Category Archives: economics

Tweets by The Wise Sloth #29: Hurting Customers and Workers

Cartoon image of a sloth sitting on a mountain top. He is wearing a yellow robe. His head is bowed with his eyes shut, and beams of light shine from around his head. With his left arm, he is holding one finger in the air. Above him are the words, "Tweets by The Wise Sloth."

Grey Hound charges an $18 “gift fee” if you buy someone a ticket. In other words, they extort you for helping a loved one in need. #greed

As long as prices are set by supply & demand, the most important things will be the most unaffordable.

Friendly mechanics are psychopaths. They smile at you as they extort you in your time of need so they can have a more luxurious retirement.

You can tell an economy is broken if it costs a month’s wages to fulfill annual responsibilities like car repair and dental work.

Just once I’d like a politician to declare war on bullshit charges in bills like “processing fees,” “service fees,” etc.

America criticizes young people for buying avocados instead of criticizing politicians for letting the cost of food becoming impoverishing.

Companies tell you their product is happiness, but they know what they’re really selling you is poverty.

In a world where everything costs money, it stings to go anywhere or do anything.

If you charge people who drive a $3,000 car, $3,000 for an hour of work. You’re why they’re struggling to survive and can’t have nice things

I predict that by 2020, the price of literally everything you buy will include a “service charge” and/or “processing fee.”

Charging the shit out of anyone who misses a payment on a debt, wouldn’t happen in any place faintly resembling Utopia.

If you earn minimum wage, plan to spend 3 months per year working and saving towards your car mechanic’s retirement.

The road to bankruptcy and debt is paved with “opportunities of a lifetime.”

Whenever a salesman says you have to give them a yes or no answer right now, say no.

If you believe your bank cares about you, you’re wildly mistaken. Their job isn’t to help you get money. Their job is to take your money.

Despite what their advertisements and website say, anyone who would charge you 30% interest is not your friend.

If equally hurtful when banks fine you for having $0 in your bank account, as it is when loan officers and credit card companies do it.

It’s possible to cope with everything being overpriced, but not when everything gets more overpriced the more of a necessity it is.

Slaves pick the vegetables you would buy at the grocery store if they weren’t too expensive and you weren’t too poor.

There’s a legal limit to the amount of rodent and insect parts allowed to be present in food sold in stores where, you know, vegetarians shop.

Poor Americans live in greater daily fear of the threat of starvation than the threat of terrorism.

Any store that sells cigarettes will gladly kill you for money.

The Earth doesn’t have enough resources to sustain an economy in which everything you consume comes in a bag and a box.

TV commercials are just sales pitches from con artists.

The more you believe tearing down a customer service employees is justified, the bleaker of a person you probably are inside.

You go on vacation to find relief, only to find more of the same extortionate price gouging that was stressing you out in your hometown.

Monthly bills didn’t exist until humans made them. If humans are can make the Internet, we should be able to make a world without bills.

I bet we could reduce the number of panic attacks in America by at least 80% by not requiring everyone to live in almost constant debt.

Raising taxes on addictive substances works every time… at making addicts poorer and/or turning to cheaper, more dangerous substitutes.

My only problem with fast food chains is they use slave labor to sell poison to the public and markup the cost as high as the market allows.

The low, low prices at your favorite store were brought to you by the slaves who made the products, not the generosity of the store owners.

If you pay your employees 1/10 of the profit they earn your company per hour, don’t be surprised if they give 1/10 a fuck about your company.

Most Wal-Mart workers barely make enough money to survive. The owners have as much money as a small country. That’s how trickle-down economics works.

If you can afford a $200 million home, all of your employees better have pensions, or you’re definitely going to Hell after you die.

If your employees don’t have a pension or equity, and you’re planning on buying a second house, you’re a parasite.

Fire every janitor, and make every skilled worker clean up after themselves. If profits drop, it proves what janitors’ labor is really worth.

The world’s economy depends on billions of people spending their lives working at jobs they don’t like. That’s not how you Utopia.

The 40 hour work week cripples children, and thus our future, by not giving parents enough time to raise their kids properly.

Why don’t people in hurricane paths evacuate? If they work at Pizza Hut, it’s because their boss won’t give them the day off.

Most self-help, motivation and leadership books either teach how to be a more enthusiastic slave or slaver.

The office building you dream about paradise from used to be paradise before an office building was built on it.

When a business owner takes home more $ than all the employees who operate the business, that’s slavery.

The meaner your leadership philosophy is, the more you’re going to inspire your team to hate you and want you to fail.

Businesses call their employees “partners” because they wouldn’t be as proud if their name tag said “wage slave.”

It defeats the purpose of having a system if the system makes everyone too busy/poor to exercise, eat healthy, or have a secure retirement.

The higher your hourly wage is than your employees’ or clients’ daily wage, the more you’re responsible for income inequality.

Then: 10k people build a pyramid, and 1 person gets to live like God. Now: 10k people build a business, and 1 person gets to live like God.

Your employees might have more pride in your company if you gave them paychecks they can feel proud of.

Most meth users I’ve met aren’t idle. They work at jobs that almost require meth to make it through an exhausting, soul-crushing work day.

Personal organizer/planning books and motivational speakers exist to help you manage and cope with your slavery.

There are more jobs that don’t pay a living wage than there are that do. That’s now how an economy is supposed to work.

If you go to a job interview in America, don’t say, “I’m a creative thinker.” Instead, say, “I love to work.” They want slaves, not thinkers

When that which is good for the economy isn’t good for the workers, you’ve got the wrong kind of economy.

If you’re thinking of quirky ways to offer your employees conditional bonuses, it’s probably because you don’t pay them what they deserve.

Your job is more of an opportunity for your employer than for you.

Politicians shouldn’t brag about lowering unemployment by creating new minimum wage jobs because they’re bragging about expanding slavery.

Big businesses have more to be thankful for on Memorial Day than the average wage slave worker.

The poorer you are, the more people you know who hate their jobs. The richer you are, the more people you know who take 2-hour lunch breaks.

Strip malls are the new cotton fields.

If welfare can pay more than a job, that’s not a sign we live in a welfare state. It’s a sign we live in a slave state.

If you still have to go to work when you’re sick, you don’t live in the land of the free.

The true value of a company isn’t determined by its stock price but by the quality of life of its employees and customers.

Most car accidents happen within 10 miles of people’s home because most people can’t afford to drive more than 10 miles away from home/work.

It’s not that young people don’t know what they want to do with their lives. It’s that they can’t decide which shit job they should settle for.


If you enjoyed these Tweets, you’ll also like these:

My Tweets About Self-Help
My Tweets About Romance
My Tweets About Philosophy 
My Tweets About Religion
My Tweets About Politics
My Tweets About Economics
My Tweets About Pop Culture

Tweets by The Wise Sloth #30: Investing, Real Estate and Health Care

Cartoon image of a sloth sitting on a mountain top. He is wearing a yellow robe. His head is bowed with his eyes shut, and beams of light shine from around his head. With his left arm, he is holding one finger in the air. Above him are the words, "Tweets by The Wise Sloth."

If you’re going to gamble your money away, the stock market is way more exciting than lottery tickets.

Stock tip: The more articles you see about a company fucking over their employees, invest in their stock. Exploitation=profit=growth=profit.

Stock tip: Invest in pharmaceutical companies making legal amphetamines. Everyone is overworked, and demand for insane energy is always rising.

Rent is a system that allows poor people to pay rich people’s mortgages.

If you earn minimum wage, plan to work at least 5 months per year to save towards your landlord’s retirement.

Renters are as good as indentured servants to their landlords.

When the cheapest rent you can find costs at least two weeks of your wages, your politicians aren’t doing their jobs.

If you pay rent, you’re effectively an indentured servant to your landlord.

It’s hard to get high on life when life is the suburbs.

Suburbia is the perfection of for-profit prisons.

The slogan of every subdivision and strip mall construction company should be: “Building an unsustainable tomorrow, today.”

You’ll never be able to live in your dream home because you spent it building the dream homes of your favorite businesses’ owners.

Any politician who isn’t constantly fighting to lower housing prices is failing at their job.

When Americans aren’t in prison, they have more than twice the space at home.

“When a real estate agent says: “”Are you a first time home buyer?” What a real estate agent means: “Are you a first-time debt prisoner?”

A government capable of building roads for all its taxpayers is capable of building homes for all its taxpayers.

I bet God dies inside a little every time humans pave over more nature to build more strip malls and suburbs.

Suburbia sentences you to perpetual debt, which sentences you to perpetual fear and work, resulting in permanent loss of hope and freedom.

Living in suburbia requires you to perpetually buy/replace/repair expensive stuff you must work to pay for. It’s like living in a labor camp.

Health insurance protects you from extortion if you get sick by extorting you if you stay healthy.

Hospitals give patients bills inflated with insanely high bullshit charges and are surprised when so few customers just don’t pay. #fuckyou2

Obamacare solves the problem of unaffordable healthcare by selling unaffordable insurance that doesn’t cover the cost of healthcare.

Paying five year’s wages for a lifesaving operation is the epitome of extortion.

Doctors give you life via medicine and surgery and then take it away via bills.

There’s a special place in Hell for whoever decided to charge for parking at hospitals.

If America must spend billions of dollars giving stuff away for free, medical texts books should be near the top of the list.

I wish Americans were as concerned with the freedom to buy medicine without a prescription as they are about freedom of religion.

Just once I’d like to hear America’s celebrity doctors say America’s health care system could be fixed by doctors boycotting insurance.

Politicians and soldiers should be as concerned about protecting us from insurance companies as they are about protecting us from terrorists.

If you have to worry about your government taking away your access to health care, patriotism might be more suicidal than virtuous.


If you enjoyed these Tweets, you’ll also like these:

My Tweets About Self-Help
My Tweets About Romance
My Tweets About Philosophy 
My Tweets About Religion
My Tweets About Politics
My Tweets About Economics
My Tweets About Pop Culture

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