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How America Works
Short, dark, surreal, articulate political comics
- How presidential elections work
- How congressional elections work
- How political representation works
- How freedom works
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- How veterans protesting works
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- How protesting in tents works
- How government handouts work
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- How the officer corps works
- How becoming a billionaire works
- How the economy works
- How the stock market works
- How bank greeters work
- How healthcare works
- How the housing market works
- How universities work
- Intervention with a Pop Star: Part 1
- Intervention with a Pop Star: Part 2
Occupy LOL Street
Thee LOL Cats join the Occupy LOL Street movement at Zucchini Park and find ways to address income inequality and corruption.
- A Brave New Village
- The Butterfly Effect
- A For Anonymous
- The People’s Party
- The Constitutional Convention
- The Plight of the Homeless
- The LOL Cats Save Christmas
- The Freedom Flotilla
- The Burden of Responsibility
- The Guilded Age
- The Wizard of LULZ
- Adventures in Lobbying
Two Conservative Ladies
A satirical take on conservative talking points
Two Feminist Ladies
The Adventures of Monk and Punk: Journey to Entlantis
A homeless monk and an alcoholic punk team up to create a publishing house to raise money to build a floating monastery.
- A Brief History of the Working Class
- The Ents: A Story About Marijuana Prohibition
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- Highway to the Thunderdome: A Story about Digital Piracy
- An imagined conversation with my abusive, narcissistic father
An Old Man From Jersey Explains Life
An old man sits on the steps to his apartment and explains life to an eight-year-old boy.
- The meaning of life
- How to grow up
- What came first, the chicken or the egg?
- Is man inherently good or evil?
- Does everything happen for a reason?
- Does free will exist?
- The social contract
- Right and wrong
- How to think
This Was Your Life
Loki and a friend taunt the dead at the Pearly Gates to the Underworld
- A Christian Woman
- A Christian Man
- The Agnostic
- The Hedonist
- The Martyrs
- The Selfless Servant
- The Atheist
- The Mormon and the Hindu
- The Billionaire
- Spiritual But Not Religious
- The Faith Healer
- The Conspiracy Theorist
- The Racist
- The Nonconformist
- A Liberal and a Conservative
- The Modern Artist
- The Vegetarian
- The Satanist
- Barack Obama
- The Pope and The Dali Lama
- The Puritan
- The Homophobe
- The Radical Feminist
- The Jew
- Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump (Part 1)
- The Libertarian
- Bernie Sanders
- Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump (Part 2)
- Two Social Justice Warriors
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A woman is standing in front of a judge in a courtroom.
Order in the Court! This case is now in session. Will the defendant please state her name?
My name is Dr. Michele Justice.
You’ve been charged with growing ten marijuana plants in your house. Tell the court how you
plead before the prosecution states their case.
Before we go on, tell me who this “prosecution” person is.
That’s the person whose job it is to make sure you go to jail for as long as possible and pay as
much money in fines as possible.
I’d like to call a mistrial. There’s no reason or justice in having someone here whose sole job it is
to ruin my life.
Don’t worry. We’ll lend you a person whose sole job it is to fight the prosecution and defend you
even if you’re guilty.
What if my representative is an idiot with no experience and the prosecutor is a sociopathic
genius with decades of experience?
Then you’ll be going to prison for a long, long time, and after you get out you won’t be able to
get a decent job for the rest of your life because of your criminal record.
This is absurd. I demand better protection from this villain.
Don’t worry. Twelve of our peers will listen to both sides of the case and vote democratically on
Isn’t it a conflict of interest to have my peers judge me?
By “peers” I meant, “total strangers.”
Are they experts in the law?
No, not at all. A lot of them aren’t experts in anything. They’re pretty much failures in life.
What are the chances they’ll be sympathetic to my case?
Not good, because the prosecutor will get to screen them and remove any he doesn’t think he can
manipulate into voting to send you to jail and ruin your life.
So you’re going to put my fate in the hands of a group of people who have been stacked against
me, have no legal training and don’t want to be here? Then on top of that you’re going to let a
highly skilled, manipulative sociopath twist their perception of me?
When you put it like that it really does sound bad, but I can assure you it’s a great system.
Has anyone innocent ever been found guilty? Or has anyone guilty ever been found innocent?
Both literally happen every single day.
I’ll tell you what, why don’t you let three impartial detectives investigate my case, and I’ll let
them have the final say on my verdict.
You don’t have that option.
What options do I have?
So how do I get options?
First, you go to prison, and if you survive then you spend the rest of your life learning the legal
system and spend your life savings appealing your case until it goes to the Supreme Court, but
the legal system will try to stop you every step of the way.
Is it the Supreme Court’s responsibility to objectively stand up for human rights and challenge
the system when it fails to serve the interests of the people?
For every case where that happened, I can point to three where it didn’t.
What about you? I’m talking to you right now. Can’t you help me?
I don’t have the authority.
But you have the authority to destroy my life and by proxy the lives of my family?
How is that justice?
That’s how it’s always been done. So it must be right. Now, you were caught with ten marijuana
plants. How do you plead?
Before I answer that, why is it a problem that I had ten marijuana plants?
Because it’s against the law.
But why is it against the law?
Because it’s bad for you.
I’ve got 30 tobacco plants growing in my backyard. Why don’t you arrest me for that?
Because it’s not illegal.
Why not? Millions of people die every year from tobacco, and nobody has ever died from
marijuana. In fact, marijuana has medicinal properties.
Can you prove that marijuana is medicinal?
Until you prove that tobacco is medicinal I don’t see why I need to.
Well, marijuana will also get you high, and anything that makes you feel euphoric has to be
Cigarettes and alcohol get you high too.
Alcohol was legalized because prohibition led to an unprecedented rise in organized crime, and
the majority of Americans wanted it legalized.
Everything you just said is true about marijuana, and there are tons of academic papers written
Too bad this is neither the time nor the place to have this discussion.
I’m about to be sent to prison…by you. This is exactly the time and place to have this
conversation. In fact, I’d say this conversation is long overdue.
I’m sorry, but you can’t question the law in a court of law.
Can I at least pick my punishment? I’d rather get whipped than go to jail.
We can’t whip you. That would be cruel and unusual punishment.
Will I suffer any inhumane treatment in prison?
You’ll almost certainly be beaten, stabbed and raped. You’ll live in constant fear. You’ll barely
get enough nutrition to survive, and you’ll get as little medical care as possible. And you’ll be
coerced into working in a sweatshop.
Is there any way I can improve my odds of surviving in prison?
Since you’re white your best bet is to join the Arian Brotherhood.
So your solution to crime is to force criminals to join organized crime rings?
How much would it cost to send me to prison anyway?
About twenty-four thousand dollars a year.
I’m a doctor. I’d pay that much in taxes if I were able to go back to work.
Well, that’s all the more reason why you shouldn’t have broken the law. You’re costing the taxpayers
No.You’re costing the taxpayers twice by sending me to prison for no reason.
There is a reason. Marijuana users have to be arrested to keep society safe.
Smoking marijuana is a victimless crime. Absolutely no one gets hurt by it. Even if it were as
dangerous as alcohol or cigarettes, it still wouldn’t be as dangerous as prison. Sending people to
jail for marijuana possession is like shooting them in the head to stop them from shooting
themselves in the foot. Wouldn’t people’s taxes be better spent enforcing victim-full crimes and
rehabilitating violent criminals?
Honestly, as long as I get a paycheck every month I don’t really care.
Doesn’t it bother you at all that this system is designed to set people up to fail, not to facilitate
People who can afford a high-priced lawyer aren’t set up to fail. Neither are politicians.
That’s completely and utterly unfair. That’s not justice.
Not my job to care.
Reason is dead here. Well, why don’t we just skip this charade and send me to your for-profit
human kennel you call a prison.
Fantastic. Send in the next victim in the war on people.
September 18th, 2022 at 10:25 pm
Hello maate nice post