Category Archives: The 2016 Presidential Elections

Everything Wrong With America’s 2016 Presidential Primaries

"Trying to pick my favorite politician is like trying to decide which STD would be best for me. "


The president of the USA is arguably the most powerful person in the world. This person has the power to build, destroy and rebuild nations. The lives of literally everyone on the planet is affected by who the president of the United States is. Your quality of life will be affected by who the next president of the United States is. If that person doesn’t wield their power with great responsibility and wisdom, but continues to behave the way the past two presidents did, then America will go bankrupt and World War 3 will spill out of the Middle East. So it’s vital that the next president of the United States be wiser than King Solomon and stronger than King David.

Understanding the gravity of the situation, the current list of potential candidates for the 2016 presidential election should make you sad and scared.  None of them are up to the task of representing the American people let alone setting foreign policies that treat the rest of the world respectfully and humanely.

At least five of the Republican nominees (notably George Pataki, John Kasich, Jim Gilmore, Carly Fiorina, and Ben Carson) don’t stand any chance of winning. They don’t have the money, name recognition or leadership skills necessary to win the election let alone run the most powerful country in the world. Any political advisor with a high school diploma knows this. Their political advisors know this, which raises the question, why are they running? The best case scenario is that they’re doing this as a publicity stunt to improve their existing careers. The worst case scenario is that they’re acting like members of a NASCAR team who have no intention of winning the race and are only in the competition to get in the way of their teammate’s competition. Either way, their presence in the race reveals how America’s presidential elections have devolved into a corrupt theatrical performance.

At least six of the Republican nominees (notably, Rick Santorum, Scott Walker, Rick Perry, Mike Huckabee, Ted Cruz and Bobby Jindal) are Christian zealots who want to inject their religious values into law. They believe that since America was founded by Christians, and the majority of Americans today are Christian that means it’s only just that the laws of America reflect Christianity, but this ignores the fact that America is full of non-Christians who don’t want, and shouldn’t have to, live under the Christian equivalent of Sharia law.

Even if America were a Christian nation, there are more important issues that the American people need their president to focus on besides taking America back to the dark ages. Even if there were a reason why the American government should be more Christian, all of the Republican candidates are rich and powerful liars who are serving themselves and paying lip service to their professed faith. The only Christian issues they talk about are a few cherry-picked items that are popular with their voting demographic. These men are a danger to non-Christians, and they lack the integrity to represent real Christians.

With the exception of Donald Trump and Ben Carson, all of the Republican nominees are professional campaigners. They’ve all built their careers on contributions from wealthy donors. They’re all compromised and have long histories of not acting in the best interest of the common man. None of their solutions to the American people’s problems address the root cause of those issues: economic inequality, which should come as no surprise since they’re all indebted to the people who create and sustain economic inequality… people like Donald Trump.

Donald Trump was born to rich parents and inherited the business they built, which he made even more profitable by underpaying his workers, overcharging his customers, bribing politicians and hoarding his profits. In the last 1980’s he made national news for throwing a one-night party that cost $1 million. He exploited bankruptcy laws to avoid paying taxes until those laws were changed, and he has donated at least $100,000 to Hillary Clinton in exchange for undisclosed favors. He has also run for president once already as a publicity stunt to boost ratings for his television show, “The Apprentice.”

Donald Trump has no interest in representing the average Americans, but a lot of poor people like him because he speaks frankly. The reason he speaks frankly though, is because he’s not trying to win the presidency. He’s just trying to stay in the headlines to improve his popularity because it’s good for his business. He’s laughing at his supporters all the way to the bank. I’m sure nobody is more surprised than him that he’s made it this far, but he can’t, won’t and shouldn’t go the distance. He’s a farce of a human being, let alone a presidential candidate, and the fact that he is a presidential candidate just goes to prove how farcical America’s presidential elections have become.


"Donald Trump isn't going to win. The system isn't set up that way! He's here to lose so you are satisfied with whoever they put in office."

I was wrong. Turns out the truth is far worse. Our system is just that broken.


The only other Republican candidate who would do more to help big business crush the poor than Donald Trump is part-time libertarian, Rand Paul who wants to eliminate as much government as possible. While there’s no doubt that big government is a big problem in America, and we definitely need to eliminate a lot of its overreach, die-hard Libertarians want to throw the baby out with the bath water. They believe that once government regulations are removed then the guiding hand of the free market will stop big businesses from committing human rights abuses. But regulations exist, because before those regulations existed big businesses used every time-tested unethical trick in the book to destroy competition and exploit everyone and everything they could to make more profits. Removing regulations that protect workers, customers and the environment will just cause history to repeat itself. Rand Paul won’t be the next president of the USA, but it still makes me sad and frightened that someone who wants to recreate the America that Upton Sinclair described in The Jungle can get this close to the presidency.

The only two serious Democratic presidential candidates right now are Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders. Hillary Clinton is the quintessential career politician. Some people like her because they say she has the most political experience, but that just means she has the most experience lining her pockets with campaign contributions, playing the system and becoming compromised. She would win the general election hands down if she simply called herself a Republican instead of a Democrat, because she’s the strongest pro-business candidate of all the politicians who are falling over themselves to work for the ultra-rich. If I had to bet money on who is going to win the presidency, I would bet on Hillary Clinton, because she’s spent the most time and effort courting all the people who directly or indirectly choose who the president will be, and that’s not the American people.

The only candidate in the race who seems to genuinely care about the average American and who is talking about the root causes of America’s problems is Bernie Sanders. I would be more excited about him if we didn’t already hear Barack Obama say all the right things and make all the right promises in his campaigns only to completely sell out to big business the moment he got into office. What few things he did try to accomplish for the common man were completely blocked by all the other politicians who work for big businesses. The exact same thing is going to happen to whoever becomes president, even Bernie Sanders, because that’s how the system is designed to work.

There is no way any presidential candidate is going to represent the American people. That’s not pessimistic. It’s simply the depressing reality of American government. That should make everyone in the world sad and scared.


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Why It’s Delusional To Vote In America’s 2016 Presidential Election

One of the fundamental tenets of American culture is that it has the best political and economic system to ever exist, which is proven by the unparalleled level of freedom and opportunity guaranteed to any citizen, especially those who work the hardest. Everything great about America stems from the Constitution and the electoral system, which gives the people the power to choose who represents them in government.

Americans believe in their election system so deeply they ridicule and shame anyone who chooses not to vote. Ironically, most Americans don’t vote, but they still have faith in the system and criticize anyone who expresses too much distrust in the value of voting.



Every American needs to ask themselves, how much proof would it take to convince you that your vote doesn’t count? How blatantly rigged and corrupt would a presidential election have to become before you conceded voting is merely an exercise in holding onto a delusion? I believe the 2016 presidential election crossed that line and anyone who still has faith in the system is holding onto an optimistic conspiracy theory that has already been thoroughly debunked.

The evidence for this conclusion started piling up long before 2016 in America’s quality of life statistics. Compared to other countries, America isn’t ranked highest for freedom or lowest for corruption. America has the highest prison population in the world, which is mostly due to America’s war on drugs, which every major academic study done on the subject has determined causes more harm than good, yet the government refuses to change its policies on. Depression, suicide, and homelessness are epidemic, especially among veterans, the people who should be the proudest of their country. Poverty is epidemic. Most Americans have less than 1 month’s salary in savings, which means most Americans don’t have any retirement savings. Rent and mortgages are unaffordable in most cities. College tuition is so inflated it probably won’t pay off even if you could afford it. You can’t blame America’s poverty on laziness, because wages have failed to keep up with the cost of living. The problem is systemic.

By every major quality of life standard, most Americans are economically and politically oppressed. These problems have persisted and gotten worse through every president and Congress in recent history. If America’s electoral system worked as great as Americans say it does, then why has America devolved so badly?



In 2016 it’s practically hypocritical for Americans to defend the sanctity of voting since Congress has an 11% approval rating, and the top two presidential candidates in 2016 have record low approval ratings. It’s delusional to maintain faith in a system that puts/keeps leaders in power who the majority doesn’t want there.

The problem isn’t that democracy is a failed experiment. The only reason voting doesn’t work in America is because of the Democratic National Committee (DNC) and the Republican National Committee (RNC).  These two organizations act like staffing agencies for elected government positions. In order to run for any major political office, you have to become a member of one of these two agencies. Once accepted, they provide money and support to help you manage your election campaign.

Theoretically, anyone can run for office as an independent or third-party candidate, but the DNC and RNC have passed laws that make it virtually impossible to win a major election without being allied to them, which means there’s no chance of any other political party winning a majority of the seats in Congress.

Ultimately, the DNC and RNC control which politicians the voters get to choose between, but it barely matters who wins, because the DNC and RNC let wealthy businessmen decide which laws elected officials pass in exchange for campaign donations. The DNC and RNC even let corporations write laws, which elected officials then sign into effect. If that doesn’t defeat the purpose of an election, then I don’t know what does.

It also defeats the purpose of picking a leader if the candidates you’re given to pick between are the worst people in the country. The DNC and RNC chose some of the most incompetent, corrupt, divisive politicians to run in the 2016 presidential primaries. Americans had no choice who made the short list, and there’s no chance they would have picked the same group if they had a say in the matter. Being forced to pick between the lesser of evils isn’t freedom of choice.


Photo of campaign signs for Sanders, Trump and Clinton next to a sign advertising, pinestraw. The photo is caption,ed, "I'M WITH PINESTRAW."


The “winner” of the RNC presidential primaries was Donald Trump, a racist, xenophobic, megalomaniac psychopath billionaire with a long track record of corruption, indecency and bad ideas. A number of parallels between Donald Trump’s rhetoric and Adolph Hitler’s is so similar it would be comical if he wasn’t a step away from becoming the leader of the most powerful military in history.

The “winner” of the DNC presidential primaries was Hillary Clinton, a career politician famous for corruption, lying, and meanness. Despite her claims that she’s been working for the people her entire career, she’s been a part of the system that has driven America to ruin. Before and during her presidential campaign, she accepted millions of dollars of donations for speaking to the wealthy corporations who have been hoarding the nation’s wealth by exploiting the common worker. She’s able but unwilling to release transcripts of these speeches, because she knows she promised to keep the 1%’s profits safe from the deserving hands of the poor.

Hillary Clinton’s opponent in the DNC’s presidential primaries, Bernie Sanders, quickly and temporarily earned a cult following because he spoke against corporate corruption in Washington DC. Bernie Sanders lost, but it’s a documented fact that election fraud took place in key states that helped Hillary win. It’s also documented that the DNC took more secret steps to discredit Bernie Sanders and help Hillary Clinton win the nomination.

Even without that, Hillary Clinton already had an unfair advantage by having superdelegates pledge to vote for her. “Superdelegates” are random powerful people who the DNC allows to cast a super vote in the DNC presidential primary race. A superdelegate’s vote is equal to about 700,000 regular votes, and the superdelegate can still cast their regular vote. If that sounds confusing, it’s because superdelegates are legalized election-rigging.

Hillary Clinton shouldn’t have even been in the race to begin with, because she was under criminal investigation by the FBI for mishandling top-secret information when she was Secretary of State. The FBI found her guilty of wrongdoing but cleared her of any criminal offenses, and they were quick to add they wouldn’t treat anyone else who did the exact same thing so leniently.

Guilty or not guilty, anyone actively under investigation by the FBI shouldn’t be allowed to run for president. Not only is Hillary running, but she’s at the front of the race because multiple government agencies bent and broke the law to help her win… despite the fact that most Americans, conservative and liberal alike, despise her. Donald Trump is the only person America reviles more than Hillary Clinton, which is probably the only reason the RNC chose him to run against her.

Even if Trump won the popular vote, like Bernie Sanders probably did, Hillary Clinton will still win, because the popular vote doesn’t determine who wins the presidency. The electoral college makes the final vote, and they’re part of the political machinery that has already proven it’s committed to ramrodding Hillary Clinton into office.

Hillary Clinton will be the next president of the United States, but she won’t be the leader of a democracy, because she wasn’t chosen by the people. She should be arrested and sentenced to life in prison for treason and all her other acts of corruption, but making an example out of her won’t change anything. The root of the problem is the existence of the DNC and RNC.

It’s time to stop waiting for the DNC and RNC to do a better job. That’s like waiting for a serial killer to stop slitting your children’s’ throats in their sleep. They’re the source of America’s apocalyptic problems. Minor political reform won’t achieve lasting change as long as the root of the problem still exists. The only way for America to become great again is for the DNC and RNC to abdicate. Discussing whether Trump can or should beat Hillary in the 2016 presidential election distracts from the only conversation America should be having right now: How can the DNC and RNC abdicate peacefully?

If there was ever a time in America’s history when you shouldn’t vote, 2016 is the year. The first step the American people need to take to bring about real change is to vote against the two corrupt ruling parties by not voting.



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What I Think Of Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders

The 2016 presidential primary race is almost over, and it has come down to three hopefuls: Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders. I’ve had a lot of people ask me what I think about the candidates and who I think is going to win. So, by request, this is my theory on Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders.

Voters need to understand who these people are and what their platforms are, but that information alone can be misleading if you don’t understand how elections work and how these candidates fit into the greater political system.

Presidential elections are supposed to be a contest between the best and brightest Americans to determine who will act as the will of the citizens in government, but that’s not how elections in America work anymore, if it ever did.

The American people don’t vote for the president. They vote for representatives in the electoral college who have no obligation to vote according to the will of the people. The only reason this system exists is to act as a fail-safe in case the people don’t choose the candidate that the political system wanted to win.

For that reason alone, a vote is just a wish. That’s dystopian already, but the value of a vote is worth less than that, because all the candidates come from a small pool of applicants, not the best and brightest minds from the general population.  There are only two ways to become a presidential candidate. You either have to be a billionaire, or you have to climb the ladder of the Democratic or Republican party. So voters get to pick between the puppet on the right hand, the puppet on the left hand or the guy holding the puppets.

It doesn’t matter if a candidate is a member of the Democratic or Republican party. They’re all professional campaigners who work for the same donors and aren’t allowed into the club, let alone get allowed to run for president, unless they play ball. Even if a politician goes rogue and does things that aren’t in the interest of big business, they still have to work against thousands of powerful people who are playing ball, and those puppets will shut down the government before they let anyone challenge the status quo.

If any of this is true, consider how Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders relationship to the existing power structure:


Photo of Donald Trump


Donald Trump

Donald Trump is a member of the 1%, the people who are hoarding all the money that the poor can’t use to buy food, health care, a home or an education. Economic inequality is the biggest problem in America today, and Donald Trump is the poster child for inequality.  He made his billions the same way every billionaire did, by exploiting their workers, customers, and investors. He’s not the solution to America’s problems. He’s the embodiment of America’s problems.  The best thing that could happen to him is for economic inequality to keep getting worse.

There’s no reason to believe Donald Trump cares about anyone but himself. That’s why you shouldn’t vote for him, and also why the electoral college will never vote him into office. He’s  a liability to other billionaires.

Donald Trump knows he’s not supposed to win. He’s just there to make Democrats feel more comfortable with having Hillary Clinton as president. So Donald Trump is free to act as dramatic as possible on the campaign trail. The whole ordeal still serves his interests, because the more media coverage he gets, the bigger his celebrity status becomes. That satisfies his narcissism and increases the value of whatever products he sells in the future.


Photo of Hillary Clinton


Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton is the most experienced and willing candidate to represent the will of business owners in government, and that’s the first reason why you shouldn’t vote for her, but that’s also why I’d bet money she’ll be the next president.

Hillary has received millions of dollars in donations from the banks that caused the 2008 economic crash, and she’s had time to court every major donor in the business world. Unsurprisingly, her voting record while in office is on par with every other professional campaigner who sold their soul to the party.

If/when elected, Hillary Clinton will be Obama 2.0 or George Bush 4.0. The only difference is she doesn’t have charisma. She has such a reputation for being a lying, heartless robot that her focus groups advised her to do damage control by portraying herself a loving, grandmotherly character.  Nobody believed it, because it doesn’t take a cold reader to tell she doesn’t stand for anything except her career.

The only people who should vote for Hillary Clinton are wealthy business owners and people who believe in trickle-down economics. Even radical feminists who are hell-bent on electing the first woman president should wait this one out. Hillary Clinton isn’t a strong woman struggling to make it in a man’s world. She’s a narcissistic sociopath who will do whatever it takes to secure her own fortune and glory.


Photo of Bernie Sanders

Bernie Sanders

The first and most important reason voters should take a good look at Bernie is because he’s not accepting big money from big businesses. This makes him the least compromised candidate. He’s also the only candidate who isn’t talking in meaningless focus group-generated sound bites, and he’s the only one zeroing in on the source of America’s largest problems: economic inequality.

It doesn’t take a cold reader to tell that when Bernie Sanders talks about the American people, he actually cares, and he means what he’s saying. But a lot of Americans don’t want to hear what he’s saying because he calls himself a democratic socialist, and Americans are raised on pro-capitalist propaganda that demonizes any social or economic movement that threatens the profits of American businesses. Some Americans are so afraid of socialism that they don’t even know what it is and don’t want to know.

Democratic socialism is “a political ideology advocating a democratic political system alongside a socialist economic system, involving a combination of political democracy with social ownership of the means of production.”

Bernie Sanders isn’t advocating overthrowing all the business owners, taking away ownership in their companies and redistributing it evenly among the workers. He just wants to reign in the rampant inequality that causes the poor to suffer and stay trapped in a lifetime of wage slavery, and he’ll probably do that by taxing the rich like sort of like President Roosevelt did to fund The New Deal, except not that drastic. If you’re poor, you need this to happen. If it doesn’t, and the economy keeps operating the way it has been, you’re going to keep getting poorer.

The thing that worries me about Bernie Sanders is that he’s made it this far in politics to begin with. I want to assume the best about him, but the skeptic in me has to wonder if he’s really just in the race to get conservatives to feel better about Hillary becoming president or perhaps he’s trying to raise awareness of his ideology the same way Ron Paul ran two doomed presidential campaigns just to raise awareness of Libertarianism.

Americans should still vote for Bernie Sanders. He’s the most genuine, articulate and empathetic candidate. If Hillary Clinton has really already been chosen to be the next president, your vote will at least be a big middle finger to the people who put her in office.

I could be wrong about Hillary Clinton already being chosen, but even if Bernie Sanders beats her in a free election, you can still expect his wave of momentum to crash against the cold, hard reality of Washington the same way Obama-mania did. The rich won’t let Bernie Sanders take away their profits. That’s not how the government works.

I hate to sound pessimistic, but one way or another, Bernie Sanders’ political mission to save the poor from the rich will fail, if not on the campaign trail, then on the floor of Congress.

The only way the 2016 presidential election will raise the quality of life of the average American is if Bernie Sanders’ supporters organize into a stand-alone movement that can enact meaningful change outside of funding politicians’ campaigns.


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Corruption and Election Reform
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My Tweets About Politics

Tweets by The Wise Sloth #17: The 2016 U.S. Presidential Election

Cartoon image of a sloth sitting on a mountain top. He is wearing a yellow robe. His head is bowed with his eyes shut, and beams of light shine from around his head. With his left arm, he is holding one finger in the air. Above him are the words, "Tweets by The Wise Sloth."


Democracy is broken in America when the people have to pick between two presidential candidates nobody would have picked to be candidates.

It’s not an election if there are only two choices, both bad, but one so bad it would be insane to vote for them. That’s a bait and switch.

RNC & DNC’s job is to pick the best presidential candidates, and they pick the 2 most egotistical, unethical, divisive celebs. #youhadonejob

The government picked the two most polar opposite yet equally vile people for Americans to pick between for president, like they want riots.

How about the people pick presidential primary candidates, instead of the RNC & DNC, because they fucking suck at it.

It seems convenient that an unpalatable presidential nominee, who is depending on the female vote, is running against a cartoon misogynist.

I’d vote for a politician whose goal while in office is to make presidential nominees great again.

Imagine you were given the freedom to vote between a gorilla and the mean cheerleader for senior class president #2016election #notarealvote

Neither Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton can make America great again. Only the American people can do that.

In 2016 Americans are voting for which apocalypse they want. Your vote is a gun in your mouth. Protest by not voting. Don’t pull the trigger.

Donald Trump buys politicians, and Hillary Clinton sells her political power. Together they represent what’s wrong with campaign financing.

Any organization that selects Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump as its two favorite people has it priorities hopelessly screwed up.

Voting in America’s 2016 presidential election is tantamount to voting on whether America should go to war with Iran or Mexico.

The 2016 American presidential election isn’t a choice between the lesser of two evils. It’s a choice between two different flavors of evil.

It would have been a big moment in women’s history if Hillary Clinton became the first woman to steal an American presidential election.


You can’t become the leader of a democracy by buying, stacking or rigging an election, because then it’s not a democracy.

Life according to Conservatives: Blindly defending Democrats = sheep. Blindly defending Republicans = patriot. Not defending either = slacker.

With great power comes great accountability… unless you’re running for president of the United States. That comes with great immunity.

“Top Secret” means zero tolerance for fuck ups. If you’re not fit to handle TS info properly, you’re not fit to be the commander in chief.

Breaking rules a soldier would get an Article 15, demotion and loss of security clearance for disqualifies you from being commander in chief.

The more your political candidate blames the nation’s problems on a minority group, the more you should compare them to historical tyrants.

The more your leaders say you should be obedient to their ideology, the more you should question them.

News agencies still acting like the presidential election is legitimate and free, and aren’t demanding new candidates, are part of the problem.


It’s worth noting that, while Trump got sworn in as president, thousands of Americans were reading my blog about how to go down on a girl.

We voted for the lesser of two evils, and got an evil swamp monster. OMG! How could this have happened?

To the extent I’m disappointed in America voting for Trump, I’m proud of them for not voting for Clinton.

I’ve been saying for a year Hillary would win because of corruption. Turns out the system is less corrupt and more stupid than I thought.

I suspected Donald Trump was nominated to scare people into voting for Hillary Clinton, but what if it was the other way around?

If Putin helped Trump win the election, it was probably more to help America fail than to help Trump succeed.

I told friends jokingly I would prefer a Trump presidency over Clinton because he’ll bring a quicker apocalypse. The joke isn’t as funny now America elected a joke for president. Now the joke is on the American people.

Nobody who is laughing on Trump’s inauguration day will be laughing 4 years from now, probably not even Trump.

Hillary Clinton telling all Americans to just go with Donald Trump’s flow proves she couldn’t care less about the American people.

Trumps promises in his acceptance speech would have been more reassuring if he didn’t speak like a confused, semi-literate child.

The smile on Hillary Clinton’s face during her concession speech to Trump demonstrates her mastery of the art of lying in public with a straight face.

If you still trust American news stations after the 2016 POTUS election, your standards of journalistic ethics are catastrophically low.

Few politicians still support Trump. Less support fixing how/why the candidate selection process is designed to nominate deplorable people.


Some people really liked Joe Biden. Other people really like having the most qualified citizens in the highest offices of government.

In retrospect, Joe Biden was a metaphor for Barack Obama.

Obama acting nonchalant about the first black president handing over power to a mentally unstable bigot, demonstrates his mastery of lying.

Obama was probably happy Trump won. Nothing would make Obama’s presidency look better than being next to Trump’s in the history books.


If you enjoyed these Tweets, you’ll also like these:

My Tweets About Self-Help
My Tweets About Romance
My Tweets About Philosophy 
My Tweets About Religion
My Tweets About Politics
My Tweets About Economics
My Tweets About Pop Culture


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