfill the unspoken need for harmonious layers of order and complexity that the human mind seems to enjoy.


4: How much useful meaning does it have?

My unifying theory of life is that life exists to fulfill its potential. Whatever helps life fulfill its potential is good, and whatever hinders it is evil. There’s a time and place to stop and smell the roses, but if all you do is dance in the rose garden all day, you’re going to die hungry and miss out on everything else life has to offer. Life is short and hard. There are lessons to be learned and goals to be accomplished. We don’t have time to fill our heads with white noise our entire lives. Art that teaches you something is inherently more valuable than something that doesn’t.

Sometimes bad art teaches us something profound, and some modern artists would say the idea is more important than the work itself, but in my opinion, if the idea is the only thing that’s worth anything, then the artist’s philosophy book would be worth more than their art.

Art may have a higher purpose than our own personal edification and petty entertainment. When you take a step back and look at art from the cosmic perspective, whenever we make art, we’re just rearranging pieces of the universe. And we, ourselves, are just rearranged pieces of the universe. So we’re the universe rearranging itself. And for what? No matter how much we rearrange, we’re all going to die someday, and eventually, the universe will cool and blink out of existence, erasing everything we’ve done.

So why create anything? Why does anything we do matter at all? The funny thing about that question is that the universe thrust us into the position to ask it without asking us first. It went through a lot of trouble to bring us into existence, and all we do is just see, hear, taste, smell, feel, shit and die. The universe made us out of its self to do that. We’re the hands, eyes, ears, nose, and skin of the universe whether we want to be or not.

Maybe the universe didn’t make us for our sake. Maybe it made it for its own sake…. or both. Either way, if we can maximize the majesty of living by creating pleasure that doesn’t occur randomly in nature, then maybe we have a moral obligation to do so for our own sake as well as whoever else may be watching from afar and/or from within. It may be one of the only meaningful things we ever do in life.


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The Warhol Effect

Someone already coined the term, “The Warhol Effect,” to describe artwork similar to Andy Warhol’s famous Marilyn Monroe prints:


Set of iconic multi-colored photos of Marilyn Monroe by the artist, Andy Warhol


I use the term to mean something else. In order to achieve The Warhol Effect, an artist must create a piece of art that is either so unlike anything else that its merit can’t be judged relative to any existing standard or its meaning is so mysterious that it can’t be defined…

AND the piece of art must have been intentionally designed just outside the boundaries of comprehension for the express purpose of either actively misleading (or passively allowing) the viewer to assume that since they don’t understand the piece then it must be because the piece is too genius for them to understand…

when in reality the piece is meaningless aside from serving the purpose of feigning genius in order to earn the con artist undeserved wealth and recognition from easily manipulated fools who don’t have enough intellectual confidence to listen to common sense.

In other words, it’s the modern-day equivalent of The Emperor’s New Clothes…applied specifically to art.


“I’m tired of pretending like I understood the deeper meaning behind the paper bag in ‘American Beauty.’ Can you explain it to me?”

“I’m pretty sure they were just going for the Warhol Effect.”

“Ah, that makes sense.”


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