Tag Archives: sexual morality

Demonizing Pleasure Is A Failed Experiment

For some reason, humans have been holding onto this philosophy that pleasure is inherently evil and asceticism is a benchmark of maturity. I could be wrong about this, but I blame the Abrahamic religions for creating and maintaining this trend. I’m just not sure why they decided to wage war on pleasure. Maybe the tribal leaders who wrote those mythologies knew that miserable people were easier to control or maybe they were just as bad at making up morals as they were at making up science.

It’s so ingrained in our culture, it’s law. In the Middle East, women are forced to cover their heads and bodies to hide how pleasurable God made them. In the West, women are forced to cover their breasts and waists to hide how pleasurable God made them. Men have the freedom show off their hair and chests in every country, but if anyone sees their penis, they’ll go to jail quicker than a murderer.

We’re not just afraid of actual genitals. Porn magazines have to be sold wrapped in plastic with a black cover over them, and children aren’t allowed to see anyone other than themselves naked until they’re about eighteen years old. Since everyone can watch prime-time network television, nipples and groins are dogmatically censored as if they were cursed objects that will burn your eyes out if you look at them.

Our phobia of pleasure is so pervasive it extends into the workplace. Men and women have segregated toilets, and the geniuses in human resources set limits on how much flesh customers and workers can expose. Workers have to wear boring uniforms, and any individual who has bought enough credentials to deem themselves worthy to pick their own clothes still has to wear bland professional clothing. Nothing sums up the absurdity of professionalism more than the necktie. It’s uncomfortable and unnecessary, and it’s ironically similar to a noose, but it’s an industry standard.  We shouldn’t be going out of our way to be uncomfortable. We should be wearing pajamas to work.

Another way culture reflects its demonization of pleasure is through strict drug laws. Granted, drugs are self-destructive, which makes them irresponsible, but sending drug users to jail for hurting themselves is like shooting someone in the head to stop them from shooting themselves in the foot. That’s not justice. That’s a vendetta, and it just goes to show how committed humanity is to demonizing pleasure and glorifying suffering that we punish people for feeling euphoria by locking them in a cage with rapists, murders and abusive, unaccountable guards and forbid them from ever looking at pornography.

The ultimate symbol of culture’s rejection of pleasure is the standard we set for politicians and news anchors. They’re supposed to be the ideal human beings…yet they’re expected to act like robots. Watch any news report on any politician and you’ll see a human robot reporting on a human robot. You couldn’t even get hired as a news anchor or politician if the public found out you had too much fun in your past. That’s how serious our fear of pleasure is.

Asceticism is the standard we’ve set for maturity, but asceticism does more damage than it does good. For as long as humans have been demonizing pleasure humans have been needlessly suffering. Asceticism has failed humanity every time it has been tried. It’s still failing today, and it’s going to fail everyone who tries it in the future. Denying yourself pleasure is inherently painful. Demonizing pleasure effectively glorifies pain. Even if that’s not your intention that’s the obvious, inevitable result. The only time pleasure would ever become a problem is when it causes anyone pain, but by denying ourselves pleasure we condemn ourselves to a life of pleasure-less pain, which defeats the purpose of life, and it defeats the purpose of trying to be virtuous.

Denying yourself the freedom to feel pleasure or express yourself is psychologically tantamount to locking yourself in solitary confinement. After your body goes too long without feeling anything it shuts down and doesn’t even try to engage with the world. You die inside and end up sleepwalking through life until your body finally catches up with your mind and dies and puts you out of your misery. Granted, that’s an extreme case, but the standard for maturity and professionalism which our pleasure-hating society has set is closer to that extreme than it is to hedonism, and by numbing ourselves in the name of virtue and professionalism we’re creating a society of miserable, stressed out anxious fun police.

Being a somber stick in the mud doesn’t help anyone or anything. All it does is make life suck. In reality hiding your body and censoring your voice isn’t maturity, it’s oppression, and oppressing yourself isn’t the epitome of maturity; it’s the epitome of personal irresponsibility, and telling people they can’t act free and happy is the epitome of social oppression.

I’m not saying everyone should be wanton hedonists. I’m saying asceticism is as destructive as hedonism. Look, pleasure is fine as long as nobody gets hurt. Nobody gets hurt by seeing a woman’s head or breasts. Nobody gets hurt by seeing genitals. Nobody gets hurt by people dressing comfortably and decorating their office to reflect their personality. Nobody gets hurt by showing up to work or the grocery store in your pajamas. Nobody gets hurt when an individual sits in their home and gets stoned. There’s no logical reason to demonize pleasure, and there’s every reason to demonize asceticism. The simple math is that joy begets joy, and misery begets misery. The best way to navigate the gray area is with reason… not dogmatic mythology-based self-loathing fear-mongering.

 

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What Are Transexuals? Why Are They Suddenly Popular? Why Do Conservatives Fear Them?

Sexual norms have been changing rapidly in America over the past few decades. In a country that used to have laws against sodomy, homosexuality has become so accepted that gays have been granted the right to marry and serve openly in the military. As shocking as this was to conservative Americans, they’re now having to cope with the fact that transsexuals are being accepted as mainstream celebrities, and the federal government is defending their choice to use bathrooms that match their gender identity.

Some Americans view this sexual revolution as a sign of progress. Others view it as a sign of the apocalypse and predict God is going to burn down America like He did Sodom and Gomorra as punishment for becoming such a perverse society. Others believe sexual tolerance is a liberal conspiracy to erase conservative culture in order to eliminate conservatives as a political opponent. Most Americans aren’t that dramatic or articulate about why they’re unaccepting of transsexuals. If you ask them their opinion, they may say something like this:

“I just don’t get why someone would want to chop their dick off.”

“How is chopping your dick off, not a sign of mental illness?”

“God made us how we’re supposed to be. You can’t change that.”

“If these people are so miserable with who they are, why don’t they just kill themselves?”

“Anyone who wants to dress up like the opposite sex is just a pervert. Plain and simple.”

“A lot of these people saying they identify as another gender just want attention. They’re just doing it because it’s popular.”

America is confused by transsexuals, but the explanation is actually quite simple. It’s just not something conservatives want to hear. Gender is determined by genetics, not by a decision you make. Gender identity isn’t a moral or philosophical question. It has everything to do with DNA and chromosomes. This isn’t a conspiracy. Nobody made up or reverse engineered the evidence for this conclusion. Impartial scientists tweezed apart the building blocks of the human body and reported the facts they found, and anyone can repeat the same experiments and find the same evidence that supports the same conclusions.

Everyone’s DNA is a little different by nature, and everyone has unintended genetic anomalies. Sex chromosomes aren’t black and white. We all fall in a grey spectrum. At the far end of the spectrum, some people are born with the genes of one sex but the body of the other. They have the wrong operating system for the hardware they’re using.

 

 

Transsexuals didn’t ask to be born the way they are, and they don’t like being trapped in the wrong body. Coming to terms with having a mismatched mind and body (let alone living in a society that won’t accept them) is so agonizing that almost half of all transsexuals will attempt suicide at some point in their life. The decision to alter their bodies isn’t something they do flippantly.

Granted, some people with normal chromosomes may choose to identify as the opposite sex because of events that happened to them in childhood or personal preference. Even if sexuality isn’t biological, and it’s only a choice for everyone… people should still have the freedom to do what they want.  Freedom isn’t supposed to be comfortable for anyone other than the individual exercising their freedom.

America has always had its own transgender members. If conservatives didn’t notice, that’s because they ignored, dismissed and oppressed them into oblivion. Conservatives aren’t facing a new enemy. They’re seeing their family for the first time.

There have always been transgender people in every country in the world. Historically, most cultures have treated their transgender members like outcasts. In India and Hawaii, they belonged to the lowest caste, but at least those societies acknowledged the existence of the third gender and incorporated them into the culture.

 

 

Christians are having a hard time accepting their transgender kin because the Bible never mentions DNA, genes, chromosomes or the third gender, but it says in black and white that homosexuality is a sin, and transsexuals are close enough to homosexuals to lump them together.

In Christianity, sin is a matter of life and death. So to Christians, it’s a matter of life and death that everyone acts Christian. From one point of view, taking away other people’s freedom to sin is saving their life. From another Christian perspective, sinners made a decision to turn from God, and the path they’ve chosen leads straight to Hell. Accepting sinners is accepting evil, and officially granting them the legal freedom to sin is tantamount to electing Satan for president.

It should seem suspicious that Christians are so invested in oppressing homosexuals and transsexuals for not living Biblically since Christians have been abandoning the teachings of the Bible since it was written. As clearly as the Torah states homosexuality is wrong, it also states homosexuals should be killed. Polygamy and slavery should be legal. It’s immoral to eat shellfish, wear clothes with mixed fibers, get tattoos, pull your penis out of your wife when you ejaculate, have a wet dream or go to church if your testicles are mutilated. It also says in black and white that you should kill adulterers, disobedient children, witches, and anyone who stands in the way of the Jewish theocracy.

Modern, American Christians don’t believe in these laws or follow them. While Baby Boomers are still deluding themselves into believing they’re Christian, Millennials are not. The world has already woken up from history and is moving on past Christian mythology. When the Baby Boomers die, the era of Christianity will be over. There will still be Christians, but they’ll be an irrelevant, impotent shadow of what they once were. Eventually, they’ll fade away into the history books.

 

 

In the meantime, Christians are left watching in horror and confusion as their culture disappears. Their fear of America becoming a secular nation is validated every time the government passes laws that give homosexuals and transsexuals equal rights. When the government sides against Christianity, it officially declares Christians have lost the culture war. These rulings are nails in Christianity’s coffin.

It’s natural that Christians are frightened by Post-Biblical America and are frustrated with being pushed to the sidelines. It’s to be expected that they would lash out. No matter how many homosexuals and transgender people they harass, it won’t bring Christianity back. Violence and hatred were never going to solve anything anyway.

Now is not the time for hatred. Now is the time for everyone to pause, take a deep breath, and humbly consider the possibility their religion might be mythology. You owe it to yourself to do a few Google searches challenging whatever ideas you refuse to question. If your beliefs stand the most rigorous test of truth, you’ll just strengthen your faith. If you discover mountains of evidence that you’re wrong, you could free yourself from a lifetime of misguidance.

Christians who can’t let go of their modernized, watered-down version of Israel’s ancient mythology will just have to find some way to cope with the fact that transgender people are here to stay because there aren’t enough haters left to successfully oppress them.

When the federal government puts the next coffin nail in Christianity, and Christian anger flares up again, I urge Christians to pause, take another deep breath and ask yourself if you should really be angry that the world won’t accept your prejudices. Maybe you’re not the victim. Maybe you’re on the wrong side of history. You don’t want to be the bad guy. You owe it to yourself to question the beliefs that led you to screaming at people in bathrooms.

 

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Why I Like Strip Clubs

A few years ago I posted a blog about why I don’t like going to strip clubs. Here’s the last paragraph if you don’t have time to read the whole thing:

“So basically, when you ask me if I want to go to a strip club you’re really asking me to pay a shit load of money to get sexually frustrated by a bunch of resentful liars who look down on me and won’t hesitate to make me feel guilty if I don’t give them what they want. Why don’t I just go in the bathroom and flush my money down the toilet while punching myself in the balls and shouting self-deprecating remarks at myself in the mirror? At least then I won’t have to leave the house.”

Mind you, I never said I wouldn‘t go to a strip club. There are a few good reasons to go to them. Every once in a while the cost/benefit analysis tips in favor of going to one, and I feel like it’s only fair that since I wrote a blog analyzing the cons of strip clubs, then I should also write a blog analyzing the positives.

To truly understand the positive side of the strip club business, you have to look past the window dressings and see the issue for what it really is, and the real issue is nudity. Public nudity. Now, here’s the thing about public nudity: everybody was born naked. Clothing is a lie. I’m not saying clothes aren’t useful or necessary. I wouldn’t walk around naked all the time, but the fact remains, clothes are a human invention designed to hide the way we really are. The only reason we feel ashamed of our bodies and terrified of other people’s bodies is because humans decided (on their own, without any help from any frigid God) that our nature is taboo. Our ancestors came up with this dumb ass idea back in the caveman days, and we’ve passed that dumb lie down from generation to generation ever since. We’re so used to it that we accept it completely. People rarely question the dumb ass taboo on nudity because we’re raised to believe that it goes without saying that nudity is unnatural and taboo. We’re all so dumb that we’ve convinced ourselves we live in a bizarro universe where natural nudity is unnatural and unnatural clothes are natural. We’re all so convinced of this dumb ass illusion that we actively believe (or at least passively accept) that the government has a moral obligation to protect us from ourselves to the extent that the government can literally throw women in jail for taking their shirts off in the same places men can take their shirts off.

Have you ever heard the song, “Doo Wop, That Thing” by Lauren Hill? We’re so afraid of our own sexuality that we can’t even say the word “sex.” Notice how there’s never any sex in fairy tales for children? Notice how shocking the very idea of having sex scenes in fairy tales is? But what do you think the spoiled princess and the subservient knight are going to be doing for happily ever after? They’re going to be fucking, and it’s not always going to be porcelain doll sex. After the salad days are over and they start getting bored of their sex life they’re going to look for ways to make it more exciting. They’re going to let down their pretenses about being goody-two-shoes, and for the vast majority of their marriage, they’re going to be fucking like two elephant seals fighting over territory. Oh, they’ll do things with their bodies they wouldn’t tell their mothers about. In fact, there will be blood. But that’s not even the worst of it. For example, when prince charming gets old he’s going to walk around the palace naked with his old, hairy balls dragging behind him, and when the princess gets old her vibrant tropical flower is going to wilt and to the point where it looks more like an elephant’s mouth, and even after it the princess gets so old that her tropical flower has gone from an elephant’s mouth to an old pile of dusty chicken skin,  she’s going to keep banging prince charming like an elephant seal.

 

 

That’s the unmentionable reality, but kids have no idea what’s in store for them because we keep feeding them this Disney crap version of reality where sex and nudity don’t exist and everyone is a Southern Baptist. Raising children on this bizarro version of reality sets them up for sexual failure and frustration later in life.

Think about it. Honestly, everyone thinks about sex all the time. Everybody thinks about fucking almost everybody else all the time. Everybody wants to get fucked, and most of the time they don’t want to be caressed like a precious petal. They want to be fucked like an animal.

That old librarian, that dilapidated toll booth attendant, the old folks who you go to get your vehicle permits and government benefits forms from, the princess in the front row of the class, the geek in the back, the teacher…they’re all sex addicts.And the ones who aren’t, are in a lot of pain because they’ve brutally suppressed their own nature through self-denial and self-punishment. And yet we all walk around acting like Southern Baptists when we’re really sex addicts.

Sex is natural. Nudity is natural. Our sexual desires are as natural and as vital as the need to eat, drink and sleep. If you starve yourself of sexual gratification, then you’ll get hungry and starve.Everybody knows that starving beasts become dangerous predators. That’s why so many priests molest little boys. Raise people on frigid sexual morals that starve them of their natural appetites, and they’ll turn into desperate beasts who will stop at nothing to make the hunger go away. If they don’t end up raping or molesting someone, they’ll become broken inside. Neither of those paths are good or necessary. You know what is good and necessary? The sight of the female form.

 

Play this song while reading the rest of this blog. 

 

Strip clubs only have a bad reputation because the rest of society still believes in caveman morality. In reality, strips clubs are a beacon of sexual freedom. Their very existence challenges the past and looks to the future, a future where all people can live free from fear and sexual oppression. Sure, on multiple levels, strip clubs are a little depressing, but that’s only because of the caveman sexual morals society imposes on itself.

Once society stops living in the past and legalizes sex and nudity, then strip clubs will be able to blossom to their full potential. When that day comes, men and women will be able to comfortably and guiltlessly marvel at the natural beauty of a med school drop out’s body while having lunch. And that med school drop-out will be able to proudly display the body God (if God exists ) gave her. And the only consequence of one person admiring another person’s beauty will be their mutual enjoyment. If I live to see that day, I’ll lift my glass to both of them and think, “What a wonderful world we share.”

 

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Why You Need To Be A Little Slutty

 

"Definition of 'slut:' A person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you."

 

It’s a common belief that it’s immoral to perform any sexual activity before marriage, and after marriage, you can only perform several basic sexual positions with one person for the rest of your life. We got this idea from religion, but religion is mythology. It’s not based on reason or evidence. It’s based on the subjective cultural taboos of primitive societies. Sexual prudishness is not a virtue. It’s a destructive and wasteful lifestyle that conditions you to accept an unfulfilling life. If you want to live a fulfilling life you need to base your sexual values on reason and evidence.

The reality of human sexuality is that humans are hardwired in their DNA to want to crave sex… and not just missionary sex between one man and one woman (who are both over 18 years old) for the rest of their lives. Humans are designed to be sex addicts, and it takes more than one kind of treatment to manage our addiction. We need a full spectrum approach to manage our biological needs. It’s not always practical to have sex, but we still need to have orgasms. Handjobs, oral sex, and toys are as practical as they are fun. Without them, your mind and body lock up with anxiety, and the ripple effects of that anxiety will lower your total quality of life. Relieving that anxiety not only frees you to enjoy life but the confidence and satisfaction that a healthy sex life gives you will raise the total quality of your life.

Masturbation is an invaluable remedy to sexual frustration, but it’s not a permanent substitute for a sexual partner. Biologically and psychologically, you need someone to be sexually active with from the age when you first start yearning for sex. That will happen years before it becomes practical to sign a lifetime contract to share a home and all your money with another person… if that’s ever practical at all.  It would be nice if you could be in a sexual relationship with your soul mate, but your body can’t wait for you to search the whole world for that one perfect person. At any rate, you need years of independence to grow into a complete person yourself before you’ll be compatible with the perfect person for you.

In the meantime, you still need to be sexually active with someone or else you’ll be plagued by anxiety, loneliness, and emptiness, and you won’t be making as many strides in your personal growth as you would be able to if you had a healthy sex life. This means you either need a “friend with benefits” or you need to have casual sex. A friend with benefits is far less stressful and less dangerous than casual sex, but if you don’t have a friend with benefits you still need someone to help you manage your sex life, and your potential sex partners need someone to help them manage theirs. You don’t have to have sex with strangers. Handjobs, oral sex, and toys are options that are always on the table.

Taking advantage of these options doesn’t make you a bad person. Crushing your soul with sexual frustration will, however, turn you into a bad person, or at least not as good of a person as you could have been. So total abstinence isn’t virtuous. It’s foolish and irresponsible because it has negative real-world consequences. Being a little slutty is, in fact, wise and productive.

Aside from relieving anxiety and building confidence, sexual activity is fun. It’s one of the finer spices of life. If you’re not going to seize the day and enjoy your life then what are you doing here? If God exists then it was God who designed us to be sex addicts and made sex so pleasurable. God must want us to be a little slutty. God would certainly want us to be happy, and regardless of whether or not God exists, you should be happy. If you have the chance to be happy then do it. That’s virtuous. That’s wise. That’s mature.

Just be safe. Don’t have sex with skanks. Always use protection. Never force anyone to do anything they don’t want to. Try everything once. Just be smart about it and not only will you live a better life but you’ll help others do the same. There’s nothing better than that. So for goodness sake, be a little slutty.

 

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My Theory On Why So Many Women Have Rape Fantasies

I was raised in the Bible Belt where women hid their sexuality under poker faces and bland dresses. Growing up watching Disney movies, I came to the conclusion that women were basically asexual and would only consent to sex reluctantly after thousands of hours of a man begging and bribing her. Even then, women only wanted men to make sweet, tender, passionate love to them. In my twenties, it came as a huge shock to learn women actually have strong sex drives, and they often prefer hard, pounding, ravishing sex over vanilla lovemaking. In my thirties, I read a stack of psychology books about female sexuality and was even more surprised to learn that between 3090 percent of women have recurring rape fantasies despite the fact that most of them feel profound guilt about it. This made me seriously question why so many women have rape fantasies.

Some feminists explain this mystery by saying we live in a rape culture, where “rape is pervasive and normalized due to societal attitudes about gender and sexuality.” I disagree with this theory because even though we definitely live in a sex-culture, you’d have to have a victim complex as bad as the person below not to see that rape is overwhelmingly shunned by society.

 

Screenshot of a tweet by @proud_womyn: "During pregnancy, males have penises inside their mother's vaginas. They are literally raping their own mothers. #NotAnotherMonster"

 

Psychologists have offered the explanation that rape fantasies are a way for women to imagine having sex without the shame of feeling like a slut. This explanation makes more sense. Despite how much sex we’re exposed to in the media, slut shaming is still a thing. When people are sexually repressed, they find creative ways to indulge their sexuality. However, promiscuous and prudish women both have rape fantasies, which leads me to the conclusion that rape fantasies are caused more by nature than nurture.

My theory is that rape fantasies stem from Darwinism. Having sex and marrying for love is a relatively new cultural norm. For most of human history, women have been forced into marriages through slavery and arranged marriages where they had to have sex with a man they didn’t choose. Outside of marriage, it’s fair to assume billions of children have been born from women being raped in the streets and in wars. It’s even a cliché that in the cave man days, if a man wanted a woman, he bonked her on the head with a club and raped her.

 

Drawing of a cave man carrying a club and dragging an unconscious cave woman by her hair

 

Basically, the survival of the human race up until modern times has been achieved largely by rape. You and I don’t like the sound of that, but our DNA is amoral; it will reinforce whatever behavior ensures the survival of a species by encoding past behaviors in itself and passing them down through generations as instincts.

I’m not saying women are born victims who want to be raped any more than I believe men are born closet rapists who spend their lives struggling to hold back the overwhelming urge to abuse women… like this guy seems to think:

 

 

I’m not saying rape is natural or defensible in any way. All I’m saying is our ancestors’ fucked up experiences conditioned us to have fucked up thoughts. I’m not proud of this. I don’t want it to be true. It’s just the most logical explanation I’ve found that concisely explains why men tend to be sexually aggressive and women tend to fantasize about sexually aggressive men and prefer ravenous sex over Prince Charming sex.

We’re more than the sum of our sex drive. A strand of DNA is six feet long. It contains more instructions than the vestiges of our ancestors’ sexual experiences. Our brains are cosmic supercomputers capable of consciousness, awareness of others, logic, empathy, and a million other positive, empowering abilities and predispositions.

We’re biological machines that are designed to survive, and let’s be honest, our rocky evolution has left us with more than a few quirky subconscious features that conflict with our higher level thinking. Everyone has thought of killing someone. Most people have even fantasized about it at length. Everyone watches movies that allow them to live vicariously through imaginary characters who spend their lives unapologetically killing, stealing, cheating and screwing. Women fantasize about rape for the same reason everyone fantasizes about stealing a million dollars. The two daydreams are functionally and morally equivalent.

In your lifetime, you’re going to think an astronomical number of thoughts. Every consecutive thought you have builds on the previous one. As you think through every subject you know about, inevitably, you’re going to reach some thoughts that are a lot farther out there than you believed yourself capable of. Some of these thoughts will be genius, and some will be illegal.

That’s okay. You’re a sentient computer processing information. That’s what you do. The point is to think through everything enough to make the most productive decisions in your real life. As long as you have enough common sense and respect for life not to act on your wildest passing musings, there’s no reason you should limit what you think about or hate yourself for it.

If fantasizing about getting gangbanged helps you get through the morning, enjoy it like a good cup of coffee. Before you feel guilty of what other people would think, trust me, everyone has masturbated to thinking about something that would shock your socks off.

 

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My Long Theory On Gender Labels and Sexual Morality

If an American turned on their television in the 1950’s, they’d see women cooking and cleaning the house, and men going to work in business suits. Boys played with toy guns, and girls played with dolls. There were only two choices for sex and gender, but it wasn’t really a choice because the genitals you were born with determined how society expected you to behave.  If you were born with a penis, you acted like Ward Clever, and if you were born with a vagina, you acted like June Clever.

 

 

In the 1950’s, American television culture was so prudish, sitcoms weren’t allowed to show married heterosexual couples in the same bed.  So husbands and wives were always portrayed sleeping in separate twin-sized beds, fully clothed. When the children who grew up watching “Leave it to Beaver” became adults, they considered the sitcom, “Three’s Company” obscene, because it showed a single man living with two single females. To the old-timers’ dismay, “Three’s Company” was popular enough with the younger generation to last eight seasons.

 

 

In 2004, the Baby Boomers who grew up on “Three’s Company” considered “The L Word” obscene because it showed promiscuous lesbians living together and getting married. The only reason “The L Word” was allowed on television at all, was because it aired on late night cable, far from the impressionable eyes of children.

It didn’t take another twenty years for society to accept the next jump in which sexual norms are allowed to be shown on television. In less than a decade, the bonds of tradition loosened to the point that NBC (a family oriented channel) produced, “The New Normal,” a sitcom in which two gay men hire a woman to be a surrogate mother for their child.

 

 

If that wasn’t enough to give Baby Boomers heart attacks, they also had to come to terms with shows like “Ru Paul’s Drag Race” and “Keeping up with the Kardashians,” in which transsexuals openly demand to be celebrated. To the old-timers’ dismay, both of those shows are so popular with young people, they’ve already lasted more seasons than “Three’s Company.”

 

 

In the history of mankind, society has never changed this fast. The reason this is happening now is because technology is spreading information to people, who are learning more, faster than ever. Radio and TV were unprecedented, but the invention of the internet sped up communication exponentially, and its pace is still compounding. If things are changing so fast right now your head is spinning, it’s going to have spun completely off your body in twenty years because this whirlwind of change is only going to get faster.

Sexual orientation and gender norms have always been debated, but the conversation has never been this polarized or violent. The reason the national dialogue on sex and gender isn’t as calm as it was in the 1990’s is because we’re all in uncharted territory. The young, progressive liberals leading the charge are as lost as the elderly conservative curmudgeons who are holding onto tradition. Moderates in the middle are wondering who is less wrong.

For example, you used to be considered a liberal progressive if you believed in women’s right to work or homosexuals’ right to marry, but if the progressive social justice warriors get their way in 2017, when you fill out a job application that asks your gender, it will have to include 50-80 different types of gender pronouns your coworkers will have to address you by, according to your choice.

 

New proposed gender nouns to replace "he and she:" fae, ey, he, per, she, they, ve, xe, zie, faer, em, him, per, her, them, ver, xem, hir, eir, his, pers, her, their, vis, xyr, eirs, pers, hers, theirs, vis, xyrs, hirs, eirself, himself, perself, herself, themself, verself, xemself, hirself"

Don’t ask me to explain this chart. I don’t know.

 

To some of America’s social justice warriors, those pronouns aren’t enough to accurately label everyone. So they invented a chart explaining how sex and gender are part of a spectrum, which children can use to determine the nature of their gender and sexuality. Every American agrees freedom of choice is a good thing, but even moderate liberals laugh and cringe at The Gender Unicorn.

 

The Gender Unicorn identity chart has five spectrums: Gender Identity, Gender Expression, Sex Assigned at Birth, Physically Attracted to, Emotionally Attracted to"

 

There actually is a degree of truth to the fluidity of sex and gender, but it’s more nuanced than social justice warriors or Christians are ready to admit. For starters, the traditional way of thinking about sex and gender is that there are only two possibilities. You’re either a boy with a penis or a girl with a vagina. Life isn’t that simple. Sex organs are determined by chromosomes. If you have an XY chromosome, you’ll be born with a penis and all the hormones that make you think and act masculine. If you have  XX chromosomes, you’ll be born with a vagina and all the chromosomes that make you think and act feminine.

However, people are often born with a mismatched combination of chromosomes like XXY, XXXY, or just X. These genetic codes create mixed signals within people’s body. Some combinations will cause someone to have the body of one sex, but the mental wiring of the other.  This makes them feel like they’re living in the wrong body, and no amount of will-power or philosophizing is going to change that. In these cases, getting a sex change is a drastic, but legitimate, choice.

Some conservatives argue this saying, “You may have the choice to cut your dick off, but how is that not insane?” Well, insanity is defined as “a pattern of mental or behavioral patterns that may be abnormal to social norms and definitely causes someone to be a danger to themselves or others.”

Chopping your dick off is definitely abnormal. It’s probably not going to cause you to harm other people, but the suicide rate among transsexuals is above average. So technically, being a transsexual fits the definition of insanity, but so does autism and ADHD. Down syndrome and neurofibromatosis are caused by abnormal chromosomes. So if you’re going to hate transsexuals for being born with a more difficult genetic makeup to manage than the average person, then you need to hate almost everybody.

Some transsexuals don’t have abnormal chromosomes, but their life experiences convinced them to seek a new identity. For example, I once met a man who got a sex change and lived as a woman. He was molested repeatedly by his father as a child, and he told me that at one point when he was being raped, it was like a switch went off in his head. He remembered thinking, “Daddy has sex with mommy, and daddy is having sex with me. So I must be a mommy.” The rest of his life was a downward spiral into confusion and self-destructive behavior. Technically, this person’s thoughts and behavior fit the definition of insanity, but if you’re going to hate him for that, you’re not trying to understand anything, and you’re one of the bad guys.  Even if he made the wrong decision, that doesn’t mean he deserves to be hated.

On a lighter note, I once met a teenage girl who identified as a man, but she spent her evenings shopping for shoes on her smartphone and doing everything girls do, including dating guys. She got swept up in the social movement for sexual equality before she was old enough to understand genetics and found a niche that gave her an identity even though it didn’t truly fit her. She’ll undoubtedly grow out of it like I grew out of my heavy metal phase.Does this make her an insane piece of shit who deserves to be spat on? No. She’s just a naive kid trying to find herself, like the rest of us.

Her story doesn’t change the fact that there are more than two types of chromosome patterns humans can be born with. Transsexuals are real. If you can’t accept that, then you don’t believe in reality, which fits the definition of insanity. At the same time though, you don’t get to decide you’re a real transsexual just because it’s trendy.

If the poser transsexual I mentioned above wants to wear pants instead of dresses and get a job instead of raising children, her decision is amoral, not immoral. Scottish men wear kilts. Arab men wear a long, flowing garb called a thawb, which looks dress-like to Westerners. Different cultures all over the world, and throughout history, have assigned different gender roles to men and women, including how they dress, act and work.

These kind of gender differences are social constructs that we have social pressure to follow but no moral obligation. Anyone can dress however they want. Clothing patterns are a non-issue. If you believe you have a divine duty to enforce your parents’ dress code on everyone else, you’re intellectually lazy at best, and insane at worst.

Granted, telling a preschooler they get to choose how to define their sexuality and gender role for the rest of their life is setting them up for failure. If you tell a five-year-old boy he can be whatever he wants, he’s more likely to choose to be a dinosaur than a girl.

Kids don’t know what the hell is going on, and this is all the more reason we shouldn’t encourage girls to wear dresses and play with Barbies, and boys to wear pants and play with action figures. We’re indoctrinating kids with gender roles that wouldn’t matter if they were broken. In the cosmic scale of things, the clothes you wear don’t matter. They’re useful, but it’s unnecessary to force people to wear clothes that fit your fleeting cultural upbringing.

 

 

Another unnecessary social construct is the idea that everyone under the age of eighteen is going to be traumatized by seeing genitals. No other animal on the planet gets worked up over seeing genitals, and children who grow up in nudist colonies don’t leave traumatized. Their curse is having to live the rest of their lives wondering why everyone else is so uptight.

The solution to whether or not trans men should be allowed to use women’s bathrooms is to remove all gender segregation and let men and women piss, shit and shower together. This sounds outrageous if you’ve never experienced it, but that’s not because it’s crazy. It’s because you’ve been indoctrinated with your society’s cultural norms. If everyone walked around naked together, like in the shower scene in “Starship Troopers,” we would all just get on with our lives and not worry about other people’s bodies.

At some point, someone may get raped by sharing bathrooms, but I sincerely believe there will be fewer rapes overall because society’s sexual frustration level will be lower across the board. If we’re going to segregate the sexes and force people to hide their skin, then we can’t condemn cultures that force women to cover their entire bodies. They’re doing the same thing as you. They’ve just taken your moderate style of oppression and ran with it to its inevitable conclusion.

Who you choose to have sex with is just as much of a non-issue as what clothes you wear or who sees your genitals. Sexual attraction is partly determined by hormones and partly by choice. Either way, if you get stranded on a deserted island for the rest of your life, eventually, you’re going to fuck whatever is there, even if your only companion is a sheep.

 

 

It’s an understatement to say everyone is bi-sexual. Humans are omni-sexual. The most accurate way to define humans isn’t heterosexual or homosexual. We’re all just fuck-bots. When you remove the social pressure to only have one type of sex, people will fuck just about anything. This isn’t immoral. It’s amoral. It doesn’t matter where you stick your dick, what you stick inside of you, or what orifice you stick it in… as long as nobody gets hurt or is forced to do something against their will.

Everyone over the age of thirty has thought, even just for a second, about fucking something that isn’t a member of the opposite sex. Most of us have fucked our hand or a toy, but we don’t have a special name for that because we don’t care. Imagine if we told people that if you ever think about having sex with a pocket pussy, it makes you a latex-ophile, which is how you must have been born and thus how you have to identify yourself and behave.

There are undoubtedly millions of men and women who had a passing thought that they might like to have intercourse with someone of their own sex. But because society says only gay people think about that, people often assume their one-off fantasy must mean they’re gay and therefore have to wear rainbow flags and act flamboyant. If we’d all grown up believing humans are just horny fuck bots and it doesn’t matter how you achieve orgasm, we’d all get on with our lives and not end up basing our personality on our sexual fantasies.

I’m not saying it’s wrong to identify as gay. Some people have the right cocktail of hormones that predispose them to want to have gay sex. However, they’re not going to burst into flames if they decide to have heterosexual intercourse. So all I’m saying is it’s unnecessary to force people into conforming to a social group that fits their fantasies. Many militant homosexuals and heterosexuals alike are guilty of forcing this dichotomy on others.

In conclusion, progressives are correct that there are more than two choices for how to live. However, forcing people to pick one of eighty labels, and then demonizing people who don’t, is oppressive in exactly the same way as forcing people to pick between one of two labels and demonizing those who don’t fit your expectations. The left has become guilty of enforcing too many labels, and the right has been guilty of enforcing too few. The solution is to get rid of the need for any labels by not giving a fuck about other people.

Most people who read this probably won’t agree with half of what I’ve said, but I believe history will vindicate me. I believe the future will look like Star Trek, where everyone wears gender neutral onesies because people will have stopped worrying about socially constructed gender differences. There will also be men who wear dresses and women who wear combat boots. Everyone will be showering with each other and having casual sex. The world won’t end. Life will go on, and everyone will get more of what they want.

Most people alive today will be glad they won’t live to see the new world because they can’t let go of their traditions, which are based on archaic and intellectually lazy labels for sex and gender. If it’s any consolation, your children won’t have to pick their gender identity on a unicorn chart, and adults won’t have to pick between eighty different labels when they fill out employment applications because nobody will care enough to make that distinction.

 

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My Short Theory On Sexual Morality

Outline of a man and a woman standing back to back with a broken scale holding the masculine and feminine sex symbols

 

The premise of this philosophy is drawn from my overall philosophy on ethics: Every living being is equally valuable and entitled to the same inalienable rights. Everyone is entitled to the freedom to live, grow, and exercise their free will as long as it doesn’t interfere with another person’s rights. Any action that doesn’t hurt another person or interfere with their growth/will is permissible. Any rule that has no real logical justification but tells you an action is immoral even if it doesn’t hurt anyone or impede anyone’s growth will only serve to hurt people and impede their growth.

Humans are born with a powerful sex drive. We’re all addicted to sex. Even if (or rather, especially if) we’re not having sex we still crave it as strongly, and sometimes more so, than food or water. This addiction is mostly indiscriminate. We all have our fetishes and preferences, but for the most part, our body just tells us, “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” It’s actually not even that discriminating. It’d probably be more accurate to say it tells us, “Ejaculate. Ejaculate. Ejaculate. Ejaculate. Ejaculate. Ejaculate. Ejaculate.”

Mother Nature (by any other name) designed us to fuck and ejaculate our brains out, and if we choose not to then our bodies were designed with an override switch that frustrates us and makes us more and hornier until it breaks our will and more or less forces us to fuck or at least ejaculate. So we should ejaculate for our own mental health and for the safety of others so that our override switch doesn’t get flipped. However, you bring yourself to orgasm, as long as it doesn’t hurt another person or impede their growth/will, is morally permissible.

Our DNA predisposes us to be generally attracted to one sex or the other, but that general attraction neither permanent nor a moral imperative. Everyone will have cultural deviant fantasies in their life, and this isn’t a moral flaw. It’s by design. Our bodies are designed to be omnisexual. Labels for sexual orientation and fetishes are products of culture. At the end of the day, underneath our skin, we’re all just horny animals, and that’s okay.

If you want to live a safe, mentally healthy life you need to accept yourself for what you are, a sexual being. Masturbate with confidence. Use sex toys with confidence. Have premarital sex with confidence. Have gay sex with confidence. Just practice your sexuality responsibly, which is to say, in a way that respects your obligation to live, grow, exercise your free will and not harm anyone else or impede their right to grow/will.

 

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Why I Don’t Like Strip Clubs

Photo of the exterior of a strip club with a neon sign that says, "GIRLS GIRLS."

 

It’s not that I have a moral objection to strip clubs. I firmly believe that most of our morals against all things sexual are archaic and illogical. I certainly don’t believe that women’s chests are inherently evil and thus strip clubs are immoral because you can see women’s evil chests there.

I don’t believe strip clubs degrade women and treat them like meat either…at least, not any more than any other servile customer service job does. I wouldn’t want any woman I know to work at one, but it’s a woman’s choice. It’s not the best choice, but at the end of the day, strippers are professionals working in a customer service role where consenting adults exercise their right to free will in a safe environment to fill a demand and make more money than my job pays. So that’s not why I hate going to strip clubs. Here’s why I do:

This is what happens when you go to a strip club. You pay an unreasonable amount of money to get in the door even though you could see naked woman for free on the internet. You could also spend less money buying a girl drinks at a bar and taking her home. Granted, at a strip club you get to watch a bunch of girls dance around naked without having to spend half the night pretending to be more confident, successful, or interested in the girl you’re talking to than you really are, but at American strip clubs you can’t touch the girls.

It reminds me of one time when I was 5 or 6 years old and my dad promised me and my brothers that if we cleaned our rooms he would take us to Toys R Us, a gigantic toy store. So we cleaned our rooms like never before, and the next day our dad took us to Toys R Us like he promised. We all picked out one toy we wanted, and when we brought them to our dad he looked at us like we were stupid and said, “I told you I’d take you to Toys R Us. I didn’t say I’d buy you anything.” That hurt. That’s the feeling I get from strip clubs.

Even what little you can touch the girls you’re still not going to achieve… satisfaction. You’re just going to get all pent up and frustrated. It’s like going to a car show and getting all excited about the amazing cars there even though you’re not going to get to drive any. Why torture yourself like that?

To add insult to injury, the girls there don’t even like you. In all likelihood they despise you. Even if you’re not a fat, greasy, disgusting scum bag, they assume you’re there because you’re too lame to get a real girlfriend, but they pretend to like you, which makes them liars. If I called you up and said, “Hey, wanna go hang out with a bunch of liars tonight?” You’d tell me you have better things to do.

Even if you don’t want to throw your money away sticking it in resentful lying girls’ panties, you can always just sit there and watch. What better scenery to watch while drinking overpriced beers and chatting with your bros than a bunch of beautiful women?

Wait a minute. You can’t just sit there and watch. Whether you want to touch these girls or not, they’re going to ask you if you want to buy a lap dance. Then, when you tell them you don’t want to give them all your money, they’re going to scowl at you and make you feel bad about it like you’re a Scrooge. Why would you pay to enter a room full of people who are going to make you feel guilty for not doing something you don’t want to do?

So basically, when you ask me if I want to go to a strip club, you’re really asking me to pay a ton of money to get sexually frustrated by a bunch of resentful liars who look down on me and won’t hesitate to make me feel guilty if I don’t give them what they want.

Why don’t I just go in the bathroom and flush my money down the toilet while punching myself in the balls and shouting self-deprecating remarks at myself in the mirror? At least then I won’t have to leave the house. That’s why I don’t like going to strip clubs.

 

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