Marriage is the combining of two lives into one. On a romantic scale this is a beautiful thing. On a practical scale this is misleading. Marriage is like a business merger. It involves two separate people with separate goals and separate resources available to accomplish those goals. When you get married you join another person in an inseparable business contract. So your assets and goals become inseparable.
This works great in two scenarios: One, if every single one of your goals are exactly the same. Two, neither of you have any goals. The first scenario has never happened. The second scenario is more common than it should be. If you don’t fall into either of those categories you’re going to have to make compromises with your significant other. You’ve probably heard someone say, “compromise is the key to a successful relationship.” This adage has gone unchallenged for the longest time, but it’s a bit oversimplified.
Compromise means that neither person gets what they want, but they make concessions towards a common goal. On the surface this seems virtuous, but the end result is that nobody gets what they really want. Let me repeat that, “Nobody gets what they want.”
Happiness is achieved by fulfilling your wants. If you rarely get to fully fulfill your wants you’ll rarely get to experience full happiness…unless you lower your expectations. In other words, unless you give up on your hopes. That means that marriage is a doomed business venture. It makes both parties unhappy until they give up and accept a substandard life all the while using cognitive dissonance to excuse away the negative realities of marriage until they no longer live in reality.
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