I feel kind of stupid talking about legalizing prostitution or marijuana, because the debate is already over. Both “sins” are legal in Holland, and prostitution is legal in most of Europe. The results have been almost exclusively fantastic. The only problem marijuana causes in Holland is it draws the hooligans from other countries where it isn’t legal -a problem that could be solved by legalizing it everywhere. The prostituion segment suffers from forced sex slaves, but since there’s so much competition and legitimate sex trade businesses, the slave trade will always be limited in size. However, in countries where there is no legal prostitution there’s no competition and no oversight. So there are probably more sex slaves in America than in Holland (per capita). We just don’t know it because we pretend the problem doesn’t exist.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. My point was just to show that legalizing victimless crimes in Europe has turned out well. The rest of this blog is just going to bring up some of the reasons they decided to do it that not all Americans are aware of.
1. Security. If you’re disparate enough to pay a stranger for sex you’re probably desperate for a lot of other things as equally primal as sex. Most of the people I knew in the military who slept with prostitutes were pretty wild guys in general. Anyway, tittie bars need bouncers, and so do prostitutes. And shit, is there really a fundamental difference between a strip club and a brothel. Nope. Just one little formality. That was another tangent. Back to my point. Prostitutes need security more than a designer clothing store. So much so that illegal prostitutes get pimps who extort them. As horrible as it is it’s better than not having a pimp. In Holland the prostitutes get big, bad bouncers. One guy told me about a brothel he went to in Cologne, Germany where they had pit bulls. Now who do you think has more dead hookers, New York or Cologne? But America doesn’t care whether or not a hooker dies, because they’re immoral. Good ol’ Christian values at work there, baby.
2. Sanitation. Simple fact. You’re more likely to get a disease from someone at a club than from a porn star or a Dutch prostitute. They get medical checkups so often it’d make a hypochondriac cream his pants. Seriously, abortion is legal and prostitution isn’t? The only reason abortion was ever passed in a country that won’t let you cuss on television is because too many women were getting back room abortions and were dying from any number of medical problems.
That’s horrible seeing as how (on a lighter side) I suspect one of the main reasons prostitution is still illegal in America is because the American women don’t want the competition. Imagine this commercial for the brothel that may someday open up down the street from your house:
“Men, are you tired of spending $300 at a tittie bar and not getting off? Are you tired of spending $100 a night going to bars hitting on girls you’re really not interested in and just want to fuck but you can’t anyway because you get cock blocked by her fat friend and that $100 you just spent on that daffy bitch with the annoying laugh and big tits just when shit all down the drain for nothing? Are you tired of girls you just wanted to sleep with becoming maniacally codependent on you and trying to control you, and they know you’ll let them do it because you want sex bad enough to sacrifice your dignity for it? Well worry no more! Because Jimbo’s Jumbo Brothel is opening soon at a location near you. For only $50 you can have sex with girls so hot you never would have had a chance with them in real life. They’ll let you do anything to them with no foreplay, no complaining, and most importantly, no strings! That’s right. When you’re done they won’t call you back, but if you want to call them back they’ll be willing to take you back any time of day. But wait, there’s more! They’re less likely to have a disease than any given girl you pick up at a bar. That’s right. Try now risk free. No obligations. All major credit cards approved.”
Why the fuck would any man get a girlfriend after a sales pitch like that?
3. Women’s dignity. How bad would your life have to get to risk getting arrested for going to work every day, risking getting murdered, beaten, humiliated, and infected with a disease. These women aren’t immoral fluzies. They’re desperate. Their lives suck on levels you and I can’t even imagine. And be keeping prostitution legalize we’re supporting that. We spend millions of dollars a year oppressing prostitutes and destroying their lives. They tears and blood on our hands. Fuck that. I don’t that responsibility laid at my feet. Somebody wants to make a little money, mutually consentually, making lonely people happy in a safe and sterile environment what the fuck do I care? I don’t want my tax dollars going to keeping those two people unhappy and unsafe. And quite frankly I’m disgusted at anybody who would.
4.Sarah Palin’s rape kit sales will plummet. Why risk going to jail and destroying your conscience by raping someone when you can go buy a hooker with no hassle? A veto for prostituion is a vote for rape. Make a campaign button out of that.
5. The economy. Prostitutes make more money. Businesses make more money. The economy grows. With the economic problems we’ve got these days and the amount of people wanting a little relief now’s the perfect time to legalize prostitution. Here’s my campaign slogan: “PROSTITUTION: IT’LL DO YOU GOOD!”
However you felt about this post, you’ll probably feel the same way about these:
- Why you should not have faith in your government
- Don’t ask what your country can do for you
- Problems we accept are part of life but don’t have to
- Voting never has and will never save America
- Americans, you’re not represented in the 2012 presidential election
- Things Obama won’t change in his next four years as president
- Why Obamacare made me face palm
- Corruption reform
- A theory on improving the political election process
- Stop talking about guns and start talking about poverty
- Conservative Americans, you don’t need to overthrow your government to make the world a better place.
- Cost/Benefit Analysis of Terrorism
- A Discussion about Osama Bin Laden’s life, death and what it means for the future
- 10 solutions to most of America’s problems
- 6 steps to change America
- 9 reasons foreigners look down on America
- America is a pc. Europe is a Mac
- My American Beauty-esque rant about life in America
- Why are Americans so violent and unhappy?
- The Big Conspiracy Theory
- Have a sane perception of conspiracy theories
- Don’t give conspiracy theorists your money
Police and the Law
- An intervention with the police
- Thoughts on police who beat up protesters
- My experience with the TSA
- Should police enforce unjust laws?
- The 28th amendment
- My theory on accountability laws
- Why gambling should be legal
- 8 reasons to legalize marijuana you’ve already heard
- Why stop with just making drugs illegal?
- The American burqa
- Borders are inhumane
Occupy Wall Street
- Predictions on the Occupy Wall St. Protest
- An American Expat Visits the “Occupy Auckland” protest: Part 1, Part 2
- The Issue of Race in the Occupy movement
- Why I’m not sure if we need another big Occupy Wall Street style protest